Masquerade
by Forever Yours Zana
Summary: Life is like a grand ball where the guests hide their true faces under beautiful masks. Naruto Uzumaki joins the bewitching dance and can possibly lose himself in the process. Obsession is a deadly thing, after all. Just ask Sasuke. [AU, NaruSasu]
1. Act One: Naruto, The Fox

**Zana**:(sniffs the air) Ah, there's nothing like posting up a new story in a different fandom! I've arrived! (smiles and waves) Hi Naruto Cast!

**Naruto Cast**: (all hold onto each other and starts screaming with widen eyes of fear)

**Zana**: I'm not that bad…in fact, I think you'll all learn to love and respect me!

**Naruto Cast**: … (More screaming. Naruto runs around in circles before crashing into a telephone pole.)

**Sasuke**: (sighs) They honestly don't pay me enough to do this…

**Zana**: Meh, you're all babies, including you Sasu-kun (Chidori starts forming in the background)…anyway, time for author notes! (nervous laughter)

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-13-ish

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages (around 16.) And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_.

**Pairings**: **NARU/Sasu** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

**Sasuke**: **CHIDORI!!!** (explodes Zana's home)

**Zana**: (wibbles) Not again… (sighs) Anyway, onto the story, hope you all enjoy! (starts wandering the streets with a lone laptop in hand)

_Special thanks to my amazing, wonderful beta __**Miss shy7cat**__ (aka Cat-sama) because she just rocks and helps in my journey to make my writing not completely crap! So THANK YOU MISS CAT! (glomps)_

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own Naruto or anything else. I wished I owned Sai however…this applies throughout all chapters. _

_**Edited**__: 8/1/07_

**Masquerade**

**Act One: Naruto, The Fox**

Naruto Uzumaki arrived eagerly to Spokespane Academy only to be greeted with an empty room.

He sighed softly and began to drag in his personal belongings one by one, setting them on the bed that was obviously his; the one that had yet to be touched. He glanced over to his roommate's side of the room.

_Must be a neat freak, _the blond thought, for there wasn't a single object out of place. "He didn't even bother to stop in and say hi! Didn't he know he has a new roommate?It's pretty late…aren't all the students supposed to be in their rooms…?" he murmured to himself, falling onto his bare mattress and closing his eyes.

Naruto wasn't expecting a welcome party or anything extravagant like that, but it still would have been nice to have been greeted by a (hopefully) kind roommate. Something to prove that taking advantage of the scholarship offered to him was a good move.

At first he was hesitant; going to school with a bunch of wealthy kids and their crappy uniforms sounded highly unappealing. However, the idea of getting moved to yet another foster home was even worse.

_I'm going to have to "apply" myself in my classes from now on if I want to keep staying here. Who knew that stupid exam could really do so much? And here I thought I did poorly on it…_

His flow of thought was interrupted when he felt the presence of another standing above him. He opened his eyes, only to be met with three other pairs looking back at himNaruto screamed and promptly rolled off the bed, hitting the ground head first in the process.

"Who the _fuck _are you guys?! Who do you think you are sneaking up on someone like that? I _oughta…!"_

"Damn, he's a loud one," one of the three grumbled as he smirked and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. The silver glinted ominously in the florescent lit room. The other two pulled out what seemed to be a blind fold and a mouth gag. Naruto's left eye twitched, "Hey…hey…what the hell are you doing with that shit? Why are you coming so close? _**HEY**_….!!!"

Moments later, the blond found that his world has grown dark and he was unable to speak. The cloth shoved into his mouth tasted of sweat drenched socks. The handcuffs chaffed his wrists and felt deathly cold against his flesh. His heartbeat quickened as he tried to struggle free and escape, but to no avail. He could distinctly hear the shuffled footsteps of the bastards who kidnapped him, their footsteps moving quickly as they carried him off to who knew where.

_Damn it…damn it...what did I do to deserve this? Are these guys serious? What are they planning to do with me? Holy shit, what if it's like that story where those teens buried the new kid alive?! I need to get out of here! I swear I'm going to beat these assholes good if I make it out of this…_

The feel of the cold night air brushing against his skin gave away the fact that they were now outside. Naruto made a panicked sound in the back of his throat.

"We're almost there," he heard one of their voices say, followed by chuckling. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, someone fuckin' save me, I've been abducted by fucking lunatics who are planning to off me! And then they won't find my body until it's been devoured by fucking worms…shit…shit...SHIT!!!_

The blond felt his entire body drop to the ground. "…Get his clothes off," a voice ordered. Naruto made a guttural growl in the back of his throat once again; he moved his legs and felt his foot connect with someone's stomach, kicking them away; capable hands then held his legs down. His breath hitched as he heard the zipper of his jeans come undone, the rustle of his shirt being pulled off.

_Are they going to…no, they can't…guys don't get…oh God…they're going to rape me and THEN bury me alive!!! This is…this is so fucking embarrassing…its not fair…the damned world's never been fair in the first place…I-_

Naruto's boxers were kept on and a surge of relief went through his body, but the brief moment of calm ended as he was lifted up once again.

"Three…two…one…_THROW_!"

The blond felt himself soar through the air before gravity took hold of him, pulling him down so that his body slammed into what he could tell was water. The liquid rushed into his nasalcavity, filling his lungs. His blindfold floated off of his face and all he could see above him was pure darkness and the occasional air bubble.

He shook his wrists, kicking his legs, trying to swim back up to the surface. The harder he tried, the faster he sunk and the darker it seemed to grow around him. He choked and trembled, his rapid heartbeat and rushing blood flow added to his growing terror.

_Am I going to die now…no…I can't…I can't…I've got a promise to keep…a promise I said…I'd keep…I can't…I can't…I can't-_

**XXX**

"Alright, I guess it's time for me to go down there and get 'im," Kiba Inuzuka said as he removed the appropriate clothing.

Shikamaru Nara sighed, staring into the depths of the water, "Man, he's going to be pissed at us; might even rat us out to the headmistress…how troublesome." Chouji Akimichi shrugged as he munched on an apple, "We've done this to every newbie in our dorm, we even went through it. You get over it in about a few days."

Kiba had dived into the lake and disappeared underneath a few waves.

Shikamaru looked at Chouji, "And since when did you start eating anything even _remotely _healthy?" The big boned teenager huffed, "For your information, I'm on a diet," he stated proudly, tilting his head upward. "…That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. And pigs are flying out of my ass as well…"

The surface of the lake moved and waves were created as Kiba's head came above water, holding the blond close to him as he swam to shore.

"…You guys…I don't think he's breathing," Kiba stated as he removed the gag as well as unlocked the handcuffs. The blond's skin was pale and his body the temperature of ice. Quickly, Shikamaru pressed both hands on his chest and began to repeatedly press down on it.

"Do you think we left him down there for too long?" Choji asked with worry as he started to pace around in circles, "We can't be murderers, no one's ever died from this before!" Kiba grabbed the front of the chubbier teen's shirt, "Will you _shut up_? He's not fucking dead alright?! We just have to keep calm about this…act cool."

"Damn it…_breathe_," Shikamaru murmured, pinching their victim's nose closed before giving him mouth to mouth. He'd rather fake kiss a guy than get charged with murder. Going to jail would be such a drag on his part. He pulled away as the blonde started making deep, heaving sounds; coughing as he turned to his side and water mixed with saliva gushed out of his lips.

"…He's going to be fine," Shikamaru announced wiping his mouth in distaste, "…There goes my kissing virginity," he mumbled sarcastically.

**XXX**

Naruto's eyes fluttered open as sound and color returned to him. Fat droplets of water clung to his hair and rolled down his body in rivulets; a towel was placed over his head.

"You almost had us scared there for a second, welcome back to the surface buddy," One of the three said, reaching a hand out.

Naruto stood up and before the guy could see it, punched him straight in the face. Warm droplets of blood covered his fist as he shook violently, "…You…you…you motherfucking _bastards!_ You thought that stunt you pulled was funny? I almost _DIED _because of you! If almost DYING is a joke to you, then you shitheads need more damn help than I thought!" His face grew warm as he looked down.

"I hope you bastards had your fun," he ended lowly before running off. All he wanted now was to just go back to his room and be greeted with deep slumber. He would deal with those people more _thoroughly_ when he wasn't feeling so much like shit.

_Not like this feeling is anything new to me… _

**XXX**

Somewhere far away, but not quite, somewhere parallel to this world, but not quite, somewhere hidden, but not quite, was a curtain. A vividly decorated piece of cloth integrated with colors of deep emerald, electrifying blue, royal purple, every color imaginable (even a few undiscovered, such as plunka),it was sewn together and brought into existence by The Dark Artist.

This piece of cloth was translucentand behind it was where two shadow people lived, known as The Shadow Boys. The two dark figures took human form; they spoke with human voices, and conveyed human affairs with biting wit and refreshing spunk. The two shadow people had knowledge on everything, everyplace, and more importantly, every_one_.

_**OOO**_

The audience settled in their seats as the play began. Their eyes were first greeted by the shadow of a young man behind the great curtain.

"I am Ka-Kun." He bowed as another male silhouette joined him, "And I am Ge-Kun, welcome to our grand show! Get ready to chortle, to sob, to be revolted and bewildered."

A final click was heard as the audience looked toward the doors. They were welded shut. They were locked inside with no means of escape.

Ge-Kun began to twirl around and around until he was face to face with Ka-Kun, "Did you hear? Have you seen? Have you, have you, have you…?"

"Have I what?"

Ge-Kun whispered, "Naruto Uzumaki has arrived." He began to move his shadow fingers with grace, as long and as thin as a spider's leg, "Poor Naruto. Do you know what happened to his entire family? Do you know what happened to his parents? Do you; do you, Ka-Kun?"

The other shadow opened his fingers as the dark figure of a moth fluttered out, "Poor Naruto Uzumaki…he is like an insect, a fragile little insect…oblivious to…"

Ge-Kun laughed and took Ka-Kun's hand into his own, suddenly donning on a dress, "Will you dance with me, me, me, _meeeeeeeeeeee_?" Ge-Kun's voice broke someone's glasses in the audience. "Ah, perhaps my opera voice was a _tad_ bit too high?" Soft music flowed through the theater as the two outlines waltzed around.

"Moths are such foolish insects…they allow themselves to be seduced and manipulated, all for a fix of that precious light," Ka-Kun said. The shadow moth flittered around both of their heads, going higher and higher, closer and closer to the lamp Ge-Kun had just turned on. Ka-Kun leaned against a wall and continued, "The foolish moth takes in more than it can ever handle, falls too deep into the waters of unquenchable desire…and then…"

"Extra, extra, read all about it!!!" A newspaper was thrown and landed at their feet. A sharp buzz noise was heard. The moth squeaked pathetically and fell. "…The moth dies," Ge-Kun ended.

Ka-Kun picked up the paper, "Oh my, oh my, my…look at this headline! It reads, 'A Certain Previously Expelled Raven Haired Greek God is Returning.'"

"Hmm. I wonder who that could be? Do you know, do you know, do you know?" Ge-Kun was dressed a newspaper boy from the twenties, "Extra, extra, read all about it! Oh, and you owe me a nickel for the paper, Mister!"

"It can be none other than…" the other responded, but his voice was cut off by clapping from the audience. A person in the front row had purposely started it.

**XXX**

_Oh fuck…_

Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, and Hinata Hyuuga all froze as they were faced with the Belleville Dorm Room Advisor, Kakashi Hatake. He was an unpredictable one, known among the students for sometimes letting things slide and other times dishing out the proper punishment. Who knew what this masked stranger was contemplating doing with them now?

"You're a new group of girls…never seen you three sneak into this dorm before. You are aware that it's past ten, which means that you're supposed to be in your own rooms, getting a good night's rest for another day of classes tomorrow, _right_?" Kakashi drawled, leaning against a wall while reading his (porn) book. It was at times like this that Sakura that she wasn't so boyish and could use her feminine wiles to get her way, like the vixens in the movies do. She had to resort to more unorthodox ways…

"You know why we're here; you have no choice but to let us see Sasuke Uchiha," the bright pink haired tomboy stated bluntly as she poked at Kakashi's chest, "You know as well as I do that you're only standing here because you're waiting to see Sasuke too! You want to know what's going on as much as we do! After all, it's been only three months since he was expelled and magically, the strict as hell, bitchy headmistress lets him back _in_? C'mon Kakashi, don't leave us hanging like _that…!_"

Ino nodded enthusiastically, "We'll just say hello to Sasuke when he arrives and then go back to our dorms and…ah, study really, _really_ hard! So…_please_?"

At this point, Hinata coughed lightly and pointed out, "I don't really care for Sasuke, I just need to give my cousin an important message."

"_Yeah!_ Hinata has to see Neji for family things! Therefore, you cannot be so cruel and cold hearted as to not let us see Sasuke…and Hinata's cousin," Sakura finished off lamely, as Sasuke Uchiha casually walked passed the four of them, his baggage being carried by someone else.

"SASUKE!" Ino shouted out as she ran over next to him, flipping her blonde hair out of the way and smiling prettily. Sakura joined his other side, stopping the Uchiha in the middle of the hallway. Hinata had been long gone and Kakashi shook his head, "So it is true; Tsunade did let him back in. Interesting."

He then proceeded to head off to bed where Iruka Umino from the Rossford Dorm lay, waiting.

**XoXoXo **

"I'm so thirsty," Sasuke said announced. His tongue slipped out and glided along the surface of his lips, wetting them and making them gleam in the hallway light of the building. He moved a little closer to her, the knuckles of his hand brushing along the small of her back in a feather light caress, "Can you get me a drink, Yamanaka?"

Ino felt her heart slam into her ribcage as she blushed, "Yeah, yeah, I'll be right back, just wait for me Sasuke…and you'd better not try anything, forehead girl." She turned around and started to run down the opposite end of the hall, ponytail bouncing with each foot fall. The two remaining began walking again.

Sasuke snorted and Sakura gave him a bitter smile, "Still a bastard I see." Dark eyes scanned her up and down before replying, "And now you're a dyke, I see. Did I hurt you so badly that you decided to change gender preference?"

Sakura laughed, fluffing the back of her hair, "Long hair was bothersome…and girl clothes were getting too slutty for my tastes. I've grown up and realized that you're nothing special. Others will soon say the same."

The corner of Sasuke's lips twitched up into a smirk. Sakura sighed and looked away, "So how did you do it, how did you get back in? Did you fuck the headmistress or something?"

"Or something. As if I'd tell _you_." Sasuke stopped in his tracks, "…You're still as annoying as ever, Haruno."

He pulled out the keys to what would be is room. Sakura noticed that it was his old one, the one he shared with Neji Hyuuga. Sasuke directed the person carrying his belonging of where to place them.

"I don't care what you do or think Sasuke, just stay the hell away from my friends and go fuck with the bimbos you're better suited for. Or else I swear I'll kick your…"

The door opened by itself. Hinata stepped out, a slight smile decorating her face, "We should be on our way now, Sakura, or we could get in trouble; goodnight Sasuke." She bowed her head before walking off. Sakura stared after her friend; _Hinata can be so strange sometimes…_

A door slamming shut brought her back out of her thoughts. She shook her head, _Not like this kind of shit is anything new for me…or unexpected of Sasuke. Let me find Ino so we can get the hell out of here...I'm not through with this guy just yet…_

**XoXoXo **

Naruto rummaged through his things, looking for a dry shirt to wear. He sighed in triumph as he found the perfect one, his favorite bright orange T-shirt. The blonde slipped it over his head and flattened it down his body before running a hand through his still moist hair. _Those damned assholes, I'll get them good, just they wait…! _

"Are you my new roommate?" whispered a hot voice in his ear. Naruto screamed as he turned around, ready to attack the person if need be. Who knew what kind of psycho his supposed 'roommate' could be?

"Why the hell are you sneaking up on me like that? When did you get in here?!"

The dark haired teenager jabbed a thumb toward the open window near his the bed, "Through there. Now answer my question; are you my new roommate?"

"Yeah I am…and are you planning to do something, because I'm prepared now to take anyone on y'know…!"

"Ah. That's good to know," the other replied, nodding his head slowly. He then stuck out his hand and smiled, "My name is Sai." He squinted his eyes and looked closely at Naruto, to the point where the blonde felt uncomfortable.

"What are you staring at, you freak?"

"Your crotch. It looks like you have no penis whatsoever."

"_WHAT THE FUCK?!" _

**XXX End Act XXX **

**Bonus Act One: Rain **

**XXX**

Resigned blue eye stared vacantly at the traffic that whizzed by on the busy city streets. When the rain first began, seven year old Naruto did not notice. He did not notice until the wetness had soaked his entire being and numbed his flesh.

"_You're a stupid, worthless CHILD! Not even a child…it's obvious you're below being human…yes, you're just a vicious little animal, dirty…rancid…get OUT, get OUT RIGHT NOW!" _

"…Not human…" His lips moved but no sound came out. _It's cold. It's cold out here tonight. _

He lifted his head up to the sky and allowed himself to be burned by the rain. In school, he remembered how his teacher had once told him that acid rain from pollution was destroying forests. Maybe if he stayed out in the storm long enough, he would be devoured by the acid too.

_Rotten to the core. _

The nice thing about rain was that no one could tell the difference between raindrops and tears.

**XX END BONUS ACT XX**

**Zana**:That's all for now, I hope it wasn't too bad…

**Naruto**: What's up with the random shadow things?

**Sasuke**: They took up some of my screen time…that is UNFORGIVABLE!

**Zana**: You destroyed my home…that's unforgivable as well. Anyway, the authoress would just LOVE it if everyone who takes a gander at this fic _**REVIEWS**_! Because I _WILL_ hunt you down if you add me to a story alert list/author alert list without reviewing. **R&R is the way to go!** _Constructive Crit will be praised, and flames will be laughed at. _Until next time!

_Ja ne! _


	2. Act Two: Gaara, The Tanuki

**Edited 8/2/07: **I posted the un-betaed chapter by accident. Here is the real thing! Please forgive the authoress!

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-13-ish

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages (around 16.) And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARU/Sasu** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_And many thanks to the lovely __**Miss shy7cat**__, my awesome beta/friend. Without her kick ass skills and intelligent insight, I would be lost and my writing would be sprinkled with gruesome mistakes and sentences that do not flow correctly. Much love, adoration, and appreciation!_

Zana: I've found a new home, ever since you-know-who had to go all Chidori on my old one! (throws confetti)

Sasuke: Hn, who would be pathetic enough to take the likes of you in?

Zana: (glare) For your information, Sasu-chan, I'm now living in Suna with none other than the Kazekage!

Naruto Cast: (excluding Gaara, make a scandalous gasp noise)

Naruto: Ne, Gaara, is this true? (tugs on Gaara's robes)

Gaara: (nods) Miss Zana can be very useful; she is very nurturing and understanding…

Sasuke: (is getting ready to slaughter Zana for the 'Sasu-chan' comment)

Gaara: Don't you even try it Uchiha…(narrows eyes)

Naruto: Yeah Sasuke, stop being a little emo bitch for once and have some fun! (takes Sasuke and Gaara's hands) Let's go and celebrate by getting some ramen!

Sasuke and Gaara: (at the same time thinking) _Damn him for being so…so sexy! _

Zana: (watches as the three skip off into the sunset) Ah. There's nothing like threesomes to make a fangirl nosebleed (holds a tissue to her nose)

Sai: Oh, I'll make you really nosebleed, ugly author woman, Neji-kun, get my toy box and the edible—

Neji: (un-Hyuuga like blush) _SAI_, not right now…!

Zana: Time to roll on with the chapter! Special thanks to all those who reviewed, I am forever grateful! For all of those who read and did not…well, it would be nice if you did review ne?

**Masquerade**

**Act Two: Gaara, The Tanuki**

Naruto hated Sai.

He had told his roommate this before going to bed after their less than pleasant exchange of words. He thought it was amazing how he had made so many enemies during his first night at the school. He wondered how he would fare during his classes the upcoming day.

Normally, when someone becomes one of The Hated (Sai), the person ought to know better and avoid The Hater (Naruto) at all costs. But not Sai, as Naruto discovered the next morning, when he found himself waking up next to a mostly naked raven-haired boy.

Sai's pale body pressed up against him.

Sai's head nuzzled deeply into the crook of his neck.

Sai's arms wrapped loosely around his middle.

And Sai's soft, creamy leg slipped in between Naruto's tanned ones. Sai moved slightly and his knee rubbed against what Naruto had dubbed "the forbidden zone". The blond's breath hitched as he blushed before he shook his head and promptly shoved Sai off of his bed.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

Sai groaned softly as he awoke. He blinked as he studied the carpet and then raised his head to meet the infuriated face of his roommate. The raven-haired teen tilted his head to the side, "Is there something wrong dickless?"

"What makes you think you can sneak into my bed at night like that you little pervert?! You're just ASKING for me to beat the shit out of you! And stop talking about MY DICK, that isn't _NORMAL_!"

Sai blinked a few more times before giving a noncommittal shrug, as if to say, 'Talking about other people's dicks is perfectly normal; are _you_ out of your mind?' before giving him what Naruto interpreted as a shit-eating smile.

Just when Naruto thought things couldn't get any worse, Sai stood up and began to sing, "_Time for me to see if anything is going on before classes, and maybe smack a few asses!_"

Blue eyes wandered involuntarily toward Sai's perfect, black boxer covered behind as his roommate walked out of the room.

_I need to get my priorities in order, starting with my sexual preferences and ending with my anger issues…_

The door swung open seconds later.

"Hey, dickless wonder; stop moping about having absolutely nothing in between your legs and get to the common room; we have a meeting!"

_On second thought, let's begin with my anger issues…_

**OOO**

Sasuke Uchiha frankly did _not _want to spend the first five minutes of his first morning back at Spokespane Academy listening to his sexually deviant RA ramble about rules which he knew none of the boys followed…unless they happened to be a loser with no social life.

Neji had rudely awoken him mere moments before the meeting and he had barely had time to put on anything save for a pair of sweatpants and a grey t-shirt before he was dragged into the common room. Neji was well aware that the Uchiha despised looking like a bum in front of others; it just didn't mesh with the black-haired teen's cool demeanor. The Hyuuga himself was fully dressed in uniform. He worked hard maintaining a façade of flawlessness that included being an early bird and he lorded it over Sasuke with a superior smirk.

As more boys filled the room, he could feel the hate-filled glares of those who detested his return burn into his flesh while the admiration oozing from those who (still) worshipped him brushed away the ashes of their dislike.

"Brings back warm memories, doesn't it Uchiha…?"

"…Why yes it does; memories of when I'd fuck your face into the mattress and you'd be too sore to make it to breakfast," Sasuke replied nonchalantly to which Neji's pale eyes narrowed sharply.

**OOO**

_Grr, those three bastards who threw me into the lake are here…why do they keep staring at me? I'm gonna kill them…I wish everyone in the room would stop staring at me…Sai especially needs to stop fucking staring at me!!! Can't this meeting be over and done with already?!_

Naruto avoided making eye contact with anyone else as he sat down on a couch, staring mostly at his bare feet. He allowed his eyes to explore the large room he was in from time to time. To Naruto, being placed in some stuffy, Victorian-looking room with a horde of eerie paintings and a bunch of reeking, rowdy _guys_ was not his idea of fun. The scholarship student decided that he already disliked this uncomfortable place known as the common room.

"It seems that everyone is here…let's start. Since we have a returning member as well as a new one, I felt that we should have this little rendezvous in order to make them feel welcomed as well as to go over the important rules of the dorm. I'm Kakashi Hatake. Just call me Kakashi."

This statement earned a groan from most people in the room. Naruto looked up at his RA. Floppy grey hair, masked face, a scar over one of his eyes…

..._He looks like he's under the influence or something…with a smidgen of pervert…_

"…Now that I've introduced myself, it gives me great pleasure to reintroduce Sasuke Uchiha." At this the room became hushed. Someone coughed.

_**Sasuke…?! **_

Cerulean eyes scanned the large space, past the heads and half-naked, sleep-deprived bodies in the room until they settled on a dark haired teenager with an expression of disinterest as to the comings and goings of the meeting. _Can it be him? It has to be, they look just alike! Sasuke…_

"It also gives me great pleasure to introduce…" Kakashi looked at a sheet of paper, "…Na-ru-to…Uzu-maki?"

The blond's attention shifted back to his RA, "…Um?"

Some laughter followed as Kakashi cleared his throat, "That's enough now. I expect all of you to be civil to Naruto, at least for the first few weeks…and none of that initiation crap, because if Naruto reports that someone's thrown him in the lake, you can find yourself on a plane back home. Are we clear? Alright then. Now time for the fun part…rules."

Kakashi was quick about them and once he had gone through the list he dismissed his group off to their morning activities before class. Everyone began to leave the common room at once.

Naruto stood up, pushing his way through the crowd as he tried to make his way over to Sasuke Uchiha, "…Oi! Sasuke…Sasuke…!"

He wasn't even met with so much as a double take, as his dark haired, pale target moved forward and soon vanished within the crowd.

_Just like before…_

**XXX**

"Hey Kiba, look," Chouji raised a chubby finger and pointed behind Shikamaru, nibbling on a baby carrot from his salad, "It's the kid that punched you in the face." Indeed, it was the blond student introduced during the morning's meeting standing in the breakfast line.

"Hey, hey, did you have to point out that little tidbit?" Kiba growled, hand going immediately to his nose where the nurse had patched it up. The new kid had one hell of a punch; that was for sure, "Anyway, do you think he's still pissed off?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "How should I know? Maybe you ought to go up there and ask him."

"What?! And get punched in the face again? I'm not going to be the only one that suffers his wrath…"

Chouji shook his head, "Don't look at me; that kid's kinda scary when he's pissed off…"

Canine like teeth flashed, "Argh, don't tell me you _pussies _are afraid of some kid we threw in a lake?!" Shikamaru snorted, "Weren't you just wimping out yourself?"

"…Threw _who_ in the lake?"

The three friends turned their heads to look as Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga, and Tenten Ama stood over them with their trays. They gulped as Sakura slammed her tray down and cracked her knuckles.

"Don't tell me you guys did that stupid initiation on some poor new guy," Tenten continued in obvious disapproval.

Ino crossed her arms and glared, "Don't tell me you were apart of it Shikamaru!" He replied with a sigh of, "Bothersome women." To which Ino snapped, "Just who are you calling _bothersome_, huh?!"

Kiba waved his arms around as if to chase away his impending doom, "Please have mercy on me Haruno! The kid already punched me and his punch is strong enough to rival yours!!!" In desperate times such as these, Kiba Inuzuka wasn't afraid to sacrifice his pride. He would redeem himself with a manly act later.

The pinkette snorted as she adjusted the tie of the boy's uniform that she wore, "The three of you better find that kid and apologize now. God, high school guys are immature _everywhere.._."

"_Not_ Sasuke Uchiha!" Her blonde friend squealed as she sat down to discuss the brief flirtation between her and her crush of six years that had occurred the night before with her fellow girlfriends. Sakura groaned at the mention of Sasuke.

"Gladly Haruno, anything to get away from the Uchiha Plague," Kiba grumbled. Ino laughed haughtily, "You're just jealous because you're not amazing like he is _dog face_!"

**XXX**

Naruto was left speechless as he stared into the depths of the white bowl given to him when he asked the lunch lady for ramen. Inside the bowl was what appeared to be partially cooked noodles, chicken broth, and an assortment of grey-ish colored vegetables.

"…Hey old lady, this isn't ramen! This is…this is…I don't even know what the _hell_ to call this!!!"

The aging cafeteria worker grunted, "It's the chef's special soup. It's the closest thing you'll get to ramen 'round here." She then grinned, exposing a few missing teeth along with a golden tooth. Or at least Naruto _thought_ it was golden.

Naruto vomited a little in his mouth.

Without another word, he turned around and walked out of line, planning to trash the fake ramen and ditch breakfast entirely. That was before the Three Bastards surrounded him. The blond stared appreciatively at the damage his punch had inflicted on the guy with the wild-looking appearance; the other boy opened his mouth to speak.

"Ah, so you went for the soup, eh? I'd suggest you not eat it, that shit looks disgusting. Anyway, we're here to apologize for uh…you know. Before. I mean… you didn't snitch, did you?"

Naruto looked at the three of them, shaking his head no. The fat one sighed with relief. The lazy looking one then spoke, "It was suppose to just be an initiation thing. But now that it's over, we want to make it up with you. Be your friends …and stuff."

_Friends? What the hell? And what kind of "stuff?"_

Naruto thought about the matter for a total of ten seconds before his face lit up in a smile, "Well, do you know what I think? I think friends don't throw friends into lakes for something as stupid as an initiation. So you can take your so called friendship and shove it up your assholes!"

He took the bowl of simmering nasty soup and threw it as hard as he could toward the dog-faced one before dropping his tray and running out of the cafeteria. Luckily, Kiba ducked just in time to miss being covered in the nasty stuff. This, unfortunately, allowed the bowl to dump its questionable contents all over a different victim, one who had just walked into the cafeteria…

…it just _had_ to be Sasuke Uchiha.

**XXX**

_Someone is coming…who…?_

Gaara shifted in his hiding spot amongst the leaves and branches of the oak tree as the stranger approached. The stranger sat down, letting out a long sigh before looking up and blinking as the his deep cobalt eyesmet with the light green-blue of Gaara's own

A light breeze caused movement in their hair and clothing as their eyes lingered upon one another for a few seconds. The blond spoke, breaking the silence and freeing Gaara from his small trance, "Do you mind if I join you? I need somewhere to hide too, at least before class starts." Gaara looked away, not bothering to reply.

The stranger must have been new _and_ idiotic for he had made his way up the tree and settled on a branch right across from him. He wore an orange tie.

"I guess you're one of those quiet types then. But that's alright; I can do the talking for the both of us. I'm Naruto Uzumaki…and since you're most likely not going to tell me your name…I'll just call you Tanuki-chan."

Naruto waited to see a reaction, any kind of reaction, from the red head. The tanuki's eyes narrowed into slits.

Naruto beamed childishly, "Aha, so you must be in a Japanese class or at least know some because you know I just called you a raccoon dog. But the eye makeup looks kind of cool; I wish I could get away with something like that! Hmm…there's kanji on your head…that must have been a painful place to put a tattoo…huh…it reads 'love.' What does that mean Tanuki-chan? Do you have a girlfriend? They always go for the quiet types…I wonder why… or do you just love yourself, since it's on your body and there's no female name present? Or are you—"

Gaara placed a hand upon Naruto's chest. "Tanuki-chan, I'd never pen you as a closet perv…" Naruto's voice trailed off as the redhead cut him off in a deathly calm tone.

"Don't ever come near me _again_."

Gaara pushed forward hard, watching apathetically as Naruto fell backwards, hands reaching up to the sky as if he could grab onto the edge of a cloud before falling.

_**XXX**_

The Uchiha Fanatics were enraged.

The Uchiha Haters were overjoyed.

The Uchiha himself…was ardent for revenge.

**XOXOXO **

"Hajimete kimi to shabetta, I say, hajimete kimi to shabetta." Ge-Kun said solemnly.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Ka-Kun questioned, a balloon being held in one hand, slowly expanding.

"Hajimete kimi to shabetta," Ge-Kun replied with a huff, as if that simple phrase was the answer to all of the world's most philosophical questions.

"You can stop with that now. We have to perform the story! The plot thickens!" Ka-Kun said with a dark chuckle.

The audience gasped.

Ge-Kun twisted around until his body morphed into that of a child's. Ka-Kun began to tell the tale.

"_Once upon a time, there was a very lonely little boy who did not have any parents. He lived with a bunch of other lonely children like himself in a place where he could possibly be taken in by a couple of loving people to be his new parents. Most children had a chance of being taken by people when they were still babies, when they were still like clay; vulnerable and easy to shape; however, this little boy grew and grew, until he reached an age where he was unlikely to get picked at all. Whenever the adult couples would come to choose, they would always frown down at him and whisper things he could not hear. The little boy grew angry. He craved attention and affection; he craved what other children took for granted…_"

Ge-Kun began to stomp around in his child form, now holding Ka-Kun's balloon that grew fatter by the minute, "It's not fair! It's not fair! Did I do something bad to deserve this? Why doesn't anyone want me? Don't I have any other family? Why did my parents have to die?! If I have to suffer, then others will suffer with me! I'll make them notice me, kukukuku…!"

"…_The lonely, angry little boy decided to become a prankster, pulling on the other children's hair, purposely destroying objects, cursing and screaming; like an animal that was out of control…the adults started to refer to him as a little monster…" _

Ge-Kun pumped a fist in the air, "That's right you cruel, cold-hearted adults. Call me a monster, you treat me like one! Take notice of me and my bad actions, this is what happens when a child is ignored! Feel my wrath, kukukukukuku…!"

"…_But all of this changed one night, when another little boy arrived. He reminded the lonely, angry child of the moon. The other little boy kept to himself. The lonely, angry little boy decided that he saw himself in this moon child…he wanted to make friends with the moon child; he hungered for his attention, so desperately that it made his heart cry…and on the third day, he built up the courage to speak with the moon child…" _

Ge-Kun pointed at Ka-Kun, "My name is Naruto…what is yours? Why do you sit in a corner all alone? Are you…are you like me? Do you want parents to love you too?"

"…_The moon child looked up at the one questioning him, and the moon child thought, 'This one is bright like the sun…if I get to close, I will surely burn!' So he used ice to freeze out the sun child, 'I am not like you, idiot. I have parents. My name is Sasuke Uchiha.' The lonely, angry boy then asked…" _

"Why? Why are you here then? Why aren't you home with the ones you love…?"

"_The moon child did not give him an answer. The lonely, angry child decided that this boy would become his enemy, his rival. It wasn't fair that this boy had everything the sun child ever wanted. The sun and moon were never meant to coexist together! However, the sun and moon still share the same vast sky. After the sun declared to the moon his rivalry, the moon smiled and said, 'You freaking idiot.'" _

"Hajimete kimi to shabetta…," Ge-Kun said somberly. Ka-kun huffed, "Ge-Kun, we have to finish the story! Get back into character!"

Ge-Kun shrugged, "The story was starting to sound unromantic, kukukukuku."

"What's with that laugh? You're acting stranger than usual…"

""Hajimete kimi to shabetta…kimi wa waratte kureta…" Ge-kun whispered.

The balloon went pop.

**XOXOXO **

"…Just…a few more steps…and…and I'll be able to sit down in a nice chair for another forty-five minutes…ugh…" Naruto bit his bottom lip as his hand traveled over his back, rubbing at a tender spot carefully. He walked hunched over, dragging his messenger bag on the floor which earned him more than his fair share of stares. Moreover, Naruto also felt sharp pangs of hunger in his stomach.

_At least this is my last class before lunch…it looks like I'll have to eat something, even if it's not ramen…_

"Let's see…Room 104, Room 104…aha!" Naruto had found his Japanese II Honors class. He straightened his back, cringing slightly as he scanned the class for a place to sit. His eyes alighted upon familiar, flaming red hair.

"Oi! Tanuki-chan! Why the hell did you push me off of that tree? Now my back's all messed up! But its okay, you can make it up to me by letting me sit with you." Naruto did just that and watched as Gaara remained impassive, looking straight ahead.

"I want to be your friend."

Naruto observed the fleeting moment of disbelief in Gaara's eyes. He grinned slyly, "And do you know why I want to be your friend, Tanuki-chan? It's because you're just like me. I can see it in your eyes. You know like when two people meet and it's all destined and shit? That's us Tanuki-chan. You can't fight fated friendship."

For a fleeting second, Gaara wondered if this blond menace was more psychologically unbalanced than he was. His musings were eradicated, however, when the blond menace (That somewhat resembled…a fox? The whisker marks on his cheeks…) was pulled away from him by none other than the Uchiha child.

The class became engulfed in a thick wave of quiet.

"…Sasuke? So you finally remembered, eh?" The whiskered teen seemed to be more than happy to be face to face with the Uchiha who looked as if he wanted to rip his head off and devour his entrails.

"Of course, how could I forget…_dobe_?" Each word had an underlying tone of acridness.

The blond's smile started to fade, "…What's with that tone, _teme?_ Still got that stick up your pretty ass?" The blond leered, his wicked smirk now reminding Gaara of a fox even more.

The first damaging blow was received seconds later.

**XXX End Act XXX **

**Bonus Act Two: Shoes**

"Dobe, what the hell are you staring at?"

Naruto Uzumaki had been staring at Sasuke Uchiha's feet for the past ten minutes when he should have been sparring with Sasuke.

"Your feet."

"And why are you staring at my feet, dobe?"

"I'm staring at your shoes, teme."

At this point, Sasuke's left eye twitched, "AND WHY ARE YOU STARING AT MY SHOES, USURATONKACHI?"

"They're in perfect condition. As if they never stepped in puddles of blood or in clumps of mud. Their soles look as if they never been through the friction of running for miles or rubbing against tree bark. They just look like…brand new ninja shoes." At this point, the orange-clad ninja laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, "You must either have dozens of shoes, or take really, really, really good care of your shoes."

At this point, Sasuke's eyes wandered over to Naruto's feet. His shoes were beat up to the maximum. Compared to his shoes, they looked like shit.

Naruto heard Sasuke murmur something that he could not comprehend. He asked the Uchiha to say it louder and Naruto was able to make out what he was trying to say.

"…I'll go…shoe shopping with you…if you ever—"

Sasuke was unable to finish the rest of his sentence as Naruto pumped a fist in the air and tackled his dark-haired teammate to the ground, orange-clad arms wrapped tightly around him, "YOU'LL BUY ME NEW SHOES _AND _RAMEN?! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOOD FOR SOMETHING TEME!!!"

Sakura Haruno let out a shriek as Naruto's body suddenly crashed into (and demolished) dozens of trees. Sasuke dropped his fist to his side as he growled, "I change my mind, you freaking idiot…"

**XXX**

**Z/N: Hajimete kimi to shabetta…kimi wa waratte kureta**: _The first time I spoke to you…you smiled._

(_Naruto 8__th__ Ending I believe, my favorite ending because of the symbolism with the picture…goes well with the "story" Ka-Kun and Ge-Kun were telling. The 7__th__ Opening is my favorite…because of the symbolism of Naruto and Sasuke's bonds of friendship…/cough, doomed love, cough/) _

Naruto, Sasuke, and Gaara: (return from getting ramen and look over chapter)

Naruto: EH?! Why was Gaara being so mean to me, we're like best friends! You're an evil, evil person Miss Zana!

Sasuke: (smirk) Too bad I have to kick Naruto's ass next chapter. This is why you're a dobe and I'm an Uchiha…

Naruto: (snort) I'd rather be a dobe than an Uchiha, your family's a little loony, and when I say loony, I'm referring mostly to Itachi.

Sasuke: (twitch) Don't say his name around me…EVER.

Naruto: Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi…(Sasuke and Naruto get into a fight)

Gaara: (tilts head) I still can't see how they are in love with each other…

Zana: (pets Gaara's head) All in due time, tanuki-chan, all in due time (clears throat) Anyway, I have a CHALLENGE for all of my readers: _**Whoever can guess the identities of the Shadow Boys (they are Naruto characters, somewhat…) will win a super special awesome prize from Miss Zana in the form of writing! So, start getting deep and philosophical…take a guess!**_

Konohamaru: Would one of them just so happen to be…Orochimaru?

Zana: My lips are sealed! Kukukukuku! Anyway, _please R&R_, it's the way to go and makes Miss Zana update faster as well as smile stupidly. Until the next exciting chapter…

_Ja ne!_


	3. Act Three: Sasuke, The Serpent

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-16 plus-ish (_oh yes_, rejoice).

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages (around 16.) And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARUSasuNaru** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_And many thanks to the lovely, wonderful __**Miss shy7cat**__, my awesome beta/friend. Without her kick ass skills and intelligent insight, I would be lost and my writing would be sprinkled with gruesome mistakes and sentences that do not flow correctly. Much love, adoration, and appreciation! THANKS A MILLION, this chapter's bitchin' thanks to ya! _

_And thank you to those who reviewed, I appreciate it greatly! _

Gaara: The identity of these shadow boys are quite a mystery…is anyone even close Miss Zana?

Zana: Nope! (types away on laptop) You should get back to all that paperwork, Kazekage-sama, because I know you don't want to sit there all day doing it! (type type type)

Lee: (bursts into Gaara's office) You will not even divulge your secret to the ever-so-youthful me, Miss Zana?!

Zana: Nope! Because if I do, I know Naruto and Sasuke will be ready to use disturbing forms of torture to get the information out of you…

Sasuke: (walks into Gaara's office with katana pulled out) Why don't I just use a disturbing form of torture with you and get the information I need… (purrs and licks blade)

Zana: (screams) HE'S BECOME EVEN _MORE_ LIKE OROCHIMARU!!! (hides behind Gaara like the frightened fangirl she is)

Naruto: (jumps through a glass window, destroying it) I'll save you, BELIEVE IT/DATTEBAYO!!!

Sasuke: (twitch) Don't say HIS name around me either!!! (Sharingan'd eyes)

Gaara: …Why are there so many people in my office? (angry tick) Have you all no respect?

**Masquerade**

**Act Three: Sasuke, The Serpent**

_Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…_

Naruto vaguely wondered what the nurse was quietly discussing with Sasuke in the corner of her orderly, immaculate white office.

_Gah, even the stupid nurse is pampering his spoiled ass, I'm injured too y'know…!_

"Did you get into a fight with Sasuke Uchiha? That bruise looks rather painful."

Naruto looked over to where the soft, gentle voice had floated from. A red blush dusted his sun-kissed cheeks as he gazed into big, gorgeous, brown eyes. The pretty eyes belonged to the face of an equally pretty girl…who was sitting right next to him. Naruto held his breath.

_C'mon Uzumaki, play it cool, play it cool, a hot chick is actually taking notice of you…!_

The blond student crossed his arms across his chest as he gave the pretty girl a huge grin, "Yeah, yeah, I got into a fight with the bastard. I'll admit, he got in like only one _good_ punch, but I surely laid the smack down all over his pretty boy ass! So…you must be wondering what's the name of this sexy piece of man-meat. Why, his name is Naruto Uzumaki, of course! What's your name, pretty lady; if you don't mind me asking…?"

_Guh, she must think I'm a total idiot…man-meat? Where the hell did that come from--?!_

The girl covered her mouth with her hand, stifling a giggle, "My name is Haku, Mr. Sexy Piece of Man-Meat. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She smiled sweetly at Naruto, causing his heart to skip a beat. He was sure that his heart would stop completely as the girl lifted a hand to cup the side of his face, lightly brushing her fingertips along his blossoming bruise.

"Nurse Kurenai will be able to patch you up in no time, once she's done with Sasuke." Naruto let out a sigh of relief as the girl removed her hand from his face and placed it in her lap.

"…So what brings you here Haku? You don't seem injured or sick at all…"

The brunette flipped back her shiny, dark locks. She raised a finger to the blond's face and stuck out her tongue playfully, "Paper cut. But now that it's all better, I should be heading back to class…even though I'll have to return to that horrible math test. Ah well!" Haku stood up and Naruto didn't miss the swish of her school uniform skirt against her delicate legs.

_Don't drool, don't drool, don't look like a total, raging perv…!_

"I'll make sure to see you soon, Naruto Uzumaki," She took a few steps toward the door before pausing and turning around.

"By the way, I'm a _boy_. For now." And then _he_ was gone.

Naruto screamed as he pulled at his unruly blond hair, "HE TRICKED ME! What business does a GUY have looking all girly and wearing the girl's uniform? ARGH!!! It's not FAIR…maybe I _really _am—"

"…Naruto, please be quiet, there are patients trying to sleep in the back room," the nurse scolded lightly. Her eerily red eyes (_were they contacts?_) looked over in his direction before focusing back on Sasuke. "…As for you Sasuke, eat this."

Naruto watched as the nurse handed Sasuke a chocolate bar. The Uchiha glared at her darkly, but Nurse Kurenai's steely crimson stare matched his. An unspoken agreement formed between them and Sasuke began to unwrap the chocolate bar, taking a small bite of it with great aversion.

"Hey lady, do I get a chocolate bar too? I'm kind of hungry…" The blond emphasized his point by rubbing his stomach.

"Only if you behave while I tend to your injuries," the woman replied, walking over to Naruto with a first aid kit.

"If Anko-sensei hadn't stopped our fight, I would have been able to hurt you even more. You got off lucky, dumbass," Sasuke said coolly, smirking as he took another bite of his chocolate bar.

"Ah, Sasuke, please refrain from threats and dirty language in my office. Make sure to eat up now," Nurse Kurenai interrupted as she wrapped Naruto's bloodied hand in bandages. Naruto snarled, "You bastard, what the hell is your problem? First you ATTACK me for no fucking reason and then—"

"No reason? Are you THAT stupid? How do you explain the flying bowl in the cafeteria, followed by you running away with your tail in between your legs? You've spelled out your own death sentence, messing with me usuratonkachi."

"Jesus Christ Sasuke, why the hell are you acting like you don't remember me? We were friends at the orphanage and then, and then you left…that day with your family. You ran away from home; you told me remember? You…you didn't even say GOODBYE. What kind of crap is that?!"

Sasuke snorted, "It's amazing how stupid you are…making up some half-assed story just to get out of an ass-kicking. Like I'm going to believe something as stupid as that. Tch, **y**ou must be mentally retarded to believe that someone like _me _would ever be friends with someone like _you_." His smirk grew wider.

_(A poisoned arrow of words hits its target, the heart.)_

Kurenai Yuhi felt herself be shoved away by Naruto Uzumaki; she stumbled backwards, tripping over her feet, and fell to the floor, the items of her first aid kit scattering across the white floor in colorful disarray.

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL BEAT THAT SHITTY ATTITUDE RIGHT OUT OF YOUR—"

Before Naruto could land his desired punch on Sasuke's stupid smirking face, his fist was caught and gripped tightly. "Not so fast Uzumaki," a creepy voice whispered in Naruto's ear, sending shivers up his spine. He was pushed forcefully back into his seat by none other than his Japanese teacher, Anko-sensei. The busty teacher grinned as she grabbed the front of Naruto's jacket; she blew a big pink bubble face before it popped and she resumed chewing it once more, her eyes alight with malice.

"Alright brat, I'm going to tell you what's going down and you're going to be a good boy n' listen, alright? ALRIGHT! First off, you're going to apologize to Yuhi-san for being so disrespectful. Then you'll let her finish up with your ungrateful ass. Second, you and Uchiha are going to pay a little visit to Headmistress Tsunade's office. You see, she doesn't like fighting. It makes her school look bad…"

At this point, Anko paused, sending her heated stare toward Sasuke's direction. The Uchiha, however, just leaned against the wall, eyes closed, still chewing steadily at his bar of sweetness.

"And finally, the both of you are to report to my classroom at the end of the school day for detention every day until I say otherwise. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Naruto murmured. The Japanese teacher growled as she tugged on Naruto's tie, practically choking him, "Crystal _what_, Naruto-kun?" Naruto gasped, "Crystal clear Anko-sensei!" "There, there, that's a good boy." She patted his head with a pleased smirk.

Sasuke turned his head away in acknowledgement.Anko beamed as she let go of the blond, "Great! I can't wait to see you two after school. I'm sure we're going to have a lot of fun then, heh."

_It's official; that woman is a sadist, _Naruto thought, sulking, _I won't survive her wrath…_

**XXX**

_I swear I've never seen that idiot before in my life and yet…_

Sasuke closed his eyes and tilted his neck upward, feeling the lukewarm droplets of water from the showerhead above cleanse his skin. He allowed his hands to rub against his body in deliberate, light strokes. He traced his jaw line moving downward to his collarbone then across his nipples, stroking the pink nubs lightlySasuke's breath hitched. His back pressed against the tiled wall of the shower as his other hand slid over sharp hipbones, trailing into coarse, dark curls…

Sasuke growled audibly in frustration.

_I need to get laid soon…_

_And why…why does Uzumaki seem so…familiar? _

Sasuke searched his memories, trying to see if he could recall a noisy, obnoxious, idiot blond in any of them. Something began to come to mind, color filling the darkness of his vision...

"…_You freaking idiot." _

_A small smile. Then another smile. This one was brighter and warmer. _

Sasuke's head began to swim; pale hands buried themselves in blue-black tresses. The dull throbbing in the back of his head began to seep to the front. He groaned, falling to his knees, pulling at his hair. His skull felt as if it was being split in two with an ax. The sound of the water hitting the tub surface grew louder, sounding more like a waterfall, reverberating…

"…_Foolish otouto, why did you run away…? _

"…_I don't remember. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."_

"…_That's a good boy." _

_**Itachi…? Fuck him…**_

_Then another smile. This one was brighter and warmer._

_**Who does that smile belong to…?**_

_Fingerdownthespine…_

"_Don't you remember? Mother and father are dead." _

"…Yes…how could I forget?" The Uchiha said to himself. He turned off the shower and stepped out of the tub, grabbing the Hyuuga's towel instead of his own off of the rack and wrapping it around his waist. His eyes glanced at the clock hanging on the bathroom on his way out.

_Hm, twenty minutes before lunch is over. To go to class or not go to class, that is the question…._

"There you are, Sasuke-kun. I've been waiting for you. You're looking well for someone who's just gotten out of rehab. Not as pale…definitely a bit scrawnier. Nothing a simple workout can't fix though."

Sasuke snorted as he rummaged through his things. "Is that where everyone assumed I was during my suspension?" he said to the person currently lounging on Neji's bed, drawing in a large sketch book The sound of lead scraping against paper made Sasuke itch.

"Naturally. Due to the…_terms_ of your expulsion and all. It's a wonder the Headmistress allowed you back. You must have put some of your Uchiha Charm to use, ne?" Sai smiled as he took a box out of his pocket, waving it around teasingly in mid-air, "Looking for these, Sasuke-kun?"

"Don't touch my shit," Sasuke walked up to the artist and snatched away his box of cigarettes, "Get the hell out of my room." The Uchiha held the thin white stick to his lips, flicked his lighter, and lit the end of his cigarette, taking a deep drag before exhaling. It made the itching stop.

Sai placed his creative tools aside and lifted himself off the bed. He stood behind Sasuke, and, placing his hands on Sasuke's shoulders, licked away a drop of water from Sasuke's neck. Sai began to knead Sasuke's shoulders, "So tense and angry…not that it's anything new. Let me make you feel more relaxed, Sasuke-kun…"

"I said _GET OUT_." Sasuke pulled the cigarette away from his lips and pressed its glowing orange end against Sai's hand. The artist loosened his hold on the Uchiha and stared at his hand, the fake smile now gone and replaced with an unreadable expression.

"Sasuke-kun, that hurts."

"…That was kind of the point, dumbass. Now leave before I get _really_ pissed off. " Sasuke trailed off, moving to open all of the windows in an attempt to rid the room of the smell the smoke left behind. Sai was smiling again, "I like the pain."

The artist walked over to Sasuke, plucked the cigarette from those famously pouty, frowning lips and placed it into his own mouth, inhaling and exhaling before putting it out and tossing it out the nearest window.

"An indirect kiss. A cigarette kiss. Those things are bad for you, Sasuke-kun. Cigarettes."

Sasuke snarled and shoved Sai against the wall, grabbing a handful of Sai's uniform, pressing his half-naked, wet body against Sai's.

"You like pain? Well, I'll give you some pain that you'll just _love_." There was a spark of dark amusement in Sasuke's eyes. The clash of lips, the clacking of teeth, biting, nails digging into skin, a hint of blood, pained gasps, smothered moans. This thing…this sinister, bad, intangible _thing_, made things feel almost right. _Almost_.

**XXX**

Naruto wasn't sure whether to run and hide or take it like a man when he was cornered by three girls outside the cafeteria; one of which was dressed in the male's uniform and had bright pink hair. On his way back from the Headmistress' office (who, Naruto was sure, was some kind of alcoholic with_ nice_ breasts; the woman had three empty bottles of wine on her desk for goodness sakes!) he had been attacked by various members of what had to be Sasuke's Fan ClubThey threw makeup at him, hit him with purses, and chewed him out, all for getting some punches in on their oh-so-wonderful, _darling_ Sasuke.

"Don't worry…Naruto, is it? We're not going to hurt you or anything stupid like that. In fact, we think you fighting Sasuke was very admirable. He needed to be knocked off of his high pedestal. I'm Sakura, Sakura Haruno. This is Hinata and Tenten."

The girl wearing her hair in twin buns gave a small wave while the girl standing slightly behind Sakura with long dark blue hair blushed, fiddled with her fingers and shyly mumbled a, "Hi."

"Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. Sorry if I sound rude or anything, but I've been having a bad day and I'm super hungry—"

Sakura ignored him and continued on with her speech, "I would also like to take the time to apologize on the behalf of the three assholes who tossed you into the lake. Once you get to know them, they really aren't so bad, and—"

The sound of the bell ringing cut Sakura off. Tenten shrugged, "Five minutes until the next class starts, we'd better be on our way…oh, hey, Naruto, can I see your schedule? Maybe one of us will have another class with him, y'know, besides Japanese!"

The blond groaned inwardly. He really wanted to grab something to eat, but how could he deny the requests of these nice girls? He dug his wrinkled up schedule out of his pocket and handed it to the girl. Tenten scanned through it and grinned, "What a coincidence! We all have Philosophy last period and—"

Naruto was suddenly shoved against the wall by two girls who had just raced out of the cafeteria. One sported a long, platinum blonde ponytail while the other had some sort of bizarre hair cut and glasses.

_Let me guess…Hardcore Sasuke Fangirls…_

"You bastard, who the hell do you think you are?! Coming into our school on some crappy _scholarship, _acting like you're one of us, and fighting with Sasuke like that! Are you aware of just how much better he is than you? Not only is he better looking, he actually has the money to be in this school. I mean, how _poor _are you?"

_Smack. _

The girl wearing glasses slapped him firmly on the side of his face. Naruto narrowed his eyes and growled, holding a hand to his abused cheek. If it wasn't for the fact that this girl was a _girl _and that he had already been in a fight that day, he wouldn't have hesitated to lay the ultimate beat down on her.

"What the hell, Karin? You didn't have to hit him!" The blonde with the pony tail snapped. The two females began to argue and it was Sakura who became fed up with it all and slapped the both of them. Well…the slaps were more like punches…

"Would it kill you to get your fucking minds off of Sasuke once in a while and think about other people?! Naruto, I am _so_ sorry…eh…?" Apple green eyes blinked in confusion as Naruto cleared his throat, cerulean eyes taking on a ruthless gaze. Students stopped in their tracks on their way out of the cafeteria in favor of watching whatever was going down with this scholarship nobody newbie.

"Yeah, okay, I've got an important announcement for everyone right here and right now. To all of the Sasuke Fan-bitches: STOP HARASSING ME! Sasuke was the one who started the fight and I sure as hell wasn't gonna sit back and take it! Leave me alone or else I'll be forced to kick a girl's ass, which is so _not _my style. To you three bastards…" Naruto glanced at Shikamaru, Kiba, and Chouji, "I'll give you guys a chance, because if I don't I have a feeling you'll be bugging me all year and I'll end up murdering someone due to built up irritation. To you three cute chicks..." The blond pointed at Tenten, Hinata, and Sakura, "I'll be more than happy to be your friends. To the Girl That Slapped me; I dare you to do it one more time, I fucking _dare_ you." Karin gulped nervously, and adjusted her frames. "And to everyone else; yeah, I'm a scholarship student, and yeah, I may not have money like you guys, but that sure as hell doesn't make me any less of a person! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT! Have I made myself clear? Are there any questions? No? DIDN'T THINK SO! Now, if you all will kindly excuse me, I'm going to see if I get some fucking food into my stomach before I head to class."

With those last words, the blond gently took his schedule back from Tenten and stomped into the cafeteria. The crowd outside of it stood stunned, too taken aback to say anything. Shikamaru smiled lazily and said to Sakura, "I really like that troublesome kid."

The pink hair girl smirked in return, "I do too."

**XOXOXO **

The stick like silhouettes of the Shadow Boys twirled around, side by side behind their curtain. The two flew across their stage in a ballet-like move before landing gracefully into seats behind a desk. The audience could tell that their performers now wore business suits.

_(StaticStaticStaticIKnowWhyTheCagedBirdSingsFizzSoundsStaticFizzzzzzz)_

"My ears are hurting from that horrid noise," Ge-Kun stated candidly.

"_My apologies, my apologies! I think I've fixed the sound, now let's rock n' roolll…!"_

"_From Shadow World News Tonight, heeeeeeeeeeeere's Ka-Kun and Ge-Kun with the six o'clock scoop!" _

Ka-Kun shuffled his papers, "Tonight at Club Demise, popular party spot whose location is kept hush-hush, a fight broke out between a certain famous female rock star and her beloved boyfriend. It is said that the boyfriend pulled out a weapon with which he tried to kill his girlfriend with. However, this rocker chick was able to wrestle the gun away from her lover, shoot, and kill him. In self defense of course…"

Ge-Kun pulled out a handgun and shot off two bullets into the air. The strangled quack of duck was heard as its shadow fell pathetically behind the two newscasters.

"However," Ge-Kun spoke up leering toward Ka-Kun, "there have been rumors that this rocker chick wasn't the one that killed her boyfriend, oh no. Have you heard? Have you heard? Do you know? Do you know? It's murder! Have you heard? Have you heard? Her boyfriend's body went missing after? Can anyone say _suspicious_?"

Ka-Kun cleared his throat, "In other news, there have been testimonies from students that not far from Spokespane Academy, located in the dark depths of the forest…"

Ga-Kun held onto Ka-Kun's arms, "Oh? What is this? What is this? Tell me! Tell me! I want to know! I want to know!"

"…From the dark depths of the forest, ghosts have been spotted—"

Ga-Kun interrupted once more, "Ghosts don't exist! I have a better story, a story I'm sure all of our audience members would just_ love_ to hear." His mouth was right next to Ka-Kun's ear and he licked it mischievously.

"Ano, shadow boys don't exist either, but you don't see me complaining, ne? Anyway, it has been said that these ghosts come out only during the full moon, at the stroke of midnight, and –"

"Oh, that's _so _clichéd! So horror teen movie-esque, so _boring!_ Why doesn't my seduction technique have any effect on you? Ne, listen Ka-Kun, I have an even better story! Ne, ne, listen up everyone! This JUST IN, Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki's SECRETS ARE—"

"_Oops! We've ran out of time! That's all for Shadow News Tonight! Please tune in later tonight for our eleven o'clock special_!"

_(StaticStaticStaticRipMyTongueOutFizzSoundsStaticDoYouReallyWantToKnowFizzzzzzz)_

The maddening shrill laughter of the boys echoed throughout the theater, "_Do you know, do you know, do you know, do you know, doyouknowdoyouknowdoyouknow…?!" _

**XOXOXO**

"…Back to your old habits already, Uchiha? You didn't even bother to hide the marks. Is…is that smoke I smell on you?" Neji Hyuuga inquired as he sat next to his acquaintance (because neither he nor Sasuke felt the need for _friends_).

It was last period Philosophy, a course for which the students were handpicked by Kakashi Hatake himself. It was the only class at Spokespane that he taught and most students considered it an honor to be one of The Chosen.

Neji was rather fond of this class; simulating conversations and thought provoking topics were always brought up and Kakashi treated them like adults, unlike other teachers. The only thing about Kakashi that irritated the Hyuuga to no end was that he was always late. Neji, being the president of Student Council and leader of an assortment of clubs, found tardiness to be an undesirable trait.

Bruises, (that were _not_ from his fight with Uzumaki earlier on in the day), decorated the raven-haired teen's white neck. His lips were swollen and etched with small cuts, as if someone had been gnawing and nipping at them. Sasuke felt itchy again, under the Hyuuga's scrutinizing gaze.

"I smoked, got laid, and used your towel. Can't you tell? Maybe you're not really a genius after all," Sasuke replied in a bored tone, the corner of his mouth twitching into his trademark smirk. Sasuke wouldn't tell Neji that the sex happened in the Hyuuga's bed; he would wait until Neji discovered the discarded condoms and blood for himself.

"I need you to get me out of detention with Anko-sensei," Sasuke added, moments later. Neji glared, "And what makes you so sure I'll do it? Because right now, the answer is coming up a _no_."

"Hn," was the Uchiha's reply, thus ended their conversation. This was what Neji hated most about Sasuke: the silences, grunts, and the impassiveness. Sasuke was unpredictable, beautiful, self destructive, and as venomous as a snake; all those qualities made the Uchiha _dangerous_.

**OOO**

_Scene Six, Take Five: Naruto's Thoughts _

_(reallyconcentratethistimeNaruto-kun!)_

_ACTION!_

_So, Sakura just introduced me to this guy named Rock Lee. He's a year older than us which means he's a grade higher than us; he looks kind of funny…bowl-cut hair and thick eyebrows…but he seems really cool. His smile is blindingly white. I'll just let him keep talking about whatever he's talking about while I think about other things…_

_Sakura's really cute, in a tomboyish way. Hinata's cute, in a shy way. Tenten's cute, in…some way. Ino's cute too, but needs to be a tad less bitchy. At least she isn't as bitchy as that Karin girl. Thank goodness she isn't in this class, too. I wonder why Sakura and Ino argue so much. Seems weird for supposed 'best friends.' _

_Mah, when's Kakashi going to get here, I'm getting twitchy, sitting here and doing nothing…Shikamaru says he's late every day. Hm. Shikamaru isn't so bad, he's a lazy smartass, but it's all good. Kiba's actually pretty cool, and so is Chouji. I should get them back for that lake stunt, however, kukukukukuku…_

_Fuck, Sasuke's in this class too; all of the girls are like, drooling over him….wow, I'm getting some pretty violent impulses here. I feel like smashing his fucking face in, and then breaking all of his bones, and then chopping him up with a knife…torture him until he stops fuckin' around and says he remembers me…! Damn, I need a therapist or something…_

…_Ew, Sai's in here too. Oh…and he's drawing in sketchbook. He draws? Mou, what's with those marks all over his neck…are those scratches I see on his face and hands…? He didn't have those this morning…weird…_

…_WHAT?! TANUKI-CHAN AND HAKU ARE IN HERE AS WELL?! _

_Hm…why are both sitting by themselves? Haku looks very…lonely…and Tanuki-chan has no facial expression as usual. Well, I've got to do something about this….right after I ask someone what Tanuki-chan's real name is; he might kill me or something if I keep calling him Tanuki-chan…almost did by pushing me out of a tree after all…_

_END SCENE_

**OOO**

_Scene Seven, Take One: Naruto (and Lee) Take Action_

_(comeonlet'sgetthisrightthefirsttimeGO!) _

_ACTION!_

"Y'know, Gaara's just antisocial, and Haku's just…a transvestite. There's nothing you can do about it," Kiba said knowingly. It had always been that way and the dog-lover couldn't understand why Naruto would want to go and befriend people like them anyway.

"Well, I think what Naruto wants to do is most admirable! I shall accompany him on his youthful quest to obtain friendship!" Lee stated cheerfully, pumping his fist in the air. Naruto smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Eh, you don't really have to Lee, I mean…"

"Nonsense! I insist! Let us go forth and help those in need!!!" The overly-enthusiastic teenager grabbed one of Naruto's arms and pulled the blond teen across the classroom to where the cross-dressing Haku sat. The feminine brunet looked up from the book he was about to start reading and smiled, "Ah, Naruto, so we meet again..."

"I am so glad you know of Naruto! I am Rock Lee and the both of us were wondering why someone so youthful and kind-hearted as yourself is sitting alone! Together, we came to the conclusion that you should come and join our group of friends!" Lee announced, suddenly doing what Tenten had described as his "Nice Guy Pose."

Naruto laughed sheepishly, "Yeah, basically what he said…uh, will you...?"

"…I suppose I can accept your offer. How could I resist such handsome young men?" Haku replied, his smile growing warmer. Naruto and Lee both blushed lightly.

Inner!Naruto sobbed tearfully, _He's TOO damn pretty, even prettier than most girls I've seen so far…it's not fair!_

"One down, one more to go!" Lee crowed as he dragged Naruto over to where Gaara sat, staring straight ahead.

"Hey, tanu…I mean, Gaara! Sorry about how the fight broke out earlier today. I was attempting to make you speak when things got out of control. How lucky am I to have another class with you! It's destiny, I'm telling you! Anyway, Lee and I were just wondering if you'd—"

"No," Gaara said, in a final sort of tone. Lee was prepared to take a shot when Kakashi finally walked into class with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a McDonald's bag in the other.

"Please take your seats, I'm here now. Sorry I'm late you guys; you see, I ran into a black cat and then…"

"_Liar_," Sakura hissed, "the biggest one I've ever seen." The silver haired man gave a light chuckle.

"YOU DO THIS _EVERY DAY_, I mean, if you're going to come back with fast food you might as well bring some to share, we're not a big class," Chouji said indignantly while Kiba nodded in agreement.

Sai tore his eyes away from his sketch book and smiled at the chubby brunet, "No, but you are a rather _big_ person, fatass."

"Hey, why don't you just mind your own damn business," Shikamaru interjected, jumping to Chouji's defense. Kakashi sighed as he walked to the front of his class and placed his things down on his desk, "Enough. Save that crap for outside of my class. Now Sai, define for me the meaning of philosophy, since you're feeling so talkative today. It'll be a nice way to start off the remainder of our class."

"Philosophy is the discipline concerned with questioning how one should live, what sorts of things exist and what are their essential natures, what counts as genuine knowledge, and what are the correct principles of reasoning," Sai recited, looking as if he had said it a thousand times before.

"Aa, very good, very good. Now today will be easy. We're going to have a little class discussion about something I like to call love. New kid, you start. Let's see if I made the correct decision in letting you into my class."

Naruto pointed to himself and mouthed, 'Me?' to which Kakashi nodded and said, "Yes, you."

Naruto began to feel just little nervous and a little sick. "Love is…love…is…well, I believe in love. True love means you feel affection for a person and you care about them a lot and never want to have them out of your life…no human can survive without being loved. Whether it be by friends, family, girlfriends or boyfriends…if they aren't loved, they'll be damaged. Maybe. People are different. Sometimes…you've got to work get that love, that respect, but it should be worth it in the end…err…yeah…"

"…_If you have a family, then why are you here? This is a place for kids with no parents. My parents are dead." _

"_Stupid, it's because I ran away from home." _

_Naruto whacked his friend on the back of his head, "I'm not stupid, you're stupid! You're the one who ran away from your family! They must be worried sick! Why did ya leave?" _

_The dark-haired boy looked down, playing with the blades of grass, "I…I can't remember." The moon child pursed his lips and wrinkled his forehead before looking Naruto in the eyes, "Let's make a promise," he said with determination._

_The blond tilted his head, "What kind of promise?" _

"…_That I can be your family. Since you don't have one. I've always wanted a stupid brother my age to boss around." The dark-haired boy smirked. Naruto stood up from their spot underneath the oak tree, "No way, it's going to be the other way around, jerk! I'll boss you around, Sasuke!" _

"_That's if you can catch me, idiot," the other replied, smiling as he stood up and started to run off, Naruto grinning as he chased after him…_

"Thank you for your input, Naruto, you may stop spacing out and drooling on your desk any time now. Any other takers? No…? How about you Gaara, you haven't spoken in awhile…" The blond glared at the masked teacher before sighing and pondering why he was thinking about the bastard who claimed not to remember him. But any logical thoughts were halted by Gaara's monotone voice.

"No one can love a person more than that person loves him or herself. I only love myself and live for…myself."

". . . That's a very interesting point there, thank you for sharing," Kakashi said pleasantly.

_Oh my God this guy is SCARY as SHIT, why does Naruto want to be his friend again?_ Kiba Inuzuka thought, shivering.

"Wow that sounded extremely emo. He needs to get laid,"Ino whispered to Sakura, twirling a strand of blonde hair in her fingers. The pink-haired tomboy raised an eyebrow, "Would you sleep with him, Ino-pig?"

Ino nodded, "Totally, forehead girl, if I wasn't so madly in love with Sasuke and if it wasn't for the fact that he'd probably kill me." Sakura snorted, "You're hopeless, piggy."

_Is that what the tattoo on his forehead really means? He only loves himself…? _Naruto thought, frowning to himself. _Maybe no one cares about him, like me…no wonder why I feel all spiritually connected and shit to him…Gaara…_

Lee's voice rambled on in the background, disproving Gaara's theory with rambles of youth, passion, and precious people.

**XXX**

"…Gah? What? I must have heard incorrectly, did you say you wanted to go to your _school_? But…but, didn't you say you were heading off to Paris for vacation…? To get away from all the press and stress…?!"

"Tch, I just said that to lead the paparazzi off. School's a good place to hide for now; it's practically in the middle of nowhere. Get my private airplane ready at once; we're leaving tonight, right after my concert…oh, don't give me _that_ look! It's been awhile since I've seen you-know-_who_. He must miss me so badly!" A smile appeared on full, moist lips as peach-colored hands applied heavy purple lipstick carefully onto those lips.

The man standing behind his boss gave a curt bow, "As you wish," before leaving his master's sumptuous room.

The lipstick was set down. "Next is…." A hand reached for face powder as the other speed dialed a number on a cell phone. The phone on the other side rang a few times before it was picked up. The call was placed on speaker phone as peach-tinted hands carefully applied powder to their owner's face.

"_Hello…?_"

"Hey, Tsunade, it's _me_…guess what…?"

**XXX End Act XXX **

Zana: Chapter completed! Gee, I wonder which person and animal will be coming up next, for the chapter title? (giggle) Only two more chapters to go before the introductory arc's over! Then we'll be able to move onto the good stuff! I can't wait! Sorry folks, no bonus act this chapter; it was a pretty long chapter after all.

Sai: (snorts) As if I would have want to come near Uchiha… (squicks)

Sasuke: As if I would even want to come near my crappy replacement boy. (smirk)

Zana: Sorry to say boys, but it's practically canon! (points to manga chapter 347)

Sai and Sasuke: (steal manga and gape)

_After ten minutes…_

Sasuke: I need to have a little discussion with this Kishi-san and his intent with this _supposedly_ shonen manga…I'd rather be with the dobe then Sai. And what the hell is up with _Team Hebi_? _Karin_? I'd have Sakura over her any day…

Sakura: Too bad I don't want you anymore Sasuke-kun. (latches onto Naruto's arm)

Zana: Naru-kun's cheating on you with a variety of people Uchiha. You shouldn't have left such a pretty blond with a bunch of horny ninja guys and girls!

Naruto: (nods) Yeah, yeah! Do you know how much Sai sexually harasses me per day? A LOT! (pout)

Sai: (smiles)

Sasuke: (twitch)

Zana: Make sure to **read and review**! Until the next chapter!

_Ja ne!_


	4. Act Four: Neji, The Crane

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-16.

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages (around 16.) And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARUSasuNaru** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_And many thanks to the lovely, wonderful __**Miss shy7cat**__, my awesome beta/friend. I think she already knows how I pretty much worship her,'nuff said._

_And thanks a lot to the reviewers! No, Kakashi and Genma are NOT the Shadow Boys, but keep on guessing, they ARE characters in Naruto. I drop plenty of hints in the story. Special prize goes out to the winner (or at least someone who gets close)._

_This is a LONG chapter; love me for it, please? Show your love with REVIEWS! So many hits and story alerts (points to those people accusingly) and so little reviews…_

**Spokespane Trivia, Part One**

_Starring Sakura Haruno and Kiba Inuzuka_

_(You two are going live in three, two, one…!)_

Sakura: (sitting on a stage and speaking into a microphone; a white screen hangs in the background) Welcome to Spokespane Trivia, Part One! Today Kiba and I will be sharing some facts and tidbits about our lovely school that Miss Zana, the authoress, is too damn lazy to write in herself! So Kiba, why don't you start us off?

Kiba: (sitting across from Sakura, also speaking into a microphone) Gladly Haruno. Um, let's see…Spokespane Academy was founded by the first headmaster, also known as the First Hokage. His motto for the school was, "Excellence and tradition gives birth to strong minds." Since then, we've had four different Hokages. The Fourth Hokage is the most famous, but the most mysterious of all the Hokages. Headmistress Tsunade is the first female Hokage the school's ever had…a very hot one at that…scary, but hot…

Sakura: (glare) _AHEM_, getting a bit off topic there…

Kiba: (flinch) Right! So, um, our campus is pretty damn big, which is to be expected of a prestigious school located in the middle of nowhere. Well, it isn't exactly the middle of nowhere. It's more of like…in the middle of a forest. And there's this awesome lake nearby as well; the lake is the place to be when you're sneaking out of school. Let's see…on the weekends, when there are no classes, all of the kids with cars drive down to Konoha, the nearest city, to have fun and stuff. Only seniors are allowed to go down by themselves; the rest of us need a guardian, but if you get _Kakashi _to agree to be your 'guardian' then it's like not having a guardian at all!

Sakura: (smiles) Indeed, now let's talk about how the schedules for students look around our parts… (stands up, returns with a projector, and flicks on) Hey…nothing's showing on the screen…the hell? CHA! (karate chops projector) Haha! I got it to work!!! (victory pose)

Kiba: (makes a face while thinking) Damn this girl is weird… (aloud) Oh, and here's an interesting fact about the bunch of us: we all have a good amount of Japanese in our family lines! I wouldn't be surprised if our great, great, great ancestors were related or something…or are they? I know I learned this in World History class…

Sakura: You're hopeless Inuzuka, _hopeless_…and now…!

_A Typical Spokespane Student's Schedule_

**Waking/Breakfast/Morning Time Things**: 5:30 A.M. to 7:00 A.M.

**Classes**: 7:15 A.M. to 2:00 P.M. (Lunchtime: 12:00 P.M. to 12:30 P.M.)

**Free Time**: From 2:00 P.M. to 3:00 P.M. (An hour given to students to allow them to start on homework, go to club meetings, attend detention, tutoring, take a snooze, ect.).

**Sports**: 3:00 P.M. to 4:30 P.M. (Every student attending Spokespane Academy must sign up and participate in an after school sport, it's a part of getting full credit for Physical Education).

**Relaxation Time**: 5:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M. (During this time students can take strolls around campus, hang in the library, eat dinner, head back to their dorms and complete homework, attend club meetings, watch TV., hang in their common rooms, visit friends and more).

**Bed Time/Sneak Out Time**: 9:30 P.M. to 10:00 P.M. (This is when Room Advisors check their dorms to make sure that everyone's getting ready for bed/in bed and sometimes even search the rooms for any…unwanted things. At exactly 10 o'clock it's lights out. At 10 o'clock is also when students prepare to sneak out of their rooms).

Sakura: (turns projector off) As you can see, a student's schedule is balanced not only to keep us healthy, but stress-free and hard working as well, wouldn't you agree Inuzuka?

Kiba: (snorts) The only thing I like about our schedules is the sneaking out…and sometimes sports. Hey, aren't you playing girl's lacrosse this year Haruno?

Sakura: I am! What's more fun than getting to beat the living shit out of people with sticks? (grin) Aren't you playing soccer?

Kiba: Yeah, what's more fun than getting to kick balls into people's faces? (bigger grin)

Ino: (runs onstage with a microphone) Hey forehead girl, how dare you forget to mention the fact that the oh-so-sexy Sasuke does track? Mmm, he looks so _delicious_ when he runs with no shirt on, all sweaty and manly…! (squeals)

Sakura: Ino you pig, get your FAT self off of my stage before I kick you off!

Ino: I'd like to see you and your glistening FOREHEAD try! (both girls bicker)

Kiba: (sweat drops) Erm, so let's get back to talking about the school! We're a high school so we only have grades 9 through twelve occupying the building. But there aren't really that many students around since our school is so hard to get into! You'd have to score really high on an exam or something to get a scholarship here! Hm…that's strange because Uzumaki doesn't _look_ all that smart to me...well, anyway, its November now and we're getting closer and closer to Thanksgiving Break! The weather's getting cooler and the leaves are falling! November is also time for our annual Thanksgiving Fest here at Spokespane! Basically, us students decorate this crappy school, have the cafeteria turned into a grand dining hall, and have our families come over on Thanksgiving to spend time with us in some terrible attempt at family-student-teacher bonding. I wish our school would be normal and let us…y'know…_GO _home during Thanksgiving? But whatever…

Sakura: (finally kicks Ino off of the stage) Bitch, I WIN! (laughs evilly) Hey, Naruto, make sure to take notes on these things, you have to know all this if you're going to be in our school, ne?

Naruto: (is the only one sitting in the audience holding a notebook and pen) Y…y…yeah…of course…Sakura-chan… (is scared)

Zana: (feebly walks onstage) Erm, you guys, can we start the start the chapter now?

Kiba: (hides behind Zana) Please do, I think she's growing more violent by the second…she must be turning into a man or something, flat-chested and wearing the guy's uniform and all…

Sakura: WHAT WAS THAT INUZUKA?! (smiles sweetly with a demonic aura)

Zana: And now, without further ado, the NEJI chapter! All hail pretty boys with girlishly long flowing hair! And yay for me getting to make NejNej SUFFER! I mean…have a _special_ intro…

Neji: (glares) I hate you.

Kiba: (yells out a string of curse words) HARUNO'S _GOING TO KILL ME…!_

**Masquerade**

**Act Four: Neji, the Crane**

"…Oh, and Neji-kun? Won't you be a dear and deliver this folder to the main office, while you're on your way?"

A genial smile. "Of course, Anko-sensei, the pleasure would be all mine."

Neji Hyuuga took the manila folder from his teacher's hand before walking away from her classroom and down the hallway. He tossed a few polite nods and waves toward fellow students and teachers alike as he passed them. Though he was only a sophomore, Neji had already gained the admiration and respect of the entire school. He was a Hyuuga, after all, and all the Hyuugas who attended Spokespane hadn't been anything less than outstanding, all of them heading off to ivy-league colleges after graduation.

It was often whispered amongst the faculty how much _better _Neji was than his cousin, the shy, stuttering Hyuuga Heiress Hinata, and that was _good_. Neji wanted to be _the best_; he wanted to be _perfect_…Wanted to believe that he could escape his treacherous fate if he worked hard enough.

It was with that very fate that Sasuke frequently blackmailed him.

_Sasuke stood before the doorway to the now empty Philosophy classroom, trapping Neji inside of it. The Uchiha's lips were curved into a flawless, condescending smirk. Neji managed to keep his expression blank, "What do you want Uchiha, you're in my way." _

"_Out of detention with Anko. Make up a lie, fuck her for all I care, just do something so I won't get a penalty for not showing up. All the teachers kiss your ass. There are a still a few who won't kiss mine." _

"_The answer is no Uchiha; I won't let things be like they were last year. I'm not going to let you take me down with you. You can't control me." _

"_Oh really?" The raven-haired beauty shoved both hands deep into the pockets of his black pants and leaned forward, so close that his nose and forehead pressed against the Hyuuga's. Neji was still not intimidated, though. _

_(His body said otherwise; heart pounding, mouth drying, holding breath, holding that always warm, supple body…) _

"…_I know what you do. Did you really think you could hide it? I wonder what your worshippers would think of you if they ever found out. It's a bit sick, isn't it Hyuuga? I bet you get all kinds of thrills looking and thinking, 'How wrong. How similar.' I bet you get a twisted rush out of—"_

"_I'll get you out of the detention Uchiha," Neji stated blandly, before anything else could be said. He hated being reminded of what he already knew... The belittling smirk on Sasuke's face faded until his usual mask of apathy was settled back into place. He stepped to the side, allowing Neji the freedom to (escape) leave. _

"…_I never promised the bird a rose garden…" _

_Neji paled dramatically at Sasuke's parting words. Sasuke sauntered away. _

Neji held the folder close to his chest and gripped its edges tightly. His fingers trembled. The brunet took a deep breath before regaining his composure and heading in the direction of the least-visited restroom. After he vomited, he would continue on his way to the main office.

**XXX**

"Sai! What the…? _Oh…!_"

Open jars of paint, brushes, and buckets of water covered the floor; used brushes lay soaking in the water. Crumpled balls of paper, golden fall leaves, and dead tree branches also took up space in the room. The artist himself sat cross-legged in the middle of the room, wrist limp as he cradled a narrow paintbrush in his elegant fingers, the black tip of which was covered in rich red paint. Sprawled across Sai's canvaswas the most dazzling piece of artwork Naruto had ever seen in his sixteen years of life.

"Wow, that picture's really good; I didn't know you had_ talent_…!"

"I'm talented at _many _things, Dickless. How was your detention with Anko-sensei?"

The blond traveled over to his messy side of the room, avoiding the random bits and pieces of Sai's project, before dropping his messenger bag onto his bed. He began to loosen his orange tie.

"Stop calling me that you weird bastard…and man oh man did detention _suck ass_! Sensei made me sit at my desk with my hands flat on the surface and my feet planted to the ground the entire time! I had to take a piss and she wouldn't let me go! And…and she like, threatened me with a _kunai_! I mean, _who_ does that? Crazy sadistic woman…AND can you _believe_ that bastard Sasuke didn't even bother to show up? When I tried to ask sensei about it she just said that Sasuke was 'excused.' Talk about UNFAIR…!"

"Uchiha's got Neji Hyuuga on his side. Neji can get _anyone_ out of minor punishments."

"Little popular asshole. He always gets his way," Naruto grumbled, throwing his blazer on the floor before unbuttoning the white shirt he wore underneath it. Sai licked his lips.

"You sound like you know Sasuke-kun," the artist pointed out, adding a few finishing touches to his art homework, a realistic painting of two powerful dragons battling each other to the death. He was running out of red; there was a lot of blood being shed in the painting.

"…I do, but—"

There was a sudden pounding on their closed door.

"Yo, Naruto, are you ready for sports yet? We've only got five minutes to get to the soccer field! Coach Gai will have a fit if we aren't there on time!"

Blue eyes glanced over at the clock sitting on his nightstand, "Oh crap…! I'll be out in just a sec Kiba…! I forgot I said I'd head to practice with him in philosophy…erm, Sai, shouldn't you be getting ready for your sport?"

"I'm not ready to leave yet. I suppose I'll just be late for practice today."

And then Sai buried himself back into his artwork. Naruto wanted to ask about the random scratches dotting Sai's skin, but decided against it, figuring that he would inquire at a later time. After heading to the bathroom for a quick change (he'd noticed the looks his roommate was shooting his way earlier) the blond grabbed his duffle bag, said goodbye to his roommate, and left the room. Sai listened to the chattering, noisy voices of Naruto and Kiba float into the room from the hallway fade slowly until quiet took over once more.

It felt a bit empty.

**XXX**

Tenten smiled proudly as Ino took her lacrosse stick in hand and eyed its silver handle and blue laced head with yellow strings.The blonde athlete nodded appreciatively, cradling the stick back and forth, "Wow, this is a nice stick, must have been super expensive, I bet. I'm _so_ jealous! It doesn't have a pouch within it yet, though. You should probably loosen the strings a bit or else you won't be able to catch _anything_ with it…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, now give me my stick back so I can do it before practice starts!" The brunette grumbled, taking her stick back from Ino and plopping down onto the freshly cut grass, fiddling with the straw-like strings. Sakura stared blankly at a few other girls from the team, bored. They huddled together, whispering, as their antisocial team manager walked onto the field, standing out dramatically with his vivid red hair and plain brown jacket.

_That's smart of Gaara…it is getting cooler outside. Soon we'll have to resort to practicing indoors…way to go Haruno for wearing the shorts and T-shirt. Note to self: wear sweatpants tomorrow. That reminds me…_

The pink-haired girl jogged over to the manager and offered him a small smile, "Hey, I was just wondering, do you know when our new uniforms should be arriving?"

Aquamarine eyes coated in black eyeliner looked away from the clipboard they were reading from and focused on Sakura's face. The girls stretching and playing around with their sticks stopped and stared at the interaction between the two, expecting Gaara to snap at any moment and sacrifice Sakura's dead body to the Devil.

Gaara stared at the pink-haired girl for a few seconds before curtly (semi-pleasantly? Who knew with Gaara…) replying, "Beginning of January."

Sakura thanked him before jogging back over to her friends. A few of the freshman players stared at the older girl in a mixture of awe and fascination. Ino frowned at all the attention Sakura was getting and grabbed the pinkette's arm to get her attention, "Hey, let's practice some throwing and catching. I have a few fast balls that could rip through your net!"

Green eyes flashed, accepting the challenge, "You're on! I bet I'll capture anything you throw at me." The pretty blonde smirked at her friend's confidence.

_Forehead girl, since when were you so confident and popular…? You don't need me anymore like you used to_…

Her smirk faltered behind Sakura's back.

_**OOO**_

"Oi, it looks like it's going to rain or something; the clouds are so dark," Kiba commented, head tilted upward as he observed the swollen grey clouds gathering in the sky above.

"Stop staring at the sky and focus on kicking your ball, we're behind everyone else!" Naruto panted; sweat trickling down his tanned flesh. Cerulean blue eyes stared down in between his legs where the black and white soccer ball rolled lazily along the short grass. In the distance, both boys could hear the passionate shouts of their soccer coach, Gai (also known as Rock Lee's idol/biggest fan), encouraging them to use their youth to the fullest and show the ball who was boss.

Kiba snorted. "You're over exaggerating, we're in the middle of everyone," he pointed out obnoxiously.

"Yeah, yeah, but _I _want to be in the front, so let's pick up the pace!" The two boys broke into a sprint, dribbling their separate balls ahead of them, soon making it to the front of the team. The blond babbled on happily about random topics while Kiba listened half-heartedly, wondering where in the world Naruto was finding the breath to speak as they dribbled their balls around their huge field a ninth time. Coach Gai finally blew his whistle and told his team that they had a three-minute water break. The older man then walked off the playing field and onto the track that surrounded it in order to pester his precious Lee for those three minutes.

Naruto chugged down his water, letting out a soft sigh afterward as he poured some over his head and shook the remaining water off. He glanced over to where the track team were stretching their long, stick-thin legs (the exception being Lee, who was now giving a thumbs up Coach Gai) when his eyes settled upon Sasuke Uchiha. The track coach seemed to be discussing something with him, the dark-haired teenager simply giving him an uninterested look, nodding once in awhile to show that he was listening.

_There was a man with long, silky black hair tied back in a ponytail. He had two lines that ran down his face from the inner corners of his eyes, making him appear older than he really was. His eyes were equally as dark as his hair and held no hint of kindness within their depths. He stood in the doorway of the playroom expectantly. Naruto felt wary of this man; Sasuke's lips were a thin straight line. He put down his toys and stood. One of the ladies that worked at the orphanage, Miss Jones, cooed the young raven-haired boy's name, and took his hand. Something in young Naruto cracked. _

"…_Wait! Sasuke…! Sasuke you jerk, where are you going? Are you…are you leaving me…?!" _

_Sasuke did not turn his head to look back. He didn't acknowledge Naruto at all as he stood beside the dark-haired man. They looked alike. Could he have been Sasuke's father, maybe? His brother? _

"_What about the promise? You said I could be your brother, because I didn't have a family…! Sasuke…! Why aren't you saying…saying…anything…Sasuke…! SASUKE!" _

_Naruto did not care that he was misbehaving now; he did not care that he was throwing toys and screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing a terrible temper tantrum. _

_A lot of adults rushed into the room and held Naruto down, preventing him from running over to Sasuke. They were worried that Naruto would try to hurt the Uchiha. _

_The minutes after seemed to occur in slow motion: Sasuke turning around with the older man's hand squeezing his shoulder. Naruto shouting his name. Sasuke turning. Sasuke walking away. Naruto ignoring the burn of tears at the back of his eyes. Sasuke gone. Naruto calming down. Naruto realizing that Sasuke had a family somewhere that loved him, tucked him in bed at night, and kissed his boo-boos. Naruto thinking that he was going to find Sasuke someday, strike him in the face, and become his older brother and keep their promise. Sasuke was gone. _

_Time since then had sped up considerably. _

"Naruto…Naruto? HEY!"

The blond blinked twice before staring at his friend, "Oh…sorry about that, I was just thinking. Erm, so, I see Sasuke-teme runs. I bet he's the God of Track, just like he's the god of every other frickin' thing. What sports do the others play?"

"Actually, Lee's the fastest one on the team. But everyone still praises Uchiha just because he's an Uchiha and they downplay Lee's coolness. Coach Gai would rather have Lee on the soccer team, but Lee wants to stay on track. He doesn't want to 'lose' to Uchiha, y'know? Haruno, Tenten, and Ino play girl's lacrosse; all three of them are really good at it. Hinata's on the swim team. You wouldn't be able to tell by the loose clothing she often wears, but Hina's got a rockin' body…"

Naruto smirked, "It sounds like you like her! You should go after her; she's not only cute but really nice!"

Kiba made a face as he took another sip out of his water bottle, "I would if it wasn't for Neji Hyuuga. He'd cut off my balls if I ever tried to date his precious cousin, plus, I _think_…well, anyway, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Shino play golf."

This time, Naruto made a face, "Golf is a _sport_?"

"…Yeah it is. It's the one sport where Shikamaru can stand there and not do too much 'troublesome movement.' He sucks at it though, and so does Chouji. Shino's a pro, however."

"…Who's this Shino kid? I haven't met him yet…"

"He's my roommate. One of the quiet antisocial types. He's into bugs…keeps a collection of them in our room. He has pet worms and spiders." Naruto pulled a sympathetic expression, patting Kiba's shoulder, "I feel for ya man, I really do. Have you tried telling him that his bugs are _disgusting_?"

"…Well…no. He might get his ticks to give me Lyme disease or something. And I think the bugs keep Akamaru company when I'm away."

"And who is Akamaru?"

Kiba let out a scandalized gasp, "Who _doesn't_ know who _my_ Akamaru is?! He's only the greatest dog in the entire _universe_!" The blond soccer player blinked, "…You keep a dog in your room? Can't you get in trouble for that? Does he keep quiet? How big is he?"

"Akamaru's still a pup. Kakashi knows about him and everyone in our dorm agreed to keep it secret from the Headmistress. Kakashi says as long as Akamaru behaves he doesn't care. Anyway, let's get back to sports. Your roommate's on the tennis team now. He used to be a male cheerleader…but he insulted all of the girls and dropped them on purpose. So he got switched to tennis. I think his rudeness distracts his opponents and allows him to win. That Haku kid does cheerleading; it's creepy how _good _he is at it. Hyuuga's the captain of the fencing team, just like he's the leader of _everything_ else. Finally, there's that Gaara kid. He's the only one that gets out of doing a sport because he manages the girl's lacrosse team. He's a lucky bastard…"

While Kiba spoke, a plan was fabricated within Naruto's mind. It began to play within his imagination as a special screening at his own mental movie theater…

_Naruto's Inner Mind Theater_

_(shhhh!let'sgetaseatrealquickthemovie'sabouttostartKa-kun!)_

"_I, the wonderfully handsome, cool as ice, amazing and wonderful, Naruto Uzumaki challenge the bastard, Sasuke Uchiha, to a race around the track! The winner rules the school!" Girls (and boys) held their hands to their head as they swooned from the mere sound of Naruto's undeniably sexy, sultry voice._

"_Whatever d…d…dobe, I accept! I refuse to submit to you!" Said Sasuke Uchiha, his bottom lip trembling as he bit it, glaring at Naruto childishly._

_A close up of their faces were shown on the movie screen; in the background, Shikamaru's voice could be heard saying in a breathless tone, "He's so troublesome, it's hot." The normally emotionless Gaara had hearts dancing around in his eyes, "Why ever did I push such a hunky Sex God out of a tree? I'm so foolish!" _

_The screen flickered and the scene changed to show a confident-looking Naruto and a scared-looking Sasuke both standing at the starting line. Everyone was cheering Naruto on. Only one person cheered for Sasuke. It was that Neji guy, but he wasn't even very enthusiastic about it. _

_Hinata (wearing a swimsuit) held a red flag in her hands, blushing, "Good luck…Na…Naruto-kun! On…on...your marks…get set…g…g…GO!" _

_Naruto ran in slow motion, the breeze blowing through his golden yellow hair, a smirk playing across his lips. It was like Baywatch, only ten times better. Sasuke was far behind him, wheezing and huffing with each step. Naruto ran all around the track and finished in record time, a time much faster than even Lee's! The crowd went wild! Neji ditched Sasuke and became a Naruto cheerleader. Gaara begged Naruto to be his bestest friend ever. Girls (and boys) wanted to date him. They even made a national holiday for him, entitled Ramen Day. _

…_And Sasuke admitted to being Naruto's first bestest friend ever/younger brother and apologized for being a major asshole. Gaara and Neji got into steamy fight, over Naruto, of course. Then they all lived happily ever after. _

_FIN_

_(bravobravoencoreencoreletswatchitagainKa-kun!)_

The blond snapped out of his daydream, questioning his sexuality once again before shaking his head and smirking, excitement bubbling pleasantly inside of him. Kiba Inuzuka found his voice being drowned out by Naruto's loud, higher pitched one as the hyperactive teen suddenly called Sasuke out in front of the entire soccer, track, and cheerleading team (who were in the middle of running through a dance routine nearby).

"_Hey teme!_ Let's have a race around the track, just you and me, right now! Loser becomes the winner's _bitch _for a week! "

Kiba choked on his own spit, "Naruto! You're going to make a fool out of yourself! Just 'cause I said Lee was the fastest on the team, doesn't mean Uchiha's the slowest…! He's second place! Do you really want to be Uchiha's bitch?!" All the brunet could see of Naruto was his back as the blond charged over to the track.

"Heh, that's even _better_! Then I can bump the bastard down to _third_ place!"

The brunet pulled at his hair, "You're _insane_ Uzumaki…! _INSANE_!"

Sasuke calmly walked away from his coach and made his way to the starting line, giving Naruto a vacant stare that accepted the blond's challenge. He looked so arrogant; it made Naruto's fingers itch to rip that conceited expression off of the Uchiha's girly face.

Cell phones were whipped out and nimble fingers punched in numbers at a pace only achievable by teenagers; students informing their friends scattered elsewhere across the campus of the daring challenge about to take place. The hyperactive-loser-scholarship-kid-wanting-respect, Naruto Uzumaki vs. bad boy, once-expelled-and-now-mysteriously-returned, Sasuke Uchiha.

It would be quite the match up indeed.

**XOXOXO **

Two shadows in the form of young males sit at a small, candlelit table, both holding up glasses.

"Let us toast," Ka-Kun said, raising his glass higher, "To the fragile condition that is the human spirit." The edges of the two glasses touched and a resounding click echoed through the entire theater. Ge-Kun brought his glass to his face and then stopped, taking two sniffs.

"What is this, what is this, what is this? It smells like…" Ge-Kun murmured

"…And tastes like It so it must Be," Ka-Kun ended, taking a long sip. Ge-Kun took a sip afterwards. Then Ka-Kun drank and then Ge-Kun again, until both boys had finished their glasses.

This time, Ge-Kun lifted his glass in a mock gesture of a toast.

"Do you know, do you know, do you really want to know? Something wicked this way comes."

Ge-Kun threw the glass at Ka-Kun.

"…_Uwhaaaaaaaa_!!! Ge-kun, I'm bleeding, _I'm.._.!"

The flame supported by the miniature pillar of wax was blown out by an inexplicable wind. The lights behind the grand curtain turned off. The audience whispered in confusion; they were surrounded by darkness and it seemed that the shadow boys had disappeared with the light.

And all that could be heard in the theater was the tinkling sounds of shards of glass hitting the wooden stage floor.

**XOXOXO**

Hinata Hyuuga stopped, for one of her white flip flops had fallen off of her foot. The Heiress performed a strange hopping dance as she attempted to get the flip flop back onto her foot.

The swimmer was in a hurry; she did not want to miss the race that she had been text messaged about, courtesy of Ino. She hadn't even bothered to dress properly for the autumn weather, only throwing her swimmer's jacket over her navy blue one-piece bathing suit.

The Heiress had to admit, she found herself developing more than just a simple crush on this new student. His personality was just so out there and _unusual_, in the best kind of way. Most of the guys she knew were mainly Neji types and Sasuke types, guys she met at her family's business parties. Then there were the males she was friends with at school. Kiba was similar to Naruto, but Naruto was _special_. Naruto was her crush and Kiba was her friend and that made all the difference.

_Oh Naruto-kun, I really do hope you win_, Hinata thought, as she began to run again, picking up the pace. The track was in sight now; its red and white lines forming a perfect oval that more or less summed up to one mile. It was swarmed with a mass of athletes and coaches alike.

_Oh dear…_

_**OOO**_

"…I don't understand why he still gets all the attention…when I am much faster than he is…even the lovely Miss Sakura is paying attention to the race…!"

"…Erm, well Sakura's cheering for Naruto, not Sasuke…! You don't need the attention of a million fans Lee, you're a great runner in your own right," Tenten said, patting Lee's slumped shoulder in a consoling manner. Brown eyes wandered over to where her pink-haired friend stood, pumping her fists in the air while shaking her hips, yelling, "Cha! Hell yeah! Damn!" from time to time. The bun-headed girl mentally sighed.

_I doubt Sakura is even going to end up dating anyone Lee…not after what Sasuke did to her. It was too cruel…she may act like she's over him but I get the feeling…_

"Well, then I hope Sasuke-san wins, not Naruto-kun! By wishing that Sasuke-san wins, Naruto-kun will end up wining instead, and then I will have a new rival/friend!" Lee stood up straight, crossed his arms and looked away, an obvious pout on his lips. Tenten leaned on her lacrosse stick and sighed.

_**OOO**_

A smirk.

"Hey dobe, are you going to be a man and keep good on your word?"

A grin.

"Teme…of course I am! I'll beat you so bad; I'll _make_ you remember your promise to me!"

"Che, dumbass. Keep dreaming." The Uchiha crouched into a running position, knees bent, long arms hanging languidly at his sides. Naruto had one foot in front of the other, back hunched over and arms raised, his fingers curled into fists. Coach Genma of the track team chewed casually on his long toothpick. He raised his hand high, a timer held in the other, "You boys ready? On your marks…get set...GO!" His hand sliced downwards…

And they were off.

_**OOO**_

_Naruto's way ahead of Sasuke right now…is it possible that Naruto's actually faster? Or is Sasuke just playing another of his games…? It's hard to tell at this point…_

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, hearing the Sasuke Fan Club boo at the blond and cheer on their dark-haired idol. The cheering and booing abruptly ended, however, when Sasuke stopped halfway through the course and started tying his…shoe. Very slowly. The Sasuke Fans were bewildered as were the Sasuke Haters.

"…What the hell?" Karin blurted out, echoing the majority's thoughts at that moment.

Gaara closed his eyes and turned around; he did not need to see anymore.

_**OOO**_

_I'm going to do it, I'm going to win; there's no way Sasuke-teme can catch up at this point, he's so far away and I am so close…I just need to take a few more steps..._

_The sound of my cleats going tap-tap-tap against the red-colored track, the crisp scent of cool air and my own sweat, the howling of the wind in my ears, my labored breath. It's as if everything has become amplified. _

_I am so close to the end…_

_And I see…_

_A blur zooms past me and the only thing I really catch of that blur is its smirk._

**XXX**

"'I'm sure everyone will forget all about it by tomorrow,' my ass, Sakura-chan! They were still reenacting the whole thing in the hallways today! That bastard…he had to go and make things look worse by stopping and tying his shoe! But do you know what the worst part is? He hasn't said a word to me all _day_, as if nothing happened…!"

The librarian held a finger to her lips, indicating that a certain blond needed to keep his voice down. Said blond laughed sheepishly and apologized, "Sorry m'am…" It was nice enough that the woman was allowing him to eat his beloved ramen in the normally food-free zone of the library; he didn't want that privilege to be taken away.

Shikamaru grimaced as specks of ramen flew out of Naruto's mouth and all over his Advance Placement Calculus homework. The lazy genius growled, "Hey, would it kill you to close your mouth when you chew? So troublesome…and isn't it good that Uchiha isn't paying you any mind? You are supposed to be his slave after all."

"Maybe you ought to be praying that he doesn't pay attention to you for the rest of the year," Chouji added, munching on the end of his pencil.

Shikamaru pulled a face and closed his calculus textbook, "Hey Chouji, I noticed you only had two bites of yogurt for dinner. And you keep chewing on random objects. You must be hungry, I am too. Let's go to the vending machine and get a snack." Without a word of protest about his diet, Chouji stood up and followed Shikamaru to the vending machine just outside the school's library.

Naruto's voice ended the short silence, "…I don't want Sasuke to ignore me the entire year, and I won't _let_ him! We've got a score to settle! So what if I have to do whatever he says for a week? What's the meanest thing he could come up with? Make me follow him around with a giant mirror and tell him he's the most gorgeous angsty creature in the universe every five minutes? Tch—aw crap, I got ramen on my Japanese worksheet…!" He placed the cup of instant noodles (provided to him by Sakura as a 'cheer up' meal) down on the table as he tried to rub out the bits of liquid from his verb conjugations.

"…Hey, Gaara…_wait!_ We need to talk! Damn, since when could you move so quickly?! Stop playing hide and seek with me…!"

A female ran into the library, panting softly as she scanned the area with hard green eyes. Her hair was a dirty blonde and styled, unusually, into four spiky ponytails. Her lips were a bright cherry red; heavy eyeliner, eye shadow, blush, and foundation were all caked onto her features like frosting. But her face was the kind that still looked pretty, even with insane amounts of make-up plastered onto it.

Naruto stared at the woman in admiration as he observed her clothing: a spiked choker, skull earrings, a nose piercing, tons of bracelets and other punk rocker accessories, a corset that matched the color of her eyes, a long rainbow colored skirt, and leather combat boots with bright purple laces. She was like a fairy tale princess that got lost in the forest and met a couple of rock stars. Her appearance was all _wrong_ and yet it worked for her. She made it look _right_.

Naruto's jaw went slack and his mind went blank; it _had_ to be…be…!

"HOLY SHIT, GUYS, ITS TEMARI! TEMARI OF THE _FUCKIN'_ SAND! I OWN ALL OF HER ALBUMS! TEMARIIIII-SAMA! HEY, over HERE! HEY! I'm your _biggest_ fan! YOU'RE SO _COOL_!"

Before anyone could stop him, Naruto shot up out of his seat and ran up to the international star, a pen and blank sheet of paper in hand, shaking with fervor. His cerulean eyes were wide and sparkling with adoration and worship. Temari looked down at the fan boy and arched an eyebrow.

_He must be new here…no one in this school's reacted to me that way in a long time…_

"Temari-sama…can…can I get your autograph? I like, love, all of your songs, especially 'Kiss Me Dead' and 'Mommy Dearest' and—"

Temari pushed the fan boy out of her way as she spotted a head of red hair stepping out from the shadows of the non-fiction bookshelves.

The librarian shot a warning look at Temari and Naruto who both apologized hastily. Naruto watched as his musical goddess shoved past him and walked over to his tanuki-chan, pulling him into a hug. Gaara appeared as if he wanted to slaughter her, shoving her away rudely and glaring fit to kill.

"…Temari," the red head stated mildly, a hint of warning in his tone.

The blonde rock star smirked, "Baby brother. It looks like my idiot of a younger twin hasn't been taking care of you like I've instructed."

Naruto's brain exploded. He suddenly remembered the article he read on Temari's personal life awhile back. She had two younger brothers, one of which was her twin, Kankuro and the other…Her youngest brother's name was Gaara. His friend Gaara was the youngest brother of his music idol. All three of the Suna siblings were in this very building at this very moment…

_Guh…and Temari…touched me…! I must have died and went to heaven…!_

"...Should we go and save Uzumaki before he dies from either the Suna sibs or fan boy overload?" Kiba quipped as he and the others watched the entertaining scene unfolding in front of him. Shikamaru, who had long since returned with junk food and Chouji, shook his head, "Nah. At least, not yet."

"Tanuki-chan! Why didn't you tell me you were related to such an _awesome_ person?! You must be really proud of your sister, ne?" Naruto squealed, flouncing over to Gaara's side, grinning stupidly. Temari looked from the retarded-appearing blond kid to her brother and back to the retarded blond kid.

"…Who the hell are you?"

"Me? Me…? I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Your biggest fan, Temari-sama and Gaara's self-proclaimed best friend _ever_! I never knew you were related to Gaara, though I can see the similarities now…"

"Stay the **fuck** away from my brother, Naruto Uzumaki," Temari whispered fiercely, now glaring at the blond. She snatched his pen and paper, scribbling her name carelessly upon it before dropping both items to the ground, "You've got what you've been sniffing around for, so just go away. Please."

"Rescue time," Kiba murmured as he and Sakura stood up from their table.

"…But…I…is that what you think of me? That I was _pretending_ to be Gaara's friend for your _autograph_? Well you know what?" Naruto bent over to pick up the inked sheet of paper and tore it into bits over the nearest trash can. Temari rolled her eyes, not believing this idiot's cheesy act in the least, as she followed her suddenly moving brother out of the library.

Gaara needed to find a place to think, somewhere that his nosy peers and his prying older sister wouldn't be able to find him.

…_and Gaara's self-proclaimed best friend ever!_

"…_But…I…is that what you think of me? That I was pretending to be Gaara's friend for your autograph?"_

"_**I want to be your friend." **_

"_And do you know why I want to be your friend, Tanuki-chan? It's because you're just like me. I can see it in your eyes. You know like when two people meet and it's all destined and shit? That's us Tanuki-chan. You can't fight fated friendship."_

"_**I want to be your friend." **_

Gaara frowned.

**XXX**

"…I'm…I'm not so sure about this. This place is supposed to be haunted…I'm getting chills all over…"

The boyfriend rolled his eyes and kissed the girlfriend hard on the mouth. The girlfriend felt the bark of the tree dig into her spine and heard the leaves underneath their thick blanket crunch with their every movement. The girlfriend turned her face to the side and panted, seeing her breath clearly in the night air. It was cold out.

"Oh come on, you're being paranoid. There aren't any ghosts in this damned forest, those are just stupid rumors. You're just cold…but I'll warm you up in a minute." The boyfriend smirked and straddled the girlfriend, hands planted firmly on her thin shoulders, kissing her again. A hand slipped away from her shoulder and slid underneath her tight sweater, groping her breasts. The girlfriend blushed and pushed the boyfriend away, "…I know it was my idea to have sex out here, but I want to go back to Spokespane…let's do it somewhere else. I'm really scared…"

"God damn it, I'm in the mood and you have to go and fuck things up with your fears. You can't keep teasing me like this…I swear nothing will happen to you…hey what's _with _you?"

The boyfriend had noticed how the girlfriend's eyes were wide as plates and how she began trembling, whimpering slightly. The boyfriend groaned, turning his lead lazily to see what the girlfriend was freaking out about now.

The boyfriend saw something unearthly and screeched shrilly until his throat went raw and he could taste something familiarly metallic...

**XXX**

Pale, pale lavender eyes blink once as they watch a dark-eyed boy slip a form-fitting shirt over his pale-as-marble chest. Neji wanted to ask where the Uchiha was going this late at night, but chose not to. That was what Sasuke wanted, for Neji to ask. Then he would get Neji _involved_ and he didn't want to get _involved_ at all. The last time he got involved, he almost got caught and could have been expelled along with the Uchiha. Being expelled would have ruined everything that he worked so hard for; would have sent everything he had built crumbling down in pieces.

And so, laying in Sasuke's bed, numb and sated, with vicious scarlet lines running down his narrow hips, the Hyuuga merely watches blankly as the Uchiha disappears out the window. His hate for Sasuke grows and his own inner self-loathing is disregarded.

_Only for tonight…_

**XXX End Act XXX **

**Bonus Act Three: Issues**

In one of their pictures, Sasuke notices Naruto's shirt is untucked. It ruins the whole picture. Sasuke hid the picture somewhere far underneath his bed. He does not touch the picture and denies he ever took such a picture when Naruto pesters him about it.

The picture still lies underneath his bed. Sasuke cannot bring himself to throw it away.

**X**

Sasuke stares at the fork left in the otherwise flawless silver sink within the kitchen. He stares at the noodles attached to the offending fork until he feels someone sneak up behind him.

"What the hell have you been staring at for the past two hours?" "YOUR MESS!!! After I went through the trouble of using a magnifying glass to get the specks of dirt off of the faucet and then you...you...YOU and this...this crap with the fork? You and your damned ramen are destroying my house-!" At this point, Sasuke is hyperventilating and shaking. Naruto shakes his head and ends all of his lover's antics with a gentle, firm kiss.

"You're so cute teme. Let me screw your brains out and make you feel all better." Shouts of, "I don't want to have sex with you...NARUTO!!! But...but I just fixed the bed sheets, we'll wrinkle them and get stuff all over-!" could be heard loudly and clearly throughout the Uchiha's home. Itachi smiles to himself as he bites into an apple. He is glad to know that his precious baby brother is with someone like Naruto.

**X**

Sasuke's eye twitches. He hates his therapist with a passion because Sai likes to wear belly shirts with one of the sleeves not going all the way down his arm like a normal shirt should. Sai makes Sasuke feel twitchy. He hates Itachi a bit more for forcing him to see Sai two times a week. "Were you raped when you were younger?" Sai asks, smiling as if rape is like candy and sunshine, "For I believe some type of severe childhood trauma is the source to all of your issues." Sasuke chooses not to say a word because then he is able to pretend that Sai and his abnormal, _wrong,_ clothing style does not exist.

**X**

"...Please teme? Pretend it's a lollipop." "I don't want to. Dobe, you know I hate sweets." "Why not?" "Because..." Sasuke blushes and squirms on his knees. He shuts his eyes tightly, "You…you…you _know_, from there…it's gross." "You're such a prude. I suck your cock, and it tastes damn _good_ to me. Don't be such a chicken, teme." Sasuke glares darkly (for he cannot resist challenges) as he wraps his fingers around it and licks. The moan Naruto makes is most gratifying.

**X**

Naruto's heart almost jumps out of his ribcage as he slaps the scissors out of Sasuke's hand. With the Uchiha's pale wrist exposed and hanging limp over the dirty school sink; the blond was well aware of what his boyfriend was attempting to do. "Let me go dobe." "Not on your life teme." _Slap._ The pain spreads across Sasuke's cheek like a blossoming rose. "Ever try that shit again and I swear I'll break _both_ of your hands as a way of stopping you." "Why the fuck do you care so much? I know I just annoy the hell out of you! It's not my fault I can't be normal, stop pitying me---!" _Slap.  
_  
Sasuke shuts up as Naruto shoves him up against the wall (_ewdirtewdirtheneedsashower_). "And you call me stupid; I like you just the way you are. Crazy and cute," Naruto growls and kisses Sasuke with such force that it takes his breath away and chases any thoughts of cutting off of a cliff.

**X**

Sasuke doesn't like hanging out with his 'friends'; they make him hyperventilate. As he sits at the cafeteria table with them, he notices _things_. Like the way Kiba sneezes all over his hands and how Shino shares his meal with ants. Like the way Chouji chews with his mouth open and the way small specks of spit flitter in the air as Sakura and Ino argue over boy bands. Sasuke then realizes something terrible that he has been trying to ignore for most of his life. There are germs. _Everywhere.  
_

**X**

Itachi puts up with many things, because Sasuke is cute and crazy. But Sasuke's latest fetish for covering their entire home in plastic was taking things a step too far. "_Why_ exactly are you doing this again, Otouto-chan?" "There are germs," Sasuke calmly replies as he wraps plastic around his arms. Itachi pulls out his cell phone and schedules his little brother to see Sai first thing tomorrow morning.

**X**

"...I'm going to prescribe you some medication. Now, now, don't give me _that_ look on your cute little face! The meds will help you feel all better!"Sasuke twitches, gasps, and then faints. Sai tilts his head. He wonders if he can sex the unconscious Uchiha up and get away with it. Then Sai remembers that Neji would cut off his balls if he did. _Damn_.

**X**

Itachi decides to bond with Sasuke. Sai had suggested it to him. _"OTOUTO-CHAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!"_ He glomps, nuzzles, cuddles, spoon feeds, and even bathes (thank goodness Naruto wasn't there to see that) his darling little brother. Sasuke bites Itachi's finger and draws blood. Itachi cries and calls his boyfriend Kisame to come and console him. His friend Orochimaru comes as well, because Orochimaru would like nothing more than to sex up both of the Uchiha brothers. He cheats on Kabuto every chance he gets. But Kabuto stays with him anyway.

**X**

Sasuke calls Naruto when Orochimaru comes over because Orochimaru's tongue is a germ-field just aching to touch his skin. And Orochimaru himself is just _creepy_. Naruto happily whisks Sasuke away from his suffocating abode and takes his neurotic lover back to his place. Sasuke whines and bitches for his plastic wrap, gloves, and disinfectant. Naruto ignores him.

**X**

Naruto realizes that the only way to get through Sasuke sometimes is to fuck him into a coma. This is exactly what he does, despite the fact that Sasuke suffers from a seizure (or something close to it) in the middle and passes out. _Sometimes. _After he climaxes, Naruto curls up next to his unconscious, neurotic lover and falls asleep. Sasuke later wakes up and finds he is face to face with an angelic tanned face. He brushes some of the blond hair away from the angel's face and thinks, _'I can't believe I love this total idiot.' _Sasuke later thinks, _'I hate Naruto, his apartment's going to make me ill.' _

**X**

Naruto wakes up and is shocked to see that he is no longer inside of his home. Naruto blinks a few times and realizes that, yes, he is still in his apartment, but it is so insanely..._clean_. His clothes are washed and folded, things are organized by shape, color, size, and there is a nice, hearty dinner (not ramen, _aw man_!) awaiting him in the dining room. Sasuke is putting the finishing touches to the meal by pouring tea and arranging flowers as the table center piece. "You are definitely having my children, Sasu-_chan_," Naruto teases and Sasuke scowls, "I'm not a fucking girl dobe." Naruto agrees, "No, but you might as well be my wife, ne?" He kisses Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke wipes his cheek furiously with soap afterwards because he could feel the saliva linger.

**XXX**

**Zana: **Thirty pages. Wow this was long. In case anyone was wondering why I made Neji's 'animal' a crane, it was due to a talk Miss Cat and I had about how he is pretty to look at and graceful like a crane. Plus the whole, 'I am an angsting Caged Bird,' was getting a little old.

**Next Act: Sai, The Missing Link **

_Because you no matter how far you go, no matter how hard you try to forget, you can never escape your past…_

_Shit hits the fan and the introductory arc comes to an end. _

Hm, I wonder how long this fic will turn out to be…

READ AND REVIEW!

Until next time,

_Ja ne!_


	5. Act Five: Sai, The Missing Link

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-13-14

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages. And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARUSasuNaru** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_By the way, shy7cat rocks. XD_

_And so do the reviewers who you know, REVIEW. _

_Last chapter in the Intro Arc! (throws confetti) _

_Have fun reading and don't forget to review, 'kay? 'Cause it irritates me when people add to me their story alert and doesn't bother to leave a comment._

_Enjoy!_

**XXX**

"For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror we can just barely endure, and we must admire it so because it calmly disdains to destroy us."

-_The First Elegy_ by Rainer Maria Rilke

**XXX**

**Masquerade**

**Act Five: Sai, the Missing Link**

Headmistress Tsunade along with her personal secretary, Miss Shizune, walked the hallways of their school, pleased to see that the students were taking an active role in decorating the building for their annual Thanksgiving Fest. The parents and guardians would be arriving this weekend and would be at the school up till Thanksgiving Day the following Thursday. Tsunade's pupils had been working diligently on decorating throughout the entire Saturday.

"You're doing well boys and girls, I'm sure your parents and guardians are going to be absolutely delighted to see what a great job you've done decorating…although the _real _credit goes to the advanced art students…the rest of you are completely lacking in talentwhen it comes to such creative ventures!" Tsunade declared merrily.

She was in high spirits only because holidays lead to drinking for which Shizune couldn't really bitch at her about. The busty blonde principal's ears picked up on a few grumbles and complaints made by the students working nearby. She stomped her open-toed shoed footand snarled, "If you little brats want to SAY something, you should come to my office and DO so!"

The freshmen students quaked in their clothing at their headmistress's sudden outburst. The other students were used to such things and therefore continued beautifying their much hated school, counting down the days until they would be able to graduate.

Tsunade's brunette companion laughed nervously, "Headmistress, I believe we must be on our way, some families are arriving today you know…"

Begrudgingly, Tsunade followed her secretary (babysitter) back to her office, but on the way caught a glimpse of Uzumaki, the kid who had been involved in a scrapwith Uchiha. Her eyes lingered on him, for the briefest of seconds before she turned her head away and continued on down the hall.

_**OOO**_

"…So you're telling me the school keeps everyone hostage during Thanksgiving Break and invites their parents to the school in order to add to their misery and then slaps the word 'tradition' on it to make it all seem happy happy joy joy-ish?"

During the mandatory hall adornment sessionCoach Gai and Lee danced about the hallways, singing about the youthful merriness of stuffing and bonding. Anko-sensei emotionally scarred the freshmen boys for life while Kakashi sat in a corner, reading a certain orange book with an X rating located on the back corner of the book. Iruka was scolding Kakashi on the inappropriateness of the book, but Kakashi seemed to not be listening, a visible eye crinkled in content. He nodded his head every few seconds to aid in appeasing Iruka's wrath.

Sakura Haruno used her teeth to rip off tape from its roll, nodding toward Naruto's summary of what she had just explained to him. Kiba slapped a flamboyantly drawn turkey onto the wall with some sticky tape. Haku then straightened the turkey in the same way he had been straightening every single thing that Kiba placed onto their previously hideous, brown school walls.

Ino sent a smirk in Sakura's direction, "Keep on using your teeth and they'll become crooked, forehead girl," the blonde girl placed her hands on her hips and snapped her gum obnoxiously. "You really ought to try and take care of yourself; you used be much more feminine…just because Sasuke dumped you doesn't mean that you should go out and ruin yourself. I mean, your hair used to be so pretty and long and…not pink. I can help you find another good-looking guy—"

"Hey Ino…I think you should shut up now, 'kay?" Sakura replied, after putting up a realistic drawing of an orange pumpkin. The pinkette turned her back to Ino and smiled at Naruto, "Sorry you're spending your first weekend here indoors decorating the school. They make it mandatory…but don't worry, next weekend we are definitely driving down to the city to have some fun."

Naruto nodded, "Sounds like a plan…and I think Ino over there doesn't know what she's talking about. In fact, Sakura-chan, I think you're very pre—"

Hinata Hyuuga tripped over a stapler left on the wooden floor causing her to fall into the arms of her crush, cutting off the rest of his sentence. The overly timid girl stuttered out an apology as her cheeks grew red with embarrassment. Naruto helped the heiress to stand, "Hey, hey, it's no problem Hinata! Just watch where you walk, there is a lot of crap all over the floor…"

"…Um…Th…than…you, Naruto…kun. I'm sorry! Excuse me!" A curtain of her dark hair covered her face as she scurried off to the nearest restroom. Kiba pressed his back to a wall and slumped down next to Shikamaru, who was sitting on the floor with his eyes closed. Cerulean eyes stared down at Kiba curiously, "What's with you man?"

"Tch, isn't it obvious? Hinata has a crush on _you_ and not _me_!" He replied, glaring, "And you were totally flirting with her! Taking advantage of her innocence!"

"I wasn't flirting with her! I made sure she was alright and gave her a little advice! Trust me; you would _know _if I was flirting with someone! Hinata's all yours!"

Haku smiled as he added, "Naruto-kun flirted with me the first time he met me, isn't that right Mr. Sexy Man-Meat?" The long dress the he wore fluttered with his every movement.

Sakura's eyes lit up as she dropped what she was doing, clasping her hands together in mock prayer, "Are you gay, Naruto? Are ya? _Are ya_?"

"Muh?" Naruto replied intelligently.

Chouji clarified, "Haruno reads gay porn."

The pink-haired tomboy's left eye twitched, "Like there's anything wrong with gay porn. You guys slobber all over lesbian porn!"

Sleepily, Shikamaru mumbled, "You read some lesbian porn as well, Haruno."

Ino slapped a hand to her forehead, "Ugh, why do I have to be your roommate again?" Sakura growled and began pinching Ino's cheeks while Ino tugged at Sakura's short hair.

Haku stood by Naruto's side, the brunet placing both hands on the sides of his face in a mock shock, "You ladies and men are insinuating that Naruto-kun and I would do some kind of _naughty_ performance together. You're making me blush." Haku bit his bottom lip and turned away bashfully.

Naruto pulled on his own hair and shook his head, trying to will away the blush on his cheeks, "Gah! I thought Haku was a girl, even though he kind of is, the first time I saw him. He has nice legs in a skirt _okay_? And…and…I'm not gay! At least not fully gay…I'm just your average sexually confused teenage guy with hormones, leave me _alone_!"

Sasuke Uchiha, who was approaching their group, overheard Naruto's sudden, embarrassing outburst. He was dressed oh so sexily in form-fitting stonewashed jeans and an equally fitting dark blue sweater, his family's company logo, a red and white Japanese paper fan, stitched onto the back of it. An elegant dark eyebrow arched, but no scathing comment followed the action; the Uchiha's gestures alone showed how much of an idiot he thought this blond really was. People like Naruto were why the whole stereotype began in the first place.

_Stupid bastard, always mocking me_, Naruto thought as he quickly saved face, "Oho! Look who's coming over here after totally ignoring me ever since the race…!"

Sasuke's face remained blank, "The race that you lost; the race that I was gracious enough to even give you a slight lead. The race in which you made a bet that I've won. We need to talk about you being 'my bitch' as you so _eloquently_ stated dobe. Follow me."

"I'm sure whatever you want to tell Uzumaki you can say it right here. Your troublesome voice woke me up from my nap," Shikamaru said, stretching and yawning in place.

"Yeah Uchiha, don't think you can make Naruto into one of your little groupie boys," Kiba added, Tenten telling him to get a grip while holding him back.

"Hn, dobe, are you sure your mutt doesn't have rabies…?"

Naruto glared furiously at Sasuke. "I'll be right back you guys…relax," he said, grabbing Sasuke's arm and pulling him away before a fight could commence. Sakura crossed her arms and gnawed on her tongue, not listening to Ino whine about Naruto getting her precious Sasuke's attention.

_The idea of Naruto being alone with Sasuke gives me a bad feeling I just can't shake off…I don't want Sasuke to mess him up…I don't want Sasuke to steal his smile…maybe I'm just being paranoid. Naruto's a strong person, I'm sure…I'm probably just being paranoid, right…?_

**XXX**

Naruto lead Sasuke to the library which was totally abandoned. Even the librarian wasn't seated at her usual desk; a sign was placed upon it that read, 'Lunch Break.' The two of them were surrounded in a sea of never-ending bookshelves, tables, chairs, and couches. It was extremely cool, and Naruto loosely wondered when the air conditioning would be turned off.

Sasuke pulled his arm away from the blond and brushed off the area where Naruto's fingers had made contact with his expensive clothing. Naruto faced the Uchiha, folded his arms across his chest, and tapped his left foot impatiently. Sasuke took note of the dobe's clothes and how shabby he looked overall; the blond donned an orange sweatshirt and faded jeans littered with various holes. Naruto took a step back and made space between him and the Uchiha, burying his hands within his pockets, fingers playing with the rough cloth within.

"Hey teme, I've been thinking. And I think…if you not remembering is supposed to be some sort of bastardly trick of yours…"

Sasuke sharply cut the blond off, "We went over this already, you idiot. I don't know yo—"

The dark-haired teen felt himself fall back, (legs in the air, a flash of blue and gold obscuring his vision). The back of his head slammed into the plush carpet of the library floor, followed by the rest of his body. Sasuke closed his eye and reopened them to find that his arms were being held down by tanned fingers and he felt the force of Naruto's weight pool around his stomach.

Naruto had just tackled him to the ground and was now sitting firmly on top of him. The blond had also effectively immobilized him by keeping him stubbornly pinned down.

_What…the…fuck?_

"Get off of me before I hurt you," Sasuke threatened evenly. He did not like the way Naruto was staring at him, didn't like the way those previously _normal_ blue eyes were turning into a dark sapphire, burning with something fierce. He felt vulnerable and that was the one feeling in the world that Sasuke despised the most.

"No. I'm going anywhere because I'm going to prove it to you, right now, that I'm not making any of this up! I remember the day you had to go…because you had a family…and I thought…no, I prayed that you wouldn't have family so that you could stay and be my brother like you said…no, _promised_ you would. Then that man came and took you away. He looked a lot like you, long black hair and black eyes…he looked as if he was either your father…but no, now that I think about he, he seemed too young to be a father…that man, was he your bro—"

"What do you know about him? _Nothing_, that's what. Anyone can get a magazine off the stands and read about him. But none of them will ever truly _know_ him. He'd never associate with trash like you. It seems that Temari was right about you, you pathetic star-chasing _loser_. So don't act as if…"

Sasuke had distracted Naruto with his outburst, and it gave him enough time to free his arms from the shocked blond's grasp. Naruto felt Sasuke's hands settle on his shoulders and squeeze them excruciatingly hard, as if wanting to crack the bone that resided underneath his skin. Naruto winced in pain and immediately lifted his legs and tied them around the Uchiha's slim neck, cutting off his air. Sasuke gasped and used his nails; he made sure that they pierced the blond's clothing and would mark up Naruto's flesh with bleeding red crescent-shaped scars. Naruto noticed the crazed glint that shone the other boy's normally inexpressive dark eyes.

"_Don't act as if you know…as if you own…my brother, usuratonkachi!" _

"…Ah, _shit_, teme, lemme go! You're _cutting_ me you _psychotic bastard_!"

A head of inky black hair peeked out from behind a bookshelf. A smile was plastered onto the person's face. He held a lead pencil in one hand and a sketchpad in the other.

"You can stop screaming now Dickless, I've completed my drawing."

Naruto stopped placing effort into trying to choke the life out of Sasuke. He made a face, "…Sai? How long have you been hiding there?"

The artist replied, "Long enough to draw the both of you. Such a heated moment needed to be recorded. You two have such a _raw_ chemistry. I like it."

Naruto scowled, "You're so _weird_ Sai, and now I think you're a fucking _stalker_."

Sasuke took this time to regain his composure and pushed Naruto off of him, making sure that the idiot's head bumped into the back of a table leg as revenge for the carpet thing earlier. The Uchiha stood up and dusted himself off, ran his fingers through his hair, and straightened his sweater.

"Meet me at my room tonight, eleven o'clock sharp. Don't be late."

"Whatever. Don't think that I'm through with you yet teme; that was only round two. I'm a very stubborn individual, y'know."

"Hn."

Sasuke walked past the blond, not uttering another word as he left the library, Naruto scowling after him. Sai had just found the two subjects that he would use for his midterm art project.

"I," Sai began, his plastic smile transforming into a straight line as his face took on a look of utter importance, "would like to draw you and Sasuke-kun, together, _naked_ for my project."

"…_WHAT THE HELL?!_" Naruto screeched, staring at Sai incredulously. He was so blown away by Sai's weirdness (bordering on sexual perverseness) that he did not even notice the red filtering through the orange of his shirt.

_Those colors…clash, _Sai distantly thought.

**XXX**

Kankuro sometimes felt hatred toward his older sister, world famous rock star Temari of the Sand. He was trapped within her shadow, being known only as Temari's 'less sexy' younger twin at school and subjected to his younger brother's random acts of violence and sadism whenever he tried to be a good big older brother and bond with Gaara. Yesterday night, Temari came storming to his room and bitched at him for about an hour about how he was useless and worthless and didn't take care of Gaara like she had instructed while she was away doing rock-star-like things (and basically fleeing the scene of her boyfriend's random, glamorized death).

Kankuro found that being the middle child at times, was often depressing. Thankfully he had his advanced art classes and work in the theater department to keep him occupied.

The younger twin sighed as his eyes wandered over to his sister who was still relentlessly pounding at Gaara's door, threatening to smash it down (and knowing Temari, she would break it down if need be). He had to admit, she looked different (younger) without all of her gross makeup and punk accessories. The way she did before she got famous and bad ass.

Finally, Gaara's door creaked open (he did not have a roommate) and a green-blue eye peeked out from the darkness of it, "What do you want?"

Temari scowled and pushed Gaara's door all the way open, "Jesus, Gaara you've been avoiding me like the plague ever since I've returned. You didn't attend any of your classes for the past two days!" Then, in a softer tone of voice, "Is there something wrong Gaara? You know Kankuro and I only want to be there for you."

Gaara stared at the two people he had never really considered his siblings and replied, "I can take care of myself," he then stepped out of his room and closed the door behind him, "I need to find Uzumaki." The redhead merely murmured this but it was loud enough for Temari to catch what he had said.

_That stupid blond kid from the library? Gaara actually wants to associate himself with that kid? Then…_

"_**Me? Me…? I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Your biggest fan, Temari-sama, and Gaara's self-proclaimed best friend ever!"**_

…_He was being truthful? Wow…_

**XOXOXO**

Behind their curtain that hides all, sat the shadow boys, Ka-Kun and Ge-Kun; they were watching television. They passed a bucket back and forth, taking handfuls of the contents within and swallowing it all with huge gulps, devouring it as if the bucket was filled with the sweetest, most addictive, mouth-watering, tummy-pleasing popcorn in the entire world.

Something worm-shaped and squiggly fell out of the bucket.

"This is such a magnificent show, Ka-Kun! Never have I thought ninjas could be so stylish, complex, and tragic! Just amazing!" Ge-Kun squealed, "What do you think Ka-Kun? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Ka-Kun snorted, "I think that Sasu character is vile! He claims that Naru is his best friend and then shoves a chidori through his chest? Sasu is trash! He is the lowest of scum; he is weak, loathsome and detestable above all things! He is not worthy of someone as pure-hearted and noble as Naru. That is what I think!"

Ge-Kun gasped, a shadowed hand pressed against his chest, as if to keep his beating heart still, "You dare foul mouth Sasu? Why, if anyone is detestable, loathsome, and trashy, it's that idiot Naru! It's obvious that Sasu wants nothing to do with him; Naru would only be in the way of him killing his sexy older brother—"

"What's this? You think his older brother is sexy? You offend me Ge-Kun!"

"Oh hush and relax Ka-Kun, you'll always be the only one for me. But as I was saying…you shouldn't hate Sasu! He has reasons for he does and maybe if things had been different, he and Naru would still be friends or maybe even lovers!"

Both of the shadow boys were then quiet as the voices on the TV spoke for themselves.

"_I won't let Orochi have you…!"_

"…_What do you know about having a family? You've been alone since the start!" _

"_Sasu…!"_

"_Naru…!" _

Ka-Kun spoke up, and said in a somber tone, "It truly was heartbreaking…I think I'm going to cry. Why does it hurt so much…?"

"On the inside…?" Ge-Kun finished.

The next thing Ge-Kun ate from out of the bucket crunched loudly in between his teeth and a sort of liquid spurted out from his mouth

**XOXOXO **

_It's getting close to eleven. I'd better get ready to go to Sasuke-teme's room. Ugh, I really don't feel like seeing him again, not after what went down today…he was acting so crazy, what if he tries to like, stab me in my sleep or some shit like that? _

Naruto sighed softly as he slipped on a fresh pair of boxer and shook away any remaining droplets of water in his hair. For some reason, Sai wasn't in the room tonight; the blond had figured that his roommate probably snuck off somewhere for the night. Naruto couldn't help but blush and fume at the same time as he flashbacked to what Sai had proposed earlier in the day.

"…_want to draw you and Sasuke-kun, together, naked for my project." _

…_crazed glint that shone in regularly inexpressive dark eyes…_

"_Don't act if you know…as if you own…my brother, usuratonkachi!" _

Naruto flopped onto his bed, unruly golden hair framing his sun kissed face. A puff of moist warm breath escaped from his lips as his eyelids drooped, closing over contemplative blue eyes.

_Sasuke…he really doesn't remember me…I guess it was awhile ago…but…even if he did forget, I sure as hell didn't. He was my first friend. But…today…what was up with him flipping out over his brother like that that? Why the heck does Haku want to be a girl? Why is Sai so…weird? I mean, if he wasn't so weird in an annoying way, I wouldn't mind rooming with him as much. Why did Sasuke dump such an awesome girl like Sakura-chan? I feel as if there are all of these secrets around me and that everyone is walking on eggshells to keep them away from me…grr! I shouldn't be questioning things! I'm so lucky to be going to such a good school and to meet such nice people! I could still be back in that place…alone…and…_

_**OOO**_

Gaara stood in the front of Naruto's door. He stared at the door warily before raising his hand and knocking firmly on it. From inside, he heard Uzumaki's voice shout, "I'm coming! Erm, hold on!" The sound of various objects falling could be heard as Uzumaki's footsteps came closer and closer before the door swung open. Gaara was taken aback by how the blond's blue eyes lit up in _happiness_ at the sight of him. It was strange. It made him feel _strange_.

"Tanuki-chan! I mean, Gaara! I haven't seen you in awhile, I even went to that tree I found you in and you weren't there! I was afraid that you were avoiding me…because of your sister…I'm…I'm not out for your money or anything! I really do want to be your friend! I—"

"I would like to try out this 'friendship' you offer to me. Temari doesn't control my actions, I do," Gaara replied in his usual droning voice. Naruto brushed his fingers down the pair of sweatpants he had thrown on, trying to smooth out the wrinkles, "Um, that sounds cool. Do you want to do some friendship-y things together tomorrow? I'm free…"

"Not particularly. Good night," the redhead replied. Naruto laughed in a sheepish manner, "Yeah. Good night Gaara." The blond closed the door behind him.

_Gaara's weird too, but a good kind of weird, a familiar kind of weird. I think he and I will become very good friends in the future. He's the kind of sharp and direct guy with little empathy…I'll have to take note of that. Maybe I was just being super paranoid before. I mean, it's not like anyone is out to get me. Che, how silly would that be…_

**XXX**

Within his own bathroom, Sasuke lifted up a small, clear, glass bottle and shook it. The liquid inside of the bottle was cloudy and had gray strands of something gross-appearing floating through it. Sasuke growled and tossed the bottle into the trash can.

_Damnit, I'm out of it…well, I've just checked myself and I should be fine until morning. I'll just go and get another bottle in the morning…_

The Uchiha studied his reflection in the mirror and scowled at the signs of bruising left on his delicate skin given to him by that stupid blond. Never had Sasuke met someone who had pissed him off in the way Naruto did. And Sasuke wondered why the stupid blond vehemently insisted that they knew each other…that he had seen _that person_ before in _person_. The idea was just utterly ridiculous. The dobe was utterly ridiculous.

_The only way to deal with irritating people like him is to break them…_

Neji knocked on the closed door, "Uchiha, someone's here for you."

A ghost of a smirk appeared on thin lips

**XXX**

Sakura gawked at her best friend who was currently running a brush through her loose, silky, platinum blonde tresses; she had donned a dress of all black.

"…_Temari's_ going to be summoning _ghosts_ in the forest? You have got to be shitting me! That's not a valid reason for sneaking out on such a cold night! You're going to be freezing your ass off in that get-up Ino-pig! That Suna girl is just trying to lure all of the innocents into her deadly web of insanity-induced stardom."

The blue-eyed girl snorted as she tossed her brush onto her bed and studied her reflection in the mirror, straightening out the skull choker that adorned her neck, "I'm not going because of that, I'm going because my dearest Sasuke's going be there as well. It's the perfect chance for me to seduce him, hence the push-up bra, billboard brow." Ino gestured to her suddenly voluptuous cleavage.

Sakura sucked her teeth and turned a page in the manga she read, "I think I'll come with. I might have to save you from your own blondness. Why are you so focused on Sasuke? You even said it yourself there are a lot of other decent guys in this school…and besides, Sasuke's totally gay."

Ino's left eye twitched, "Is not."

"Is too. There are so many clues. When I dated him, we basically did nothing. Same goes for the other girls he's dated. And how many girls does that add up to…like, three? And all of those relationships have been also notoriously short. I was stupid to ever think that I could make him love me…stupid to even think that I loved him…"

"Tch, he hasn't found the right girl yet! And so what if he sleeps with a couple of guys, he IS incredibly gorgeous; he has the right to share his beauty even with those of the same gender!"

"What makes you think that you're the right girl? Would you share your beauty with those of the same gender?"

"Stop trying to play your advanced psychology mind games with me Haruno, they're so _not _working. Now are you coming or not?"

The pinkette closed her manga, sighing, "I suppose so. I have nothing better to do."

Ino smiled, "Oh good! Now you can carry my back-up shoes for me! You sure can be useful sometimes space-for-rent forehead girl!"

"…You can be such a bitch, _oink-oink_."

The blonde smiled and struck a model-like pose, "You know you love me for it!"

Sakura laughed, albeit, halfheartedly, "Yeah…love...whatever helps you sleep at night."

**XXX**

_Sakura's Journal, Entry 17_

_Love Songs for Ino (never again Sasuke)_

_Song Four: Speechless_

_You leave me Speechless_

_You leave me Soulless and Mindless_

_You leave me Breathless; you take all my doubts away and leave me Doubtless._

_You're completely Clueless, but it's OK. I feel Defenseless, but it's OK because…_

_(Chorus)_

_You're FLAWLESS and it makes me TACTLESS_

_Please don't get mad; how could you be so HEARTLESS._

_Oooh, it was never my intention to be LOVELESS, many nights I'm left Sleepless and Dreamless, but right here and now my feelings for you seem…_

_Endless. _

_(Repeat Chorus 3x) _

**XXX**

_I've been watching Sasuke smoke for the past ten minutes. He does so in a kind of girly way (pursed lips, unbent fingers), in a kind of graceful manner that I could probably never achieve. _

_Whenever he takes a long drag on his cigarette, he follows with a deep inhalation and I imagine that he pulls the smoke into the farthest recesses of his lungs, where hundreds of thousands of tiny air sacs begin to cry feebly out and drown in sticky tar, then fade away in that damaging, chemical mixture…_

_Being near Sasuke again makes me want to…_

_I wish he remembered._

**XXX**

"…Teme…! You never…never told me we were…going out…outside! I'm so _fucking_ cold! I want to go back to the school; you're not being fair at all…!" Naruto's teeth chattered and his voice trembled.

"Whoever said that life was fair, dobe? Stop being a baby and deal with it. And keep your voice down; do you _want_ us to get caught?"

"Y'know, I still have these random marks all over my chest from your stupid nails. Are you some kind of closet sadist freak?"

"Maybe," was the toneless reply.

Naruto glared at the figure moving swiftly ahead of him. It was pitch dark outside and the only way the blond was able to tell that someone was walking ahead of him was through the dim orange glow of the cigarette the Uchiha was currently sucking on. When the blond had mentioned that they took five minutes off of his lifespan and would give him lung cancer and take away his girly looks, Sasuke had just replied with a noncommittal, "Hn."

"Where the hell are you taking me? You can't even act normal about having a fake slave, I was expecting at least a, 'You have to do my homework,' or something along those lines…"

Sasuke pulled his cancer stick away from his lips and tilted his head back to expel a silvery cloud of smoke that mingled with his visible breath in the chilled night air. The sounds of their shuffling shoes stepping on dead leaves, twigs, and dirt filled a short silence before Sasuke spoke, "I'd never let an idiot like you do my homework. And you'll see when you get there, usuratonkachi."

"Asshole," Naruto grumbled back, even though the way Sasuke insulted him sounded offhanded and not as sharp as usual. The two of them traveled for a while through a path of bare branches and cracked tree trunks until Naruto found himself accidentally bumping into the Uchiha's back.

"Stop making bodily contact with me dobe."

"Fuck you teme, why did you stop?" The blond peered over Sasuke's shoulder and his eyes widened, "Hell no, teme, I know you're not making me cross that bridge, it looks like it's about to fall to pieces, you can't possibly—"

Sasuke tossed his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it before setting foot on the small bridge. The rotting wood scent of it was strong; it swung from side to side making creaky, squeaking noises. The Uchiha made it across without any complications.

Even though Naruto was unable to see it, he was sure that Sasuke was smirking at him sardonically. Fucking bastard.

Naruto felt his way around the darkness, getting a strong grip on the moist rope of the bridge. His fingers were numb; he wished that he had worn gloves. And a thicker hoodie. And a hat. And a scarf. Pretty much all of what the teme had on. Fucking _evil _bastard.

"Are you _that_ scared, loser? Do I need to come over there and hold your _hand_?" Sasuke sneered. He was pleased to know that the blond took the bait as he watched the shadowed figure of Naruto's body propel itself forward on the bridge.

"Who are you calling scared? I'll show you, you annoying jerk off. Screw you Sasuke Uchiha, just screw…!"

The wood snapped in half underneath Naruto's very feet. There was nothing there to support him as the entire bridge broke apart, chunks of it falling into the mysterious dark depths below him. The blond also fell with the bridge, arms extended toward the blue-black sky above him, flailing as he screamed to the top of his lungs.

_This is almost like falling out of that tree again, almost like being thrown in that lake again, except, except, except…_

"…_**SASUKE…!"**_

…_will I be saved or is this going to be The End?_

**XXX**

Sai gave his spray paint can a good shake and popped open the lid.

The one thing that the he despised the most was having artist's block. It had been disappointing to hear Naruto's blatantly negative reaction to his wish of painting the blond nude. The problem was that Uzumaki thought of Sai's offer as an act toward perversity when in fact, Sai just thought that Naruto's body (lean and muscled) would mesh well with Uchiha's (slim, yet not too womanly). The two were perfect physical opposites, Naruto being blond haired, blue eyed, and tanned while Sasuke was more of your typical dark-haired, pale, dark-eyed Asian blessed with that extra amount of exquisiteness that gave him so many admirers.

Well, Sai still had time. His midterm art project wasn't due until before winter break.

Sai heard the sound of the wet paint stain the outer walls of Spokespane as he began to write out a message. Hopefully this kind of creative release would aid in freeing him of his artist's block and allow him to bring birth to more fitting works of art for his advanced class.

**XXX**

Haku found that he only had to knock three times before the door to his biology teacher's room opened. Without even saying a proper, 'Good evening' or 'Hello,' the boy made his way inside the room, dressed only in a loose emerald robe and slippers. His dark hair was neatly placed into a simple bun held together by accessory chopsticks.

Zabuza Momochi turned on the lights and rubbed the back of his neck. He felt discomfited being shirtless around one of his students.

"Haku, it's very late. You ought to be in bed; whatever you wish to discuss or need help with can be done tomorrow."

Haku's lips quirked into a knowing smile, "I don't think the daytime would be appropriate for what I need help with, Mr. Momochi."

Haku's voice was laced with something besides its usual softness. Before Zabuza could stop Haku, he felt his student's body press against his own. Haku's arms slipped around his middle and his creamy shoulders were revealed as the top half of his robe slipped off. Haku spoke against Zabuza's bare skin and it sent an unwanted tingle down the older man's spine.

"…Let me be yours, sensei," Haku whispered. Zabuza used his common sense and grabbed Haku by his wrists, pushing his student away from him. This wasn't right. Haku was pretty, yes, but too young, too naïve and a situation like this could cause all sorts of complications that he would rather not have to deal with.

Haku stared up at his beloved teacher helplessly. Many students feared him and stupid, cruel rumors were made up about him, but Haku knew underneath Zabuza's exterior was just a normal man; one who needed to be loved. Haku wanted to be the one to provide that love…what else could these strong feelings toward Mr. Momochi be?

"Haku, I can't. Whatever signals you've read wrong, or whatever adoration you've mixed with infatuation, I can't—"

"It's not just infatuation! Don't you dare say that…I love you with all of my heart!!! No one else has to know…and if this is because…because I'm a boy…I'm working on it Zabuza, I'll change my whole identity for you, just don't reject me…_please don't_…"

Haku felt his voice catch within his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut to prevent any tears from falling. He did not want to cry, not in front of his teacher. He wanted to show that he was strong and not childish and capable of whatever Mr. Momochi wanted.

"Good night Haku," came the low rumble of his teacher's voice from behind him, followed by the closing of his door. The feminine brunet's legs quaked as he crumpled to the floor, where he curled up into a ball and sobbed into the sleeves of his silk robe. The chopsticks previously within his hair clattered to the floor, setting his long, dark locks free.

**XXX**

Sasuke easily grabbed a hold of one of Naruto's hands and pulled him up until the blond was safe from falling into the river below. The both of them tumbled backwards onto the safe, flat ground and Sasuke looked hazily at the now missing bridge.

"Hn…I guess we'll have to take the quick way back to Spokespane."

Naruto slowly sat up and stared at the dark figure that was Sasuke next to him, feeling murderous intent bubble up from inside of him, "…There was a faster way that DIDN'T involve crossing that shitty old bridge? What the hell Sasuke, you're such a twisted little bastard; I almost wish that I could kill y—"

The blond closed his mouth promptly as he heard a soft _thud_, the sound of a body hitting the forest floor. Sasuke's body. Naruto blinked carefully and raised a (shaking) hand out toward Sasuke, shaking him lightly, "Um…teme, what the hell are you doing now? Teme…?"

There was no response. Naruto figured that this couldn't be joke because Sasuke would never allow him to touch him the way he was doing at the moment; his dirtied hands were ghosting across surface of the raven-haired teen's face. Sasuke felt very cold despite being all bundled up. This wasn't good.

"…Sasuke…! Damnit, I'm taking you back to the school, if this _IS_ a joke you'd better wake your ass up!"

He scrambled to his feet and lifted Sasuke onto his back, making sure the unconscious Uchiha wouldn't slip off of him. Sasuke was surprisingly heavy. He also smelled nice; he must have been wearing some kind of expensive cologne.

_Okay, so I don't know how to get the hell out of here, exactly, but I am going to FIND a damn way and I am going to get Sasuke the help he needs…! What if what I said came true…? No, that's stupid; I don't have the time to act stupid! C'mon Naruto, run for your damn life, who the hell knows what wrong with the teme…! _

**XXX**

"_THEY'RE MISSING?! I can't believe this; this is ABSOLUTELY…!" _Tsunade roared.

The headmistress began to pace around her desk, with the eyes of Shizune, Kakashi, Iruka, and a few other room advisors following her rampage. Shizune cleared her throat, "Ah, Headmistress, we've already dispatched Anko, Gai, Genma, and Ibiki to go and round them up! No need to worry, they must be all in the forest again, remember the last time…?"

"Teenagers will be teenagers," Kakashi added lightly, face hidden behind his beloved orange book. Tsunade glowered at the silver-haired instructor before sitting back down behind her desk and folding her hands beneath her chin. Her golden-brown eyes hardened.

"Itachi Uchiha is arriving tonight and what do you think he's going to say when he finds that his diabetic little brother has gone off into the woods _without _taking his insulin? An expired bottle was found in his room. I can't believe that even _Neji Hyuuga_ did not even bother to inform anyone! My job is on the line here and so is someone's life! They're not just teenagers Kakashi, they're fools…and I'll be damned if someone doesn't get expelled from here this very night!"

Iruka spoke up, "Headmistress…I agree with you whole heartedly. The students missing have been extremely irresponsible tonight and should be punished accordingly…"

All of the adults in the room turned their heads as Tsunade's door slammed open. There stood Anko Mitarashi with a scruffy-looking, despondent Naruto Uzumaki by her side. She shoved him inside of the suddenly quieted room, a look of fury and awe plastered into her face.

"…This brat just saved Sasuke Uchiha. And this brat is also in a lot of trouble. The others are being brought in as we speak. It seems that Temari of Suna was the ring leader of tonight's little outing. All of the usual suspects were involved."

Naruto refused to make eye contact with anyone in the room and instead, chose to look at his muddied shoes which were currently staining the headmistress's white carpet. Tonight was messed up on so many levels; he did not even want to _begin_ thinking about the amount of trouble he was in.

"Uzumaki, so we meet again, eh? I don't know the full story yet, but from what I can tell of it, it sounds like you're about to lose your scholarship…"

The blond's head snapped up, fear evident in his eyes, "…_What?!_ No, I can't…!"

_I can't lose everything again…no…I don't want to go back to that place…I don't want to leave him after I've just found…!_

"…Lady Hokage, must you be so _brutal?_ After all, if what Ms. Mitarashi just said is true, and this blond did in fact rescue my foolish little brother, I believe losing his scholarship is that last thing that should be happening, ne?"

A tall man with dark hair encased in a sleek ponytail walked into the room, appearing very classy and debonair in his black suit. What stood out the most about this man were his eyes; they were a mesmerizing shade of crimson. Sapphire eyes drifted over to where this deep, rich voice was coming from and for the billionth time since his arrival at Spokespane, he was left completely surprised.

It was that man who took Sasuke away from him all those years ago. It was that man that Sasuke called his _brother_.

That man walked over toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He smiled warmly at Naruto and then pulled the blond into a bone-crushing hug, his face nuzzling Naruto's untamed hair.

"I'm Itachi Uchiha. Thank you very much for saving my little brother, you adorable little blond! I will _forever_ be in your debt, starting with the issue of your punishment! Lady Hokage, you _will not_ get rid of this boy! I want to take him shopping!"

Every other person in the room gave exasperated sighs. Tsunade rubbed her forehead and asked Shizune to bring her drink. She would have to be completely hammered in order to deal with this man. It amazed her how both siblings were total _opposites_ of each other. Just outside of Tsunade's office stood the accomplices that the flamboyant Uchiha (blackmailed) brought along; all of the men were weary and irritable from their long flight.

Together, they were known as the Akatsuki.

_Watch out Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi has returned to Spokespane. Have you heard, have you heard, have you heard?_

_Is there enough room for two, for two, as contradictory as me and you?_

**XXX End Act XXX**

**Bonus Act Four: Letter**

_Dear Teme/Asshole/Bastard/Rival/Brother/Friend (?),_

_Hey, it's me again. It's night time now and all of Konoha is silent. It's a full moon tonight, bastard, and for some reason it reminded me of you, so I decided to write this letter. Today was pretty uneventful. Tsunade-baachan gave me no missions, I went out on a "date" with Sakura-chan at Ichiraku's (their ramen is still the best around), and I trained. I sparred with Sai today. He kind of…defeated me, then rubbed it in my face saying it was due to the fact I had no…hey, you know what? Let's not even get into that. At least Sai's much better than he used to be….but he can never replace you, Sasuke. _

_I was looking at our team photo the other morning. You know, the one where we're both scowling at each other as Sakura-chan (we're such close friends now, so close) smiles and Kakashi-sensei (he's doing very well, by the way, the same as ever) has a hand over our heads? We were so young back then. So young…and stupid, and damaged and…innocent? Well, I supposed out of all of us, Sakura-chan was the most innocent. But then we tainted her. You rejected her and she really did love you, you fucking asshole. But then again, you never did have any space in your heart for anything besides killing Itachi. You were crawling toward the light but allowed the darkness to swallow you up greedily. I wish I had been stronger back then. _

_I hate you, Sasuke, I really do. I hate you letting people get close to you, and then turning your back on us at the last minute. I hate you for almost killing me. You said I was your best friend Sasuke, and yet you mercilessly rammed a Chidori through my chest. If it wasn't for my Kyuubi and your Curse Seal, we would have died at the Valley of the End. _

_Can you believe we were only twelve?! _

_I hate you teme, and yet…I miss you. I miss us fighting and you calling me a 'dobe' and 'usuratonkachi' although I'll never admit it your face. Others around here say I'm obsessed and a fool for wanting you back, but frankly I don't give a damn. Sakura-chan and I both need you. Kakashi-sensei needs you (I think…he's so hard to read, but I'm sure he misses you). Every day it feels as if we're missing something and every night before I close my eyes, I always realize it's you. _

_Ah, look at me sounding like some sentimental idiot. You'd probably stare at me with those blank eyes and casually point out the faults in my logic. _

_Have you found a replacement for me teme, hm? I wonder. _

_Well, it's getting late now and tomorrow I will continue my pursuit of finding you. Hopefully, I will soon be able to punch your pretty little face in and break all of your bones. Then I would drag you across the ground all the way back to Konoha before…I don't know, maybe kissing your stupid, bloodied, unconscious face in triumph. Yeah…that sounds like a plan, ya abandoning asshole! Take that!_

_Remember our accidental kiss in class when were younger? I can still remember the feel of your lips against mine. They were soft. _

_Sincerely/Yours Truly/Lovingly (?),_

_Uzumaki Naruto, Future Rokudaime and your Future Savior _

He rolled up the scroll neatly and placed it into a drawer brimming with them. They were all letters written to no one but to specters and the howling wind

**XXX**

**Z/N: **To answer a reviwer's question, no the bonus acts have nothing to do with _Masquerade _unless stated otherwise. They're side stories for the fans because I am nice like that. Prepare for more Squishy!Itachi and the Akatsuki Squad next chapter. Keep on guessing about the Shadow Boys, because that oh-so-magical prize is still up for grabs, yeah? And also, _don't forget to review_! Humor me and do so, ne?

**Next Act:**** Folie a Deux**

_It's the beginning of the French Arc. In which there are confessionals, families, gossip, jealousy, greed, flirting, and hidden agendas…the Shadow Boys will are sure to have a lot of entertainment. Humans can be so silly…_

_Until next time…_

_Ja ne! _

_**Arc One (Animal Arc) Soundtrack **_(All great songs and artists that I'd suggest you YouTube if you want an auditory taste).

Intro Arc Theme Music: This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race and Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy

Naruto's Theme: Honey 2007 by L'ArcenCiel

Sasuke's Theme: Thanks For The Memories by Fallout Boy

Itachi's Theme: The World by Nightmare (Death Note Opening 1)

Sai's Theme: Alumina by Nightmare (Death Note Ending 1)

NaruSasu Theme(s): Hajimete Kimi to Shabetta by GAGAGA SP (Naruto Ending 8) and This Love by Maroon 5

Sakura and Ino's Theme: Tangled Up in Me by Skye Sweetnam and She Will Be Love by Maroon 5

Gaara's Theme: Namikaze Satellite by Snorkel (Naruto Opening 7)

Neji's Theme: Ningyo Hime (Mermaid Princess) Chobit's Second Ending Theme by Tanaka Rie

Lee's Theme: Go! (Fighting Dreamers) by Flow (Naruto Opening 4)

Hinata's Theme: Blurry Eyes by L'ArcenCiel

Temari's Theme: U and Ur Hand by Pink

Naru-kun with His Friends Theme: Viva Rock, Japanese Side by Orange Range (Naruto Ending 3)

Ka-Kun and Ge-Kun's Theme: Absolute Destiny: Apocalypse by J.A. Seazer


	6. Act Six: Folie a Deux

**Special Z/N:** Just before we get to the story good-ness, there are just a few things that I need to point out. Just to make sure that we are (as writer and reviewers and such) are all on the same level. I write fan fiction because first off, I LOVE writing. Wherever my future profession may lie, I want it to be one where I get to write a LOT. And as a writer, I also love to write things that other people enjoy reading. And as a writer, I LOVE getting feedback on what I write (as other fellow writers do) so that I can IMPROVE because goodness knows I have _a lot_ to work on (I mean, look at my earlier fics and compare it to my latest fics…major changes for the better!)

Therefore, I think everyone should be able to understand the utter frustration I feel from writing Masquerade, review-wise. I have tons of story alerts and added favorite and that's fine and dandy, but if you like this story…TELL ME…_please_. I have NO LIFE, I LIVE OFF OF OPINIONS! (This is me just being dramatic…I _do_ have a life…)

Also, **one-liners do not count as **_**real **_**reviews**. Saying, _Update soon_ or _I liked this chapter_ does nothing for me except let me know there are a few people out there who are actually reading them and like it enough to stop by and say something. I would rather get 5 lengthy reviews critiquing my writing style, telling what was likable/dislikable about the chapter, and suggestions for further chapters than 100 one-liner reviews.

Not to be bitchy (because I am being totally honest and am trying to phrase this as nicely as possible while getting my point across) but if I continue to see things progress the way they are now, I will probably take down _Masquerad_e and just move onto another project (or finish my older ones).

With all that being said…_GIVE ME REAL REVIEWS_ (respectful reviews, of course, because flames/rudeness helps no one).

_Please and thank you! _

Shout out to _kayfoxmoon_ for pointing out something I didn't make too clear last chapter (and sending me the type of review I like). Tsunade found his spoiled bottle in his trash can when she went to go and search his room; there was still some liquid inside of it. She made a very intelligent conclusion based off of the evidence.

_And thanks to all the others who review as well, your comments are the reasons why I still write!_

**XXX**

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-13

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages. And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARUSasuNaru** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_By the way, shy7cat pwns me. All hail the beta-kitty, yosh! _

**XXX**

"Between the desire and the spasm, between the potency and the existence, between the essence and the descent, falls the shadow."

_-The Hollow Men_ by T.S. Eliot

**XXX**

"I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape—the loneliness of it—the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it—the whole story doesn't show."

_-Andrew Wyeth _

**XXX**

**Spokespane Confessionals**

_Starring Sasuke Uchiha_

[Here is where our favorite rebels, queers, emos, and loners dish out their innermost thoughts, their secret desires, and their darkest fantasies; so sit back, relax, and prepare to be dazzled! Oh, and do remember not to believe _everything_ you hear...

_(Sasuke sits alone on a metal chair in the center of a stage facing rows of seats that are currently empty except for two. He cannot see them, but they are listening and watching carefully. The stage lights shine brilliantly above him, blinding him just slightly. Out of either nerves or a craving, he takes out a cigarette, lights it up, and smokes. He becomes less tense and crosses his legs.) _

**Sasuke**: I never got much attention, growing up, at least not from the people who _mattered_. It was always about _Itachi_. About how intelligent Itachi was, about how athletic and attractive and astonishing Itachi was. My aniki wasn't always the flamboyant idiot he is today. At one point in time, he was actually…tolerable. _Cool_. I remember wanting to be just like him. Because he was _cool _and father paid attention to him because of it. Mom tried to be there for me …but it wasn't _enough_. Heh, call me greedy if you will, that isn't my deadliest sin. _(small sigh)_ Father always brushed me off; he always said I had to do _better _and work _harder_ in order to reach my brother's level; there was never any mention of surpassing Itachi…I was in his shadow and was expected to _remain_ in his shadow. I hated Itachi and yet, I desperately wanted him to _notice _me. He never really paid attention to me either. He just tapped my forehead, smiled, called me foolish, and went on his merry way…it wasn't fair…there was something Itachi had that I didn't…something that made me unworthy of…I just wanted…I still want…to capture his interest and _enthrall _him…

Ka-Kun leaned over in his seat and whispered in Ge-Kun's ear, "Sounds like he has a major inferiority complex, wouldn't you agree?"

Ge-Kun nodded in agreement and whispered back, "I agree, I agree! Look, I think he's brooding, how attractive, attractive! I'm envious!"

"Envious enough to take a life?"

"…No, not quite, but thank you for asking, Ka-Kun."

"Anytime, Ge-Kun, my darling."

**Sasuke**: I used to be innocent, I guess, and naïve, I guess, before the night my parents died. Things became blurry, after that night. I got a little messed up, after that night. But, after they were gone, well, would it be…hn, it's not as if anyone else will know. I was…relieved…I was _happy_. My parents, whom I never really cared for and who had never really cared for me, were out of the picture. I would finally have Itachi all to _myself_. He changed too, after that night. He became a flashy_ idiot_…or at he at least acts the part brilliantly…he runs father's corporation with an iron fist and still finds time to shop and indulge himself the way a girl would. I decided that I would gain his undivided attention no matter how stupid he acted or how much he distanced himself from me… This is why I smoke, drink, sleep around, and why I got myself expelled. That's right, it was on fucking _purpose_. And if anyone tries to get in the way of my goals, I will not hesitate to _annihilate_ them.

"Ge-Kun, did you hear all of that?! The angst practically overflows from this boy! Bravo! Bravo! What a well-delivered soliloquy!" Identical shadowed hands clapped in unison.

"I did, I did Ka-Kun! We must report this in our play later on! We ought to share, we ought to share and tell our audience why Sasuke Uchiha left the school in the first place!"

"Now, now, let's not get hasty! We can't share ALL of our juicy information so soon! Our listeners would lose interest! And besides, how do we know if he's telling us the truth?"

Ge-Kun tilted his human-shaped head, "You're right, what if there's a missing piece…?"

_(Sasuke stands up and kicks the chair off stage. He smirks as he watches it slam against the ground loudly. He exhales, and then exits, stage right.) _

**Masquerade**

**Act Six: Folie a Deux**

_(A Madness Shared by Two)_

"…_I think he's coming… now, ye…ah." _

"…_bi, go and…fetch…chi…"_

Sasuke's mind was gradually drifting out of murky unconsciousness and into clear awareness. The last thing he remembered was feeling dizzy, cold, and unusually thirsty. In fact, his mouth still felt parched and begged for water. The Uchiha's lips parted as they sucked in air and his eyelashes fluttered as he opened his dark eyes. Two recognizable figures stood next to his bedside; one man sported flaming red hair and vacant eyes while the other was a much taller, effeminate blond. Sasuke sat up, a dark look clouding his handsome face.

"…Sasori…Deidara…where is my brother? Is the rest of Akatsuki here?"

The blond called Deidara spoke, "Tobi went to go and get him and yeah, all nine of us are here. Is that any way to greet us after not seeing each other in such a long time? You've grown taller, yeah." Deidara slipped a hand around Sasori's waist, pulling him close to his body.

"And thinner," Sasori added coolly, sending an irritated glare Deidara's way. "Your brother isn't pleased with your irresponsible actions. You're extremely lucky that skilled doctors and nurses are available here in the school's Wellness Center. I doubt you would be allowed back to your school a second time if you were to get expelled for sneaking out and endangering not only yourself, but others as well. Then Itachi would have no choice but to send you to military school, or worse, a Catholic one."

The younger Uchiha snorted, picking up the glass of water that was set on a table by his side, "I would never allow that to happen; I would rather suffer from a seizure and then go into a coma, hn."

"_Tsk, tsk_! Foolish little brother, what have I said about using such negative language and having such negative thoughts…?"

Sasuke drank all of the water in the glass, effectively quenching his thirst. He licked his lips and took a deep breath as his eyes trailed over to the open doorway where his brother stood next to an exhausted-looking, dazed Naruto Uzumaki and Tobi, whose face was hidden behind his unusual orange mask.

At the sight of Sasuke well and up, Naruto rushed over to his side, cerulean eyes shining with a mix of utter relief and total rage. The blond bit down on his bottom lip, flared his nostrils, and raised his hand, bringing it down in order to smack Sasuke in the face. His attack was intercepted by the younger Uchiha who held Naruto in place by getting a tight hold on the blond's wrist. Deidara, Itachi, and Tobi gasped; Sasori merely raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Teme! Not only did you almost get my ass expelled and have me fall off a bridge, you totally were risking your own life! You tried to trick me into thinking I killed you with my _words _you asshole! I ha-"

The raven haired teenager sharply twisted the blond's wrist, causing Naruto gasp in pain. Itachi came between the two and separated Sasuke from Naruto, "That's enough now boys…it's very late and I know I'm not the only person who needs his beauty rest," Itachi declared, eyeing Sasuke with a slight frown, "You and I will have an important discussion in the morning, foolish little brother," the elder Uchiha said in perfect Japanese. Naruto blinked as Sasuke glared at Itachi and replied back in what the blond guessed was French, most likely to make whatever he was saying incomprehensible to the blond.

Itachi only smiled at Sasuke before turning his back on him to face Naruto. He placed a hand on the blond's shoulder, red eyes boring into infinite blue, "Come, Naruto-kun, I'll escort you to your dorm room. Perhaps you can give me a small tour on the way back; it's been such a long time since I've stepped foot in this school…hey, are you alright, Naruto-kun? Do you want some candy?" Itachi fished out a lollipop from his pocket and offered it to the blond.

Naruto looked away from Itachi's scrutinizing ruby gaze, "Um, I'm fine Uchiha-san…just tired, heh. You don't have to walk me back…I mean, you've done so much already and I'll be fine going by myself and I'm sure you must want to catch up with Sasu--"

"From now on, you are to address me as _Itachi-niichan_," the dark haired man interrupted as he pushed Naruto out of the room, "My otouto will be fine, this isn't the _first_ time he's done something like this…so, what's your favorite color…? Mine's purple…"

"…Huh? But…but…Uchiha…I mean, I prefer orange myself, but, wait…! Oi, Itachi_-niichan…!_"

Sasuke clearly heard his brother's insisting and the dobe's protesting, even after they left the room. Tobi watched as the younger Uchiha bared his clenched teeth and dug his nails into the thin mattress of the bed he laid on, "I'm going…to _kill _him," the younger Uchiha stated, in a dark, quiet, ominous tone.

_Kill whom? Your brother or the blond?_ Sasori speculated with curiosity.

**XXX**

Naruto knocked on the wooden door of his room, mentally scolding himself for forgetting his key. He hoped that Sai had returned from wherever came back from and would be conscious enough to get up and let him in. The blond felt apprehensive and slightly uncomfortable with Sasuke's older brother standing next to him talking enthusiastically about his favorite bath soaps; never had the blond been glomped by, much less _stood _in such close proximity with, an _older_ guy. Naruto's hands began to sweat and his stomach performed a series of fluttery gymnastics.

Finally, the door opened and Naruto and Itachi were greeted with the smiling face of Sai. A blue eye twitched in annoyance as the blond questioned in a low tone, "Hey, _perverted stalker bastard_…why in the hell are you wearing _my_ shirt…and _my _boxers…?!"

"Because I _felt_ like it, Dickless. They're quite comfortable."

"_SAI, YOU MOTHER—"_

Itachi pulled Naruto's face to his bosom, cutting off the rest of Naruto's sentence and wrapped his arms snuggly around the blond's body in another hug.

"Why Naru-kun, you never told me you had a _lover_! He's so adorable! Now I can give tips not only in _school_, but for the _bedroom_ as well!"

"_SAI IS __**NOT **__MY LOVER! HE'S A PERVERT AND AN ASSHOLE…!" _

Sai, dressed in a baggy orange T-shirt displaying a red fox in the center and polka-dotted boxers, leaned back against the frame of the doorway, wholeheartedly amused by the situation. The doors to the other rooms on their floor swung open their inhabitants inquisitive as to what was disturbing their nightly rest/masturbating/fucking/drinking/whatever.

Sai sang quietly to himself, _"What's this? What's this? Foxy boy's with an older man, and not just any other, but alas, he's Sasuke's older brother!" _

"Erm, good night Itachi-niichan, you should go and get your beauty rest now!" Naruto said in a louder voice in order to override Sai's obnoxious, gay, rhyming song. Itachi, in a grand, dramatic gesture, grabbed both of the blond's hands with his own; the dark haired man's thumb gently rubbed the palm of a tanned hand.

"Until we meet again Naru-kun. Oh, and take this ring."

Naruto was given a Ring Pop. Itachi smirked at the spectators (causing quite a few to faint on the spot) as he traversed down the hallway and out of the building. The other boys (and girls who had snuck into their rooms) watching gasped, squealed, and then sent photos and recordings of what had just occurred between Sasuke's legendary older brother and the scholarship kid to all of their friends.

Naruto Uzumaki had never been more embarrassed.

Kiba Inuzuka, who had returned to his own room just moments before (and whose room was just a door down from Naruto and Sai's), marched right over to the blushing blond and pointed at him accusingly. "Dude! I mean, I knew you were gay or something, but I never pinned you for being a _gold digger_! You work _fast_!" The brunet exclaimed jabbing the embarrassed and stunned blond in the ribs with his elbow.

Kiba's roommate, Shino Aburame went back inside of the room and adjusted his dark tinted glasses, sighing. His roommate's puppy, Akamaru walked over to him and sat in front of him stubbornly, barking twice. Shino mentally cursed Kiba's pet and Kiba's obliviousness; even the damned dog _knew_. "Quiet you," he muttered to the white-furred puppy who turned his head and growled softly in resentment.

Sai pulled the now unmoving, blushing, embarrassed, and stunned blond into their room, "That's enough Inuzuka; I believe Dickless's _tiny_ brain has officially stopped functioning for tonight."

**XXX**

**Spokespane Confessionals**

_Starring Temari of the Sand (Temari Suna)_

_(It is a moonless night. Temari sits at the very end of a long bench, her legs dangling like a rag doll's over the edge. Her eyes stare straight ahead at a stained glass window depicting Jesus. The glass is made of shades of violet and red. Temari brings a bottle to her lips, tilts her head back, and takes large, thirsty gulps of her drink. The sound of twin bells ringing can be heard from outside. She then sets the bottle down by her side and yawns. She, like Sasuke, is unaware of two shadows watching her every move.) _

**Temari**: It's kind of nice to be back at school, only if it's for a little bit. At least in school I can do something else besides signing autographs and trying to escape those damn stalkers known as the paparazzi. Now, don't get me wrong; I like performing. Nothing else in the world can compare to the sweat rolling off of your body, the screaming fans, reverberating bass, the pressing of your body and lips against a metal microphone…the whole experience is just completely mind-blowing. Plus, it gives me an excuse to constantly be away from home. I see my manager, Baki, as more of a parental figure than my own father…but the person I worry about the most, while I am away, would have to be Gaara. He's the one person that I can't read…I guess his being introverted is a natural thing…something that can't change…but yet…he wanted to…talk to that blond kid. That Uzumaki kid. Gaara has never expressed an interest in any of the students before…makes me wonder…I would be happy…if he had at least one person to open up to…

"Ne, ne, Ka-Kun! Ka-Kun! Is it me, or does this rocker chick seem a little…fake?"

"…Methinks she is avoiding the main point, what I want hear is her speak about that guy, that guy who used to be her boyfriend. What do you make of it, Ge-Kun?"

"I make nothing of it, Ka-Kun; I make nothing of it at all."

"Trying to figure her out should be quite a ball!"

**Temari**: _(sighs)…_

"You know what they say, Ge-Kun, silence is worth a thousand words."

"…Eh? Baka! It's a _toaster oven_ that goes with that saying…!"

"…You're the baka. A toaster oven…come now, Ge-Kun, be serious."

"I am, I am! How dare, how dare you question my genuineness…? Ah, oh good, the toast is done…black and burnt just the way I like it! Would you like some, Ka-Kun?

"…No thanks…baka."

**XXX**

Hinata Hyuuga placed her tray down on the table taking the available seat next to her crush, who was currently holding a heavy textbook to his face, as if hiding behind it from somebody. The heiress blushed as she looked the blond's way before turning her head in the other direction. Tenten sat down across from her and started to speak as she attempted to spread frozen cream cheese over her breakfast bagel.

"So, you guys all went sneaking out and didn't even BOTHER to call me? I missed so many things! Some friends you are," the bun-haired girl stated with a derisive sniff. Ino rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't have snuck out yesterday night even if we had told you; it was cold and Sasuke didn't even show up to Temari's ghost summoning. He just HAD to have some kind of diabetic attack with NARUTO on the one night I was looking especially sexy! Plus, the lot of us have perpetual detention with Ibiki and Anko…_ugh_…"

"…And we DID see some ghosts! I don't know how the fuck she did it, but they were there!" Kiba added specks of eggs and bacon flying out of his mouth and onto Sakura's clothing. The pinkette glared at him, "Don't talk with your mouth full or I'll punch it in, thus horribly disfiguring your _already _hideous face…!"

"Ghosts don't exist," Shikamaru mumbled, still half asleep, "Not enough scientific evidence. It must have been some kind of projection you all fell for."

Kiba crossed his arms, "Tch, you weren't there Mr. I'm-A-Genius. I bet if you had come with, your little 'logical' theory would have been proven wrong…!"

"…Shut up Inuzuka, you're troublesome."

Tenten waved her fork in order to get back the attention, "Hey, hey, did you guys hear about the graffiti? Rumor is some advanced art student was the one behind it. Apparently the school's cameras weren't able to catch the kid."

Chouji took a sip of his orange juice, "What did the graffiti say? Is it still on whatever wall it was painted on?"

Tenten smiled as her voice dropped to a whisper, "It read, R.O.D. It was drawn all huge and artistically…I don't think it's there anymore, however. I saw Headmistress Tsunade complaining about how she wanted it removed as soon as possible."

Kiba slammed a hand down onto the table, "This is obviously the work of an emo advanced art student desperate for attention! Damn those advanced art bastards! We have to stop them and their _creative_ ways before it's too late…!"

"…You're an idiot," Shino said, turning a page in the newspaper that he was reading. Sakura grinned, "Another person agrees with me, score!"

Ino pinched her best friend's side, "Shut up forehead girl, there's something even more important that we need to talk about, like Naruto rescuing Sasuke _and _Naruto's affair with Sasuke's Equally Hot But Totally Gay Older Brother…!"

"Those of the Sasuke Fan club don't hate you _as much_ anymore, by the way. You saved our idol's life, after all," Karin said as she forced herself in between Hinata and Naruto, crossing her legs and smirking lightly. Sakura and Ino both clenched their fists and emitted auras of mass destruction at the bespectacled junior sitting at their table. Shikamaru yawned and complained about how troublesome cat fights and rumors were with Chouji nodding in agreement.

"So…How do you explain these pictures, Uzumaki? You and Sasuke-sama's brother seem to be pretty cozy together. And while you explain that, you can also dish out what you were doing alone in the forest with Sasuke-sama at an ungodly hour of the night," Karin questioned, folding her arms across her chest.

Before Naruto could think of a rude comment to retort with in his defense, he heard his name being called out loudly in front of everyone within the Spokespane cafeteria by an annoyingly familiar voice.

"_Naruto-kun! Naruto-kun_! Look at what I've brought for you!"

Itachi pranced through the crowd of gaping students a taller, more intimidating man with bluish skin trailing right behind him. The elder Uchiha stopped when he reached the table where Naruto sat and placed a bowl of steaming, mouth-watering, miso ramen in front of the blond.

The raven-haired man snatched away the textbook that Naruto held to his face and dropped it to the floor carelessly. "Naru-kun," he said, "You shouldn't hide your pretty face behind such an ugly book! Look, look at what I brought to you for breakfast. Your little roommate told me you were fond of this food. I got you something else as well…Kisame, bring out the books and the phone."

The blue-skinned man sighed as he placed a bag in front of Naruto as well. Inside were various manga, all stacked up, and on top of the Japanese comics laid a brand new, expensive-looking cell phone. Karin and Kiba both fell out of their seats. Naruto pushed the pile of presents away, "I can't accept any of this; I'm sorry Itachi-niichan…it doesn't feel right taking gifts like this from you…"

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! If you don't take the cell phone and manga, then I will!" Kiba exclaimed, clambering up from the floor. Shino rolled up his newspaper and whacked Kiba on top of his head with it in the way one would with a bothersome puppy.

Itachi narrowed his crimson eyes as his previous smile faltered, "What do you mean by 'it doesn't feel right?' This is my way of showing my gratitude toward you for saving my foolish little brother. Do you know how many of your fellow pupils would _love_ to be in your situation, Naruto-kun? You offend me by not taking my gifts with appreciation towards my thanks and charity."

Behind Itachi Kisame grinned and cracked his knuckles as he stared at the blond. "It isn't wise to offend Itachi," he stated darkly. Naruto scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly, "…Ah, I changed my mind! Thanks for the ramen n' stuff, I'll cherish it until the day I die…!"

Itachi turned bubbly again and embraced Naruto once more, "That makes me so happy, Naruto-kun! Now, I'd love to stick around and chat, but I have other things to take care of at the moment. I'll see you later and make sure to do your best today! Come Kisame…!"

As soon as the two members of Akatsuki left the school cafeteria, Hinata Hyuuga, by mistake, knocked over Naruto's bowl of ramen, its continents spilling all over the manga books (and Naruto's crotch). The clumsy girl held the tips of her fingers to her mouth as she gasped softly. She immediately pulled napkins off of the other's trays to clean up the mess, apologizing profusely the entire time. Karin lifted herself off of the floor, making sure to scoot away from the seeping ramen. The cell phone remained unharmed, however, due to Kiba having grabbed it minutes before and passed it around the table to have the others punch their numbers in.

"At least we saved the cell phone. It's the most important thing in life…right next to an iPod and a laptop," Ino announced gravely, receiving a chorus of '_Amen_s' from the others sitting nearby.

**XXX **

_Gai-sensei will be very proud of me! I just broke my previous record time around the track this morning! I was so deeply devoted to training in my passion of the sport that I almost forgot about breakfast and school!!! If I do not make it to the school cafeteria in one minute, then I must run suicides for exactly four hours this afternoon for track! And if I cannot run those suicides, then it's a thousand leg squats!_

The athlete was feeling ambitious today, smiling from ear to ear as he ran quickly down the stairs. Lee was so wrapped up in his enthusiasm and reward for his hard work that he did not see the other person making their way up the stairs. Lee, therefore, knocked the other person back down the stairs in a collision. This other person just so happened to be Gaara.

"Gaara-san! I am so sorry; I wasn't paying attention to where I was going! Are you alright?!" Lee said, fumbling over his words as he grabbed one of Gaara's hands and pulled the redhead up.

It was like picking up a feather. Lee wasn't expecting the redhead to be so light.

"Gaara-san—"

Gaara distanced himself from Lee, made a beeline to the stairs, and left without a single word, Lee watching him silently the entire time.

A minute and thirty seconds had already passed.

**XXX**

Shizune lead the three men behind her to Tsunade's office. The young woman could barely feel her feet; they were numbed from running all over the place doing errands for the Headmistress, greeting parents, and making sure things ran as smoothly as possible. She also suffered from a lack of sleep. However, Shizune had no choice but to put a hundred percent into what she did; a single slip up caught by the wandering eye of a visiting parent would not only risk Tsunade's job, but surely make her lose her own.

"You look tired Shizune; you've been working hard, haven't you? But you're still as lovely as ever," commented one of the gentlemen behind her, in a deep, carefree, rumbling voice.

"Stop flirting with her, you lecherous old fool, it's disgusting," the other man hissed, in a low, imperial tone. The third one remained silent

Shizune only laughed weakly in response, before stopping in front of her mistress's door. She knocked on it twice and heard Tsunade's voice give her the OK before politely ushering the three men inside.

The curvaceous headmistress looked up from the file that she was reading over; her red lips twitching into a small smirk, "Well, well, I wasn't expecting you both to be coming so soon…it's been awhile, Jiraiya, Orochimaru…and you've brought your loyal man slave Kabuto as well? It's a downright party!"

Kabuto adjusted his glasses, frowning at being called a man slave. Jiraiya gave a hearty chuckle, "Well, I've been busy gathering information, writing novels, wooing the lovely young ladies…speaking of which, you still look as if you're in your twenties. How do you do it…?" As he said this, Tsunade noticed her childhood friend staring deliberately at her chest. Jiraiya's face then met with her foot. An argument broke out.

Orochimaru settled himself on one of the chairs within the office, the one farthest away from the windows, crossing his legs and folding his arms across his chest, "Kabuto, go and find me a decent book to read, it may take awhile before we actually do something _productive_."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," the silver-haired young man replied as he excused himself from the room. Just as he left, another person walked in, urgently calling Tsunade's name. The blonde Hokage loosened her fingers around Jiraiya's neck, "Yes, what is it Ebisu…?"

"…Lady Hokage, the Hyuuga family has arrived and Hiashi Hyuuga wishes to speak with you right this moment. Also, the Third has arrived with his grandson. "

Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Very well…Shizune, I leave you in charge of the other matters until I return; it shouldn't be long...hopefully." She followed Ebisu out of her office. Jiraiya cursed under his breath as he walked over to Tsunade's desk and opened one of her drawers. He then smirked as he hit the jackpot: Tsunade's booze stash. He pulled out a bottle and proceeded to open it. "Hey Shizune, is _that _person here yet? Did Tsunade complete the task that she was given?" he asked, between gulps of alcohol.

The dark haired woman nodded, "Yes…here's the information about that person." She handed him a manila envelope and Jiraiya pulled out a picture from it.

"…Ah…this is definitely the right person, no doubt. Wouldn't you agree, you pale-skinned bastard?" Jiraiya stated, showing the picture to Orochimaru who slapped the offensive paper away.

"I hate you," the pallid, snake-like man retorted, "I hate you _very much_."

**XXX**

Hayate Gekkou hacked and coughed for about ten minutes straight. The art teacher was a frail, rather sickly looking man with pale skin and dark bags beneath his drooping eyes.

_As if he were dying_, Sasori thought dully, blank eyes staring back at the advanced art students whom he, Deidara, and Tobi (who obsessively stalked both Deidara and himself) were 'suggested' to visit by Itachi. It was obvious that the aspiring Picassos and Van Goghs were excited to have such profound figures in the art industry step foot in their class.

Hayate finally managed to stop coughing and cleared his throat, "It is an honor to have such significant artists in our class this day. They will be working with you today on your projects and will be giving you some constructive criticism. Be sure to listen to everything that they say and do. You all may begin." The sickly man then began to cough again and excused himself from the room.

Sasori placidly walked over to the student who seemed to be struggling with a joint on the puppet he was working on. Tobi clapped his hands together in joy and began to make his way around the art room (dragging an aggravated Deidara after him), walking up to various students and squealing at every single picture he saw.

"Ah, look at _her_ painting…! Oh and look at _his_! Look, look! Senpai, senpai! Come look at _this _boy's picture, isn't it pretty?! "

"No, it's _not_ pretty, now let me the _fuck _go before I _strangle_ you Tobi, yeah…!"

Sai glanced away from his work, a smudge of magenta on his cheek contrasting sharply with his skin. He moved his paint brush away from the canvas and dipped it into a cup of murky brown water. Smiling, he said to Deidara, "I've seen your art before; it _sucks_."

The blond's visible blue eye, the other hidden by his hair, twitched. Tobi clasped his hands together and took a few steps back, "Senpai is angry, but senpai won't hurt Tobi this time because Tobi's been a good boy…!"

Deidara replied in a clipped voice, "What did you say, you little brat, yeah…?"

"…I said that your art sucks, _bitch_. I'm also guessing you don't have a penis, yeah?" Sai replied, the same plastic smile still etched onto his face, "Because someone who resembles a woman so heavily, couldn't possibly have a—"

"YOU LITTLE FUC—"

Sasori was a master of blocking out Deidara's screeching voice when needed. He found it distasteful that his lover was losing his cool to a mere teenager. The redhead attached a wooden arm to the shoulder joint of the puppet he currently held in his nimble hands. "…You were doing it wrong before. It goes like this," he explained demurely to the person who had awkwardly introduced himself as Kankuro. Sasori, after giving a once over of the puppet, added, "Ah. This one is one of my brands. How is it?"

Kankuro gulped as he purposely avoided staring his idol in the eyes, "It works really well...all of your puppets are great; the ones I make from scratch could never compare to yours. I use them mostly for the drama club and school plays…"

"Hm," the redhead replied, standing from the seat he had taken. He glanced over to where Deidara, being held back by Tobi, was attempting to pluck out the eyes of a dark haired, pale-skinned boy who resembled Sasuke to a certain degree. "Keep making puppets and _perhaps_ yours will surpass mine someday," Sasori said off handily. He ran his fingers through his hair before walking away, leaving behind a completely awed fan boy.

_Screw Temari and her stardom and Gaara with his angst, no offense, but my idol, Sasori of the Akatsuki, just told me that someday I could surpass him in puppetry! I can officially die happy now…_

The face-painted teenager felt as if he was starting to understand why Sasuke Uchiha's fans were so _obsessive…_

**XOXOXO **

_Clank, clank, clank!_

The audience found themselves captivated by the passionate sword battle being performed by the Shadow Boys. Ka-Kun was relentlessly pushing the defensive Ge-Kun back, wooing the ladies and gents with his superb sword skills. One of the two that sat in the front row jumped out of their seat and shouted, "C'mon Ge-Kun, try harder, I know you can win…!"

_Clank, clank, clank…!_

"Oh my, oh my Ka-Kun, did you not say you picked up this habit yesterday? You're so skilled and so sharp; you're simply just blowing me away…!" Ge-Kun announced, both hands gripping tightly to the hilt of his sword, blocking Ka-Kun's sword with his own and preventing himself from getting sliced.

"I tell no lie, but you'll never be able to get by; at this staggering rate, you could possibly die," Ka-Kun replied. He had Ge-Kun trapped against a wall on the other side of their stage, the tip of his sword pressing against the flesh of Ge-Kun's neck. Ge-Kun visibly gulped.

"Touché, my darling Ka-Kun," Ge-Kun stated, pulling a type of flower from his pocket and placing it between his lips.

"…A rose? What's the meaning of this?" Ka-Kun questioned, sword sliding down Ge-Kun chest. The sound of buttons falling to the floor echoed throughout the theater

"…It means I never promised you a rose garden," Ge-Kun replied softly before knocking Ka-Kun's sword from his hand. He picked up the fallen sword and rammed both his and his enemy's weapon mercilessly into Ka-Kun's chest. Blood splattered everywhere and Ka-Kun fell to his knees, gasping for sweet air.

"…I win," Ka-Kun wheezed out, both palms pressed firmly against the ground. He chuckled.

"Ne? Ka-Kun, weren't we supposed to talk about those juicy confessionals?"

**XOXOXO**

To tell the truth, Kakashi Hatake was not fond of teenagers in the way Iruka (aliases including Mother Hen and Phin-Phin-chan) was. Especially wealthy, moody teenagers with raging hormones and wicked voices in their developing minds that instructed them to rebel against _The Man_ (or in this case, The _Wo_man) and his (her) Rules.

Kakashi Hatake was also _thoroughly_ pissed off at the fact that more than half of his students were the ones responsible from postponing what would have been a lovely romp with his dearest Phin-Phin-chan followed by some late night _Icha Icha_ reading and well deserved rest. And for that, all of his darling Philosophy students would _pay_.

**XXX**

_Hm…Sasuke wasn't in Japanese today and it looks like he's not showing up for Philosophy either…the last time I saw him he seemed okay enough…maybe the doctors at the Wellness Center are just keeping him there to make sure he's alright or something…when I see him, I'll have to ask how to politely get away from his brother's black-painted claws…_

Naruto sighed as he flashed back to earlier in the day when Itachi gave Naruto a red and white pin of the Uchiha family crest to wear on his uniform, offered to paint his nails, and then hugged him near to death. Rumors flew around Spokespane like wildfire and the constant questions were nonstop. No matter how vehemently the blond denied it, more than half of the student body was convinced that he and the elder Uchiha were (twitch) _boyfriends_.

"Are you alright, Naruto-kun? Your face is all red," Haku asked in concern. Naruto snapped out of his thoughts and blinked as he took in the cross-dresser's appearance. Haku did not look as pristine as he usually did: there was stubble on his legs and his hair was haphazardly thrown into a ponytail. The corners of Haku's eyes were also red, as if he had been crying.

"…I'm fine, but are you alright? You don't look so good…not in an ugly way though! Just a…messy way…did something happ—"

"I'm very well," Haku stated sharply, and then his pitch softened, "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I just feel a bit sick…I'll feel better in no time."

Naruto nodded, "Oh…okay then…but remember Haku: if you need me to kick somebody's ass, I'll be more than happy to!" He smiled brightly and Haku couldn't help but smile in return. Their bonding moment was disturbed, however, by Sakura coming in between them. The pinkette grabbed the taller blond by his shoulders and spun him around so that he faced her. Naruto's jaw dropped at the sight of her. Sakura's hair was combed and shiny, she had on clear lip gloss and was dressed in the girl's uniform...

…and she looked even _prettier_ in it.

"I need your help Uzumaki and I need it NOW. It's a life or _death_ situation!" Sakura exclaimed, shaking Naruto insistently. The blond nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I'll help you, Sakura-chan. What do you need me to do? Just please stop shaking me, I'm getting dizzy…"

Sakura placed her hands back down by her sides, "Sorry…my bad…and me looking girly is the very issue here! The only reason I'm dressing like this is because my parents just arrived here and if I'm doing anything 'suspicious' they'll try to take me out of here! They think I'm a lesbian for some reason…"

Naruto tilted his head and blinked, "…_Aren't you_…?"

"…That's NOT the point! The point _is _that I have to make it seem as if I'm not a raging lesbo…that's why I'm going to ask you to be my Secret Agent Lover Man."

"…Your _what_?!"

"…Sorry, book reference…I mean, I need you to be my _pretend_ boyfriend. I can't ask any of the other guys because my parents know I would never date them…but they don't know about you yet. Please…?"

The blond grinned, "I would be stupid to say no! Of course I'll be your boyfriend Sakura-chan; I'll be the best boyfriend on the face of the Earth!" He patted the top of Sakura's head lightly, causing the girl to realize just how much _taller_ he was than her…and how mushy his smile was making her feel. There was just _something _about him that she couldn't point out…

"…Thanks Naruto. You're a nice guy…just…make sure to stay this way, okay? If you change even _one_ bit, I will kick your ass. And…even though we're not a real couple, I'm sure you'll find someone more deserving and make them the happiest damn person on Earth one of these days…"

The blond blushed and scratched the back of his head, at a loss for words, "Uh…thanks Sakura-chan…that's…nice of you to say…"

An awkward silence lingered in between them.

Inner Sakura snorted, _Why are you being so over-romantic? Show some spine woman, SHANNARO! Remember what happened the last time you got so sentimental…?_

Sakura mentally told her inner raging bitch to fuck off.

**OOO**

Kakashi walked into his classroom holding his usual cup of coffee and a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, "Settle down kids and get into your seats, class is starting now. Sorry I'm late; you see there was a haunted scarecrow…"

"_Liar_!" both Naruto and Sakura accused at the same time.

Tenten sat down next to Lee "Class should have started twenty minutes ago," she murmured before glancing at her friend whose gaze was currently focused on Gaara.

"So, class," the silver-haired man said pleasantly as he placed his cookies and coffee down (never had a student witnessed him eat these foods; they always seemed to disappear somehow by the end of class), "I'm assigning you all group projects in which I will assign you to teams that _I _pick out. Any questions? None? Good, first team…Uzumaki, Haruno, Uchiha…ah…looks like Uchiha isn't here today. Make sure one of you let him know…next team…"

Naruto and Sakura fumed in silence as other names were called out and similar reactions followed. After Kakashi had finished pairing everyone off (and intentionally pissing off most of his class), he picked up a piece of chalk and started to write on the board.

"Remember our in-class discussion about love the other day? Well, that's what your project is going to be based on. You are to develop your own sound theory on love involving facts, figures, quotes, bits and pieces from other philosophers we've talked about this year…anything to come up with your own definition and make it one worth listening to. I also want a forty page paper written on it with kick ass visuals to boot. You'll have to present your theory to the class the week before your holiday break."

Ino stood up, "Kakashi, that's ridiculous! Who's going to have the time to do all of that?! And what if we don't agree with the perceptions of the others in our group? I mean, Shikamaru's…just _look _at him!"

Shikamaru Nara lay asleep at his desk, shiny spittle spilling from the corner of his mouth.

Kakashi smiled in his special way, "Well, all of that is not my problem now, is it, Miss Yamanaka? If you all can't handle the work, then leave my class."

The complaints quieted down after that. Most students figured that their teacher must not have gotten any from Umino the night before.

**OOO**

After waving goodbye to his friends (some of which had detention with not only Anko but Ibiki as well as their punishment for the previous night's escapade; he was free from punishment entirely due to Itachi) Naruto walked the quickly emptying hallways without a specific destination in mind. He had an entire hour to himself before his mandatory soccer practice.

_Well, I can always get started on my homework in the library…that reminds me…there's something I've been meaning to ask Sasuke's brother…I wonder if he remembers that day…because if he does and Sasuke claims he doesn't, then I'll definitely know the bastard has issues…_

"…Naruto," murmured a voice next to the blond. Naruto looked up from the ground to see Sasuke by his side, looking as girly and expressionless as ever. Their arms brushed against one another and Naruto decided that they were too close. The blond created space between them before replying, "What in the hell do you want, you crazy diabetic teme?"

Sasuke replied, "…A lot of things. And at the moment, you're in _the way_."

Naruto did a double take at that and, before he realized what was going on, Sasuke grabbed one of his wrists and pulled him close once more, spinning him around and slamming his body against the lockers on the opposite wall. The back of his skull collided painfully with the cold metal.

"_Sasuke, what the fuc_—"

And before Naruto knew it, Sasuke was kissing him.

Their mouths met and separated; the blond closed his eyes and mumbled something unintelligent though Sasuke didn't bother to listen as he dove in to kiss him again, this time using his tongue. Sasuke's fingers dug into Naruto's hips; he pushed the blond up against the wall so that they could crush their bodies closer together. 

_Click. _

Cerulean eyes flew open as something cold and tight suddenly clamped down on both of his wrists. Sasuke's dark hair obscured his vision for only a moment more as the raven-haired teen pulled away, a self-satisfied smirk evident upon his face. Naruto looked down at his hands.

"…What the fuck Sasuke?! You kiss me and then you handcuff me?! What in the hell is your PROBLEM?!" The Uchiha only rolled his eyes as he pulled out a roll of grey duct tape and moved his face close to Naruto's once again, "You talk too much, dobe…"

**OOO**

Minutes later, Naruto was kicking and screaming through his taped mouth as Sasuke unceremoniously dropped his body to the floor and fished some keys out of his pocket. The blond was now immobile due to the fact that the psychotic little shit had taped his legs together as well as handcuffed him. The raven-haired teenager opened a door with the keys and began to pull Naruto's squirming body into the closet.

"…I don't appreciate you trying to take my place dobe. I have no idea why my aniki holds any interest in you but it ends now. No one ever comes to this part of school. No one will hear you and no one will know where you've disappeared to…and when someone does find you, they'll only discover your bones laced with spider webs."

Blue eyes glared at Sasuke with absolute hatred and aversion. Naruto propelled himself forward to try and knock the Uchiha down, but only fell pathetically onto a pile of dusty boxes. Sasuke stepped out of the closet, "Goodbye, usuratonkachi." Sasuke closed the door. Naruto heard him lock it, and after that there was just pure darkness.

The blond could still taste the now revolting flavor of Sasuke's cigarettes within his mouth.

**XX X End Act XXX **

**Bonus Act Five: Snakes**

"So, teme, did you see our new second opening song for the Shippuuden?"

"…Yes. And what of it usuratonkachi?"

"…You were being molested/crucified by Orochimaru's snakes."

"…"

"…?"

"…I got paid extra for that dobe, and that's all there is to it."

"…I thought it looked kind of hot. Would you mind using your snake-jutsu thing in bed tonight?"

"…"

"…???"

"…Only if you use your kage bunshin"

"…Deal."

**Bonus Act Five and a Half: Model**

"…Hey, Sai, how come the third Shippuuden ending theme song is dedicated to you?! _I'm_ the fucking main character!"

"...It's because I used to be an international model and the directors figured that I should be allowed to show off my talent for the fans. Plus, Kishimoto has a thing for pale boys such as me and Sasuke-kun, Dickless."

"…Doesn't Kishimoto love me?!"

"…Only when you're overly sexed up in Kyuubi form."

"…"

"…"

"…You aren't really a model. Neji's more model-ly looking than you are. I don't believe you, you fake-smiling bastard."

"…Okay then. I'll prove it to you."

And then Sai proceeded to give Naruto a lap dance. And Sasuke found out and punched Sai before beating the shit out of Naruto. And Itachi cried because he really doesn't support violence. And Neji comforted Itachi which made everyone go, "WTF?!"

And then they lived happily ever after. _Good times, whoo_.

**XXX**

**Z/N: **There goes my little crackish satire for the week! Wow, this was originally like, 15 pages and somehow it morphed to 27. I write a lot (sweatdrop). The oh-so-adorable nickname of Phin-Phin for Iruka originates from my lovely beta, Miss Cat, and so I give her props. Remember to review and give me your opinions because it's the other half to the reason of why I write, okay? And keep on trying to guess who the Shadow Boys are, it's honestly NOT that hard!!!

Lee: (cheerleading outfit) YES! USE THE FULL POWERFUL OF YOUR YOUTHFUL KNOWLEDGE TO GUESS!!! (waves pom-poms)

Gai: I'm so proud of you Lee…! (sniffles)

Gaara: (eyes Lee's otufit with slight interest)

Naruto: I want an outfit… (pouts)

Sasuke: …Hn…(Translated: I'd like to see you in one dobe…)

Zana: GROUP HUG! (stretches out arms)

(Is met with silence)

Zana: …Mou… (pouts) That's why I like the Akatsuki better, isn't that right Tobi?

Tobi: Obito/Madara is a good boy… (dark voice)

Rest of Akatsuki: (take a step back)

Ge-Kun and Ka-Kun: (behind their little curtain) (waves)

Kiba: Let's use ALL of our ninja skill and cunning and capture those freaky bastards!

Naruto Cast (except for the cool guys like Sasuke , Neji, Gaara, and Kakashi): YEAH! (all rush onstage and tear down curtains with weapons, courtesy of Tenten)

_Three minutes later…_

Sakura: Damn it, they got away! (clutches curtain cloth in left hand)

Naruto: (panting) Don't worry Sakura-chan, we'll just attack them the next chapter, while they perform their little play thing….!

Ino: (whines) Sai, you got INK in my hair; do you know how long it'll take to wash out?

Sai: No, nor do I really care… (fake smile)

Ino: (anger tick) _You…!_

Sasuke: (calmly sips tea at a table) This isn't half bad Hyuuga…

Hinata: (blush)

**Next Act:**** Faux Pas **

_So, will Naru-kun rot inside of the closet? Will anyone find him? What's up with Gaara? Will Sasu-hime's jealousy feed off his sanity? And what's going down at Thanksgiving? Does our favorite dog-loving boy have a trick or two up his sleeve? Find out all of this and more in the next chapter…!_

Until next time…

_Ja ne!_


	7. Act Seven: Faux Pas

**Z/N: **I have nothing witty or clever, or anything that has to do with torturing the imaginary characters of Kishi-san's awesome manga. But I will say this: **ENJOY THE CHAPTER!** It's LONG, _dattebayo_! And **REVIEW!** Pretty, nice, **LONG REVIEWS**! _Please and thank you!_ (bows humbly)

**XXX**

**Genres**: Allegory/Drama/Humor/Romance/Angst/Dark

**Rating**: Mature overall; this chapter is more like PG-16 (Yay for fanservice!)

**Warnings**: Spoilers all over if you're not up to date with the Shippuuden/Part 2 episodes/manga. I'm using the Shippuuden saga as reference to their looks/ages. And I will admit; there's slight OOC-ness, it's an AU/high school fic. Sounds original _right?_ Believe it or not, this ficcage _is_. _BELIEVE IT!_

**Pairings**: **NARUSasuNaru** plus **many **others explored, hinted at and so forth.

_THANK YOU REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU! _

_THANK YOU MISS SHY7CAT…I WILL GLADLY HAVE YOUR KITTENS!_

_XD _

**XXX**

**Spokespane Trivia, Part Two**

_Starring Jiraiya and Orochimaru (with Kabuto)_

_(Hey, you two, stop bickering like kids, you're going live right…NOW!)_

**Jiraiya**: (sitting next to Orochimaru behind a large table littered with papers, folders, and pens. Two microphones have been placed in front of them) Welcome to today's lovely installment of Spokespane Trivia, starring the one and only, mega-handsome and thoroughly experienced in the ways of love, JIRAIYA…! (grins)

**Orochimaru**: (scowls) You're such an idiot, Jiraiya. I can't even begin to understand how you are able to survive and function in this world… (hiss)

**Jiraiya**: (anger tick) Freaky snake bastard. Whose sick idea was it to pair me with you in the first place? Anyway, today we're going to be giving everyone some background information on the prestigious families that attend Tsunade's school…I must say, the female population at Spokespane has grown to be quite _impressive_, hehehe…

**Orochimaru**: (rolls eyes) You're _disgusting_.

**Jiraiya**: (glares) As if you and your obsession with younger men isn't? We all know that's the only reason why you keep Kabuto around; you're lonely _and _desperate…!

**Naruto**: (from his lonesome seat in the audience) (waves pen and notebook around) Hey, you old perverts; I'm not learning a damn thing…!

**Orochimaru**: (clears throat) Moving on…let's start with the Uchihas…

**Jiraiya**: (snorts) (grumbles) Of course you'd start with them. How long have you been chasing after Itachi…?

**Orochimaru**: KABUTO, TURN ON THE PROJECTOR, NOW…! (hisses and glares at Jiraiya)

**Kabuto**: Of course, Orochimaru-sama (flips switch to display a very suggestive, Uchihacest-istic, photograph of Itachi and Sasuke who are holding on to each other very closely)

**Naruto**: (stares and drools for about five minutes) (snaps out of it) Ewwwww…! I totally wasn't checking them out…no…really I wasn't…! You believe me, right?! RIGHT?! (in denial about his inherent bisexuality)

**Jiraiya**: _My eyes_…and…you call me sick, Orochimaru?

**Orochimaru**: (serious face) I see nothing wrong with the picture. In fact; I think it's a very nice picture of the Uchiha brothers. They are the only ones left of their family, ever since Mikoto and Fugaku Uchiha lost their lives to that fire…Itachi's been the one to take over his father's work and I must say he does a remarkable job of doing so. I'm sure that Sasuke-kun will someday follow in his brother's footsteps…sans the flamboyance.

**Jiraiya**: Ah, but they don't get along all that well, do they? I bet it must be hard for Sasuke…having to live up to such greatness as well as dealing with his diabetes, wouldn't you say so Orochimaru?

**Orochimaru**: Hmm, perhaps…at least he shares in his brother's good genes… (trails off suggestively)

**Naruto**: (brain has several tiny explosions) Ew…

**Jiraiya**: Moving ON…Kabu_ho_, put in the slide for the next family, eh?

**Kabuto**: I am _not _Orochimaru-sama's whore…

**Orochimaru**, **Jiraiya**, and **Naruto**: _Yes you are._

**Kabuto**: (glare) … (puts in the next slide which is of the Hyuuga family. It is a black and white photo of Hiashi Hyuuga standing next to a very beautiful woman with dark hair. In front of them stands Hinata, who is frowning and looking away, Neji, whose face remains expressionless, and a third, younger, female whom resembles Hiashi greatly)

**Orochimaru**: Ah, the Hyuugas...they almost all look the same with their distinct white eyes…

**Jiraiya**: Indeed…the Hyuugas are the strangest family I've ever seen. They're extremely traditional and strict about the rules concerning them. For example, there is the Main House, which rules over the family and the Branch House who are rumored to merely be the servants of the Main House despite being family…Neji-kun and his father, who was the twin brother of Hiashi, are both members of the Branch House. Maybe this would explain why he is so protective over the Main House heiress Hinata…she sure is gorgeous, just like her late mother…

**Orochimaru**: And let's not forget the second daughter, Hanabi Hyuuga. She shows much more leadership potential than her older sister Hinata…and Neji-kun shows the most potential out of all of them…

**Jiraiya**: Humph. I'm not really a big fan of those Hyuugas…but since Neji is not a Main House member…he will never…

**Naruto**: (stands up and waves his pen and notebook around madly) Hey, shut up you old pervert, don't say things like that! People can do whatever the hell they want when they put their minds to it and you can't say anything otherwise! (passion and determination burns in those pretty blue eyes)

**Orochimaru**: Oh, go and get _bent _you annoying brat… (scowls)

**Jiraiya**: (thinks) _He's just like his…_

**Zana**: (runs onstage with a microphone and earpiece) Time to start the chapter! We're in for a long one mates…! (waves a red flag) We totally missed the Thanksgiving mark, but it's all good! Yosh!

**Naruto**: But I'm not finished learning about everyone's families nor am I done chewing out those two freaks up there! When will I get a chance to speak out and do something cool?

**Zana**: You'll learn a lot more Naruto-kun, and your time will come to shine soon enough! Patience is a virtue…! (wags finger) Wanna go and get some ramen?

**Naruto**: I can never say no to free ramen! Lead the way weirdo author lady! (skips away merrily to Ichiraku's with Zana)

**Jiraiya**: (looks at Orochimaru)

**Orochimaru**: (plays with his hair)

**Kabuto**: (stabs needles into miniature Itachi and Sasuke voodoo dolls)

**XXX**

People to whom nothing has ever happened cannot understand the unimportance of events.

A play should give you something to think about. When I see a play and understand it the first time, then I know it can't be much good.

-_T.S. Eliot_

**XXX**

"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright; who art as black as hell, as dark as night."

- _Sonnet CXLVII_ by William Shakespeare

**XXX**

**Masquerade**

**Act Seven: Faux Pas**

_(A Social Blunder)_

Neji held his breath and stared at a spot on the wall behind his uncle's head; he felt the stirrings of a migraine in his temples.

_I should be at fencing practice right now and Hinata-sama should be at swimming_, the Branch House member thought distractedly. Neji would rather be anywhere else at the moment instead of stuck inside his uncle's temporary room at Spokespane under the scrutiny of Hiashi's unwavering white stare, suffering his younger cousin Hanabi's malicious smile in silence.

Hinata sat beside Neji, looking down at her anxiously moving fingers (she habitually played with them when nervous), waiting for her father to break the weighty silence they had been ensnared in for the past ten minutes. She swallowed thickly, glanced at Neji, and then stared at her fingers once more. Flakes of skin were peeling away from them due to the fact that they were exposed to chlorine and slightly acidic pool water each day. Her hair was not faring any better. She sighed softly.

"Neji-niisan," Hanabi stated sweetly, twirling a lock of brown hair between her fingers, "Have you been watching over my big sister? She doesn't look all that well. Wouldn't you agree father?"

Hinata's head shot up as she quickly answered, "I'm fine Hanabi…rea…really, I am…I'm…just a little tired is all…it's been a long day."

Hiashi kept his unyielding eyes on his nephew, "Hinata, Hanabi was not asking _you_ this, she was asking _Neji_ and as a member of the Branch House he must do _anything_ required of him from the Main House." The emphasis placed on certain words burned deeply into the back of Neji's skull; this lecture was all too familiar.

"So tell me Neji, why has my daughter been tired? What have you done to place less stress on the heiress and future leader of the Main House?"

Neji replied in a detached tone, "Hinata-sama is enrolled in many high-level courses, as am I. These courses are known to give out a substantial amount of work and along with this work; Hinata-sama must also worry about her performance on our school's swim team as well as her other extracurricular activities. These could be the causes of her weariness. I have been doing my best to aid and support her in order to make these things less of a burden on her, Hiashi-sama, Hanabi-sama. I hope my answer pleases the both of you."

Hinata clasped her hands together and held them against her chest, closing her eyes. She wished for this to be all over, for Thanksgiving to come and go so that her father could _leave_.

"Please…please Otou-san…don't….don't…make Neji-niisan so worried over…over me…he's even…busier than…than I am…he leads a lot of activities here at school and gets high scores…and…I barely get to see him and I think…I think…"

"…_I never promised the bird a rose garden…" _

The next few seconds happened in a blur. Hiashi stood up. Hanabi covered her mouth, hiding a gleeful grin. Hinata gasped audibly…

…and then came the slap. The sound of Hiashi's hand hitting Neji's face resounded across the room. Neji's head jerked to the side as a large, red mark began to blossom upon the side of his abused face.

_It doesn't hurt like it did before…why…?_ The Branch House member thought distractedly. Red trickled down from his nose and pooled around his upper lip.

"A Branch House member always makes time for a Main House member," Hiashi stated coldly, his lips in a firm, grim line. Bubbles of laughter threatened to spill from Hanabi's mouth.

Hinata averted her eyes. The corners of her lips twitched.

"…_I never promised the bird a rose garden…" _

**XXX**

Sasori knew that his herbal tea was already lukewarm. He held his white mug with both hands and stared listlessly into the container's murky continents, debating whether he should throw away the offensive tea or have Tobi bring to him another cup. Other things were on the redhead's mind as well, more important things than the state of his tea.

He currently sat at a small, round table located conveniently on the balcony just outside of his and Deidara's room. It gave him a perfect view of the school's vast grounds and natural beauty: the gold and red leaves lingering in the trees, the various athletic fields and old buildings that made up the campus. Spokespane appeared to have the kind of rustic yet formal image that one would normally see on the front of a post card.

"Sasori-danna, it seems that Jiraiya-san and Orochimaru-san are both here. Hidan and Kakuzu have arrived as well, yeah," Deidara announced, breaking the puppeteer's peaceful silence as the blond artist joined him on the balcony. The both of them were wearing their matching black, crimson cloud decorated, cloaks: the trademark of their involvement within the Akatsuki. Deidara didn't bother to take a seat; he instead leaned lazily against the balcony railing, taking in the view the school had to offer.

"Hm. And what of Pein and Konan?"

"They're supposed to arrive on Thanksgiving Day, along with Zetsu."

"I see," was Sasori's curt reply. A small span of silence lingered between the two men, before Deidara's deep voice broke it once again, "I don't understand Itachi's strange obsession with that Uzumaki child. Doesn't he know it bothers Sasuke-kun greatly?" A blue eye glanced over to where his red haired lover sat staring at the liquid in the cup held between his graceful fingers.

"…Itachi is a strange individual. The real question is…how can we successfully complete our mission with so many bothersome people in the way?"

Sasori felt Deidara's hands, surprisingly rough from work on the blond's many sculptures and other artistic ventures, settle on his shoulders and squeeze them gently. The blond spoke lowly in his ear, "An opening will grace us soon enough. Stop being such a serious worry wart, yeah…"

Sasori's cup of lukewarm tea spilled onto the table as he allowed his lips, tongue, and teeth to become occupied with something much warmer.

**XXX**

"_That's wonderful news darling! You've finally caught a man! We absolutely have to meet him…although I'm sure he can never be as good as Sasuke Uchiha…it's a shame you __**weren't pretty**__**enough**__ to hold his attention for long…"_

_Mrs. Haruno reached a hand out to stroke her daughter's short, choppy hair. She then sighed in discontent, "All of your potential's __**wasted away**__…you're very lucky this boy can see something in you besides__** your large forehead**__…can't you cover it up with bangs or something…?"_

_Mr. Haruno pushed up his glasses, the light reflected sharply upon them, "Bring him to our room after your sports practice. Dress appropriately and do not keep your mother and me waiting, Sakura."_

"_Yes father," Sakura replied demurely while Inner Sakura burned down buildings, tossed furniture, and cursed up an epic storm. _

The new, more feminine version of Sakura Haruno crossed her arms over her nearly flat chest and chewed on the bottom of her glossed up lip. There had been no sign of Naruto since Philosophy class. Not even Kiba or Sai had a clue as to where the loud blond had disappeared to. It made Sakura worry.

Ino whacked her best friend on the head with the handle of her lacrosse stick. Sakura snapped out of her thoughts and glared heatedly, "What the hell was _that _for Miss Piggy?!"

"There's something wrong with you…besides the way you've decided to comb your hair, Miss Five Fingered Forehead. You've been as silent as _Gaara,_ missing shots, cradling sloppily, and not catching the ball all practice. The other girls on the team look up to you and the last thing you need is to be sucking in front of _them_. So you'd better either suck up whatever's been bothering you or tell me so that I can put an end to it," Ino explained, unconsciously cradling her stick back and forth in front of her.

Sakura _hated_ it when Ino was right. Sakura also hated how Ino wore those black short-shorts and the matching tank top that always revealed a patch of smooth, flat tummy despite the fact that it was freezing and that all the other girls on the team were dressed in sweatpants and sweatshirts.

_Fucking tease_, Inner Sakura growled.

"…I'm fine; I'm just not up on my A game today. It happens to even the best of athletes. And…why are you being so…_caring_?"

Ino tilted her head, blond ponytail bouncing lightly behind her, "Because your parents are here and you hate them and I can relate to you on that level, Sakura."

The pink haired girl stared at her friend, "Ino…"

"…_You stole Sasuke-kun away from me! It's not fair…! I…I…don't ever want to be your friend again, __**slut**__. You self-centered __**bitch**__!"_

"_Fine by me Ino, see if I care! You're dead to me!" _

The piercing sound of the coach's whistle and the _swoosh_ of a speeding lacrosse ball flying in between their faces brought the two girls back to their present reality.

**XXX**

Sasuke Uchiha sat atop his brother's bed, the tips of his fingers digging into the silky smooth crimson sheets. Even though his brother's associate also shared this room, the fragrance lingering throughout it belonged wholly to his brother.

"…Aniki," he repeated sourly for the twelfth time in three minutes. Itachi did not look away from his mirror, as he continued to comb his shiny, dark hair. The elder Uchiha was currently dressed in only dark slacks.

"Otouto, since when were you in my room?"

"I've been here for the past thirty minutes. Kisame allowed me in. Stop ignoring m—"

"Where is Naruto-kun? Is he at his sports practice? Shouldn't you be at _yours_?"

Sasuke stood up; his hands clenched into fists by his sides, "_Fuck_ you," he spat furiously at his older brother and then made his way toward the door. Just as the tips of his fingers brushed against the brass doorknob, he heard his brother reply huskily, "Do you _really_ want me to?"

Sasuke's fingers twitched in reflex. Itachi smirked as he rose up from his seat by his mirror with all of the elegance of royalty and sauntered over to where his brother stood. Itachi rested his hands on Sasuke's shoulders and allowed them to slide down to the younger Uchiha's narrow waist.

"Look at me…_Sasuke_," Itachi crooned, his lips silkily pronouncing each syllable of his baby brother's name. Sasuke shivered and tilted his head backwards so that he could stare up at his brother. Itachi's long, dark tresses tickled Sasuke's face as his brother began to close the gap between them. Sasuke's studious eyes took in every aspect of his brother's handsome face, from Itachi's long, thick, dark lashes, to his high cheekbones and smoldering scarlet eyes.

_He's finally paying attention to me and __**only**__ me…our lips are only centimeters apart…I can feel his breath roll across my face…_

Itachi's smirk grew wider, "Just kidding."

He pushed Sasuke away from his body and tapped the center of Sasuke's forehead with two fingers. The younger Uchiha, in surprise, stumbled until his back hit the door. Itachi crossed his arms and flipped his hair back with a sharp movement of his head, "Foolish little brother, did you _actually _believe that _I _would—"

But before Itachi could finish his sentence, Sasuke left, slamming the door so hard that it left a solid crack in the wall and caused a vase to fall off of its perch and shatter.

**XXX**

_Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action_

_This was once said by W.J. Cameron. _

_And the grand feast was to take place at 'morrow's eve._

**XXX**

Sakura sighed softly as she stood in front of Naruto's room. She felt tired and lethargic, which was highly usual for her after a rousing lacrosse practice. She had to go visit her parents in exactly three minutes and there still had been no sign of her pretend boyfriend.

Her tall, blond haired, blue-eyed, totally nice and likable pretend boyfriend from whom she believed she was suffering from kind of Ramen-Loving Idiot Withdrawal.

She knocked on the door and waited. A moment later, the door opened and Sakura's eyes grew as wide as saucers. She found herself face to face with Sai who was all dripping wet and basically _naked _save for the dark blue towel wrapped around his waist.

She could see the basic outline of his…his…_man thing_. Yeah…

"You can stop staring Haruno. I'm not interested in ugly hags," Sai stated, a false smile appearing on his face at once. Sakura frowned and turned her head the other way, "And I'm not into pale, scrawny assholes. Have you seen or gotten any word from Naruto?"

"No, I haven't," Sai replied, "He must be hiding from your hideous face, ne?"

The pinkette kept her fisted hands at bay and sighed again.

"…As much as I'm going to regret this later…Sai…I…kind of...need you to be my temporary boyfriend…yeah." Sakura mustered up a phony grin of her own.

Inner Sakura screamed, "I'm going to SLAUGHTER that IDIOT for going _M.I.A_, SHANNARO! Sai's TOTALLY disgusting; I think I'm going to fucking VOMIT!"

…And Sai nodded in agreement, "Yes Haruno, you are going _definitely _regret this later."

**XXX **

"I don't know you," Kakuzu, yet another member of Akatsuki, remarked as he watched his white-haired partner Hidan corner three freshman girls outside of the school's main office. The violet-eyed man shook what appeared to be a religious book of sorts in their faces.

"Fuck all of those other mainstream religions; what the three of you need is to pray to the almighty Jashin. It is only then will you all will truly be saved! You must shed blood, tons of blood, and that is only so God will pay even the slightest attention to you! Now if you get buckets full of blood going…it's a huge fucking party, catch my drift?"

The freshman girls all held onto each other and screamed, obviously terrified by this religious zealot and his crazed ramblings. Kakuzu decided to fill his head with much more pleasant thoughts, thoughts about money and how much his business was currently making…

"I'd suggest you back away from those poor girls if you want to avoid the wrath of Tsunade. The last thing she needs to hear is that her precious students are being harassed by psychopaths," spoke a cool and collected voice. Hidan turned his back on the girls (who scrambled away) and stood face to face with Orochimaru. The pale-skinned man was dressed in a dark blue kimono which was being held together by a velvety purple sash in the middle. Behind him stood Kabuto, who held a matching umbrella over his master's head. Kakuzu held back his overwhelming urge to laugh. Hidan did not.

"What's all this for? Afraid the _artificial lighting_ will give your skin some color? Damn Kabuto, he sure has you whipped, eh?"

The bespectacled young man glared, "Do you know who you are addressing in such a casual manner? You'd best mind your tongue before I—"

Orochimaru held a hand up and shook his head, "Ah, just relax Kabuto. You needn't waste your breath on trash like these two. Idiots like them are the reason why I left the Akatsuki," he simpered. Hidan snarled, "Want to be my next ritual _sacrifice_, snake?"

"Not really," Orochimaru replied coolly, "Although I am curious as to why so many Akatsuki members are gathering here at once…I know it isn't because all of you are so fond of Sasuke-kun. Are you all—?"

Kakuzu merely snorted, "Come Hidan, we've wasted enough time talking with these two. Sasori and Deidara are expecting us." The two Akatsuki members walked away from the ex-member. Orochimaru smiled to himself, "Come along Kabuto."

Orochimaru's loyal follower adjusted his glasses and watched his master in silent bewilderment.

**XXX**

Shino watched his _Pholcidae_ spider (more commonly known as a "Daddy Long Legs") skitter along the palm of his hand, its long legs tickling the surface of his skin. He felt that Simon was getting a little too fat. He would have to cut down on his meals.

"…Shino, can you please put away your little friends? I think you're freaking out Tenten," Kiba's voice suddenly announced from behind him. The brunet peeked over his roommate's shoulder and commented, "Your spider looks like it's getting a bit chubby, eh?"

Shino had never been more grateful that the clothing he wore outside of his uniform properly hid his face.

The brunette girl sitting in the far corner glared, "I'm not scared Inuzuka. Don't make me steal Akamaru away from you. Isn't that right _Aki-chan_?"

The white puppy barked and ran away from Kiba's side, choosing instead to hop into Tenten's open arms. Kiba huffed, "Akamaru, come back to daddy! C'mon boy! I have your favorite doggy treats!"

"Bribery won't save you now Inuzuka, Aki-chan seems very comfortable on my lap…"

"…_AKAMARU…!" _

Shino used this distraction to place Simon back in his cage and stealthily sneak into the bathroom without Kiba's noticing.

Chouji watched as Shikamaru stared outside a window in slouched position, chin resting in an open palm, deep in thought. To anyone else it might have seemed as if the lazy genius was merely rapt in his cloud-watching. The chubby teenager cleared his throat and asked, "Hey Shikamaru…what are you thinking about?"

"…I think Uzumaki might be in trouble."

The background noise of Kiba yelling, Tenten giggling, and Akamaru barking came to a halt. Kiba dropped his fists and stared incredulously at Shikamaru, "Do you really think so?"

"…I _know_ so. The clues add up. This is why I propose that we go and find him, despite the fact that it's going to be troublesome."

"Okay, I'm in for finding Uzumaki. But after we do find 'im, how many people are willing to take part in Operation Destroy Thanksgiving?"

"You had that same plan last year. Didn't it, you know, _fail_?" Tenten asked.

"Well…_yeah_."

Chouji, Shikamaru, and Tenten wordlessly stood up and began to leave the room. Kiba pouted, "Fine! Be like that you guys, but when my lovely plan works this year, I'm sure all of you are going to sit there and say, 'Wow, Kiba's so badass, I wish I had joined in on the fun!'"

"Tch, more like, 'Bye Kiba, sucks that you got expelled!'"

"…_Argh!" _

**XOXOXO**

In the center of the stage stood the proud outline of a motorcycle, upon which Ka-Kun was perched. He rested his head on top of the handlebars.

"Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun…!"

From the left side of the stage, Ge-Kun came running out, holding something in his right hand, "EXTRAAA, EXTRAAA, read all about IT! Guess what KA-Kun, guess what? You can't go anywhere on that bike of yours without your keys…!"

Ge-Kun stopped in front of the machinery and dangled the keys above Ka-Kun's head. Ka-Kun chuckled, "Would you do me the pleasure of placing the key inside of my keyhole?"

Ge-Kun took on a timid pose and gulped visibly, "…Are you…are you sure Ka-Kun? I mean…don't you think it's too soon?"

Ka-Kun placed his hand on a handlebar of the motorcycle and spread out his fingers, moving them up and down in a suggestive gesture, "I don't believe it's too soon at all."

"…You're so _bad_," Ge-Kun commented, inserting a key into the motorcycle's ignition. The engine revved up and came to life. Ge-Kun hopped onto the back of the back, wrapping his arms securely around Ka-Kun's waist, "Go ahead and recite some more Shakespeare for me, won't you Ka-Kun?"

"You're so _bad_, Ge-Kun."

**XOXOXO**

Konohamaru Sarutobi quietly snickered to himself as he hid behind a corner. The eleven year old scanned the area around him. The coast was clear. The brunet nodded to himself before running down the adjacent hallway. A goofy grin lit up his entire face.

The glass windows of the school allowed light from the full moon outside to shine in. Long stripes of brightness danced across the boy's clothing as he moved. Outside the oak and maple trees swayed gently to a silent beat. Their leaves were almost gone.

_Heh, Moegi and Udon will never be able to find me…all I have to do is find the perfect hiding spot…_

_**Thump…thump…thump…**_

Konohamaru's running slowed down to jogging and then walking. He heard the strange thumping noise once again and scanned the area again. He saw no one.

The leaves outside rustled.

_**Thump…thump…**_

Konohamaru turned around. The strange thumping noises were coming from the lone closet he had just strolled by.

"Ha! We've found you Konohamaru! You didn't even bother to hide yourself properly!" Moegi shouted out from behind him. The young girl hopped onto Konohamaru's back and giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. The sickly Udon stood on his right, wiping at his nose with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Shhh, stop being so loud and _listen_! I think something's in that closet." The leader of the trio instructed. Udon and Moegi both became hushed and did as they were told.

_**Thump…**_

"You're right…there is something in there," Udon said, sniffling after. Moegi tightened her grip around Konohamaru, "Um…let's get out of here then. Remember what your grandfather said? We have to stay out of trouble…"

"Che, don't tell me you're scared. This closet could have something super cool inside of it, so I'm going to open it!"

The thumping sound against the door became more rapid. Konohamaru took this as a sign that the thing inside _wanted_ out. Moegi gingerly climbed off of her friend and took a step back as Konohamaru brazenly went over to the door. "Be careful Konohamaru," the young girl warned meekly.

Konohamaru turned the doorknob and pulled. He even jiggled the knob a bit. After a few minutes, the brunet sighed, "Damn…it's locked…how are we supposed to open it now?"

_**ThumpThumpThumpThumpTHUMPTHUMP…**_

Konohamaru kicked the closet, "Alright already! Just shut up and wait, we'll find a way to let you out—"

"_You're not letting anyone out," _snarled a voice from behind him. The younger boy gasped as he slowly turned his head around and found himself looking into pitch black eyes. The boy standing before him took the word 'intimidating' to a whole new level. He was downright _terrifying_.

The tall, dark-haired, high school student shoved the boy aside rather roughly, "Go, and keep your mouth shut if you'd like to live."

Konohamaru nodded before moving out of the scary dark-haired teen's way and left the area with Udon and Moegi close behind.

**XXX**

Sai and Sakura walked side by side in silence. The 'meeting' with Sakura's parents had gone fairly well. Sai wore modest clothing and kept his mouth in check for the most part. Sai still made a few remarks here and there, such as calling Mr. Haruno "poorly equipped" to which Sakura had cut him off and played it off as a joke of sorts.

The pink-haired girl acted unusually quiet and obedient around her folks. From what the artist could gather Mrs. Haruno was the type of woman who wanted to transform her daughter into what she was when she was a teenager, desperately trying to distract herself from her own inevitable ageing. Mr. Haruno was a man who tried to look tough and intimidating, in order to compensate for his small penis.

Sakura audibly sighed and opened her mouth, preparing to say something when they suddenly ran into the pinkette's merry group of strange friends: The Fatass, Lazy, Pro-Bestiality, Pro-Insect-iality, and Buns.

Pro-Bestiality was the first one to say something, as he pointed at Sai, "Haruno, what the hell are you doing with _him_?!"

"Being her boyfriend," Sai replied for Sakura with a smile.

Kiba blanched and Sakura snarled, kicking Sai in his shins, "You, _shut up_. And you, Inuzuka, know me better than that. I'm not into phony, scrawny, sickly pale guys."

"…But I thought Uzumaki was supposed to be your Secret Agent Lover Man? So you haven't seen him at all as well?" Kiba questioned.

"Not at all. Are you guys looking for him now?"

Shikamaru nodded toward her, "Yeah, and if we don't find him we're going to have to tell an adult. I think we should spilt up now and search every part of the school, all of the buildings, and even the most unlikely of pla—"

His voice was drowned out by the high-pitched screams of three children who had suddenly appeared from around the corner. Tenten stood in front of them, blocking their paths. "What's with you guys?" she asked.

The female of the group stuttered out, "There was something…something in the closet…making noises and then—!"

"Shut up," murmured the boy wearing glasses, "He's…he's gonna kill us if we tell anyone!"

The last one played with his fingers and gulped, "We have to tell them, we can't just leave that…that _thing _trapped inside of the closet. There was something in a closet and it made weird noises and we were trying to get it out but then some scary looking emo kid with black hair told us not to!"

Sai rubbed his chin, "Hmm, it sounds distinctly like Sasuke."

Shikamaru frowned, "…Hey kids, lead us back to that closet. Our friend might be trapped inside of it."

Sai decided that he was no longer needed in this little rendezvous and was about to walk off when Sakura grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "You're not going anywhere, you're a cohort of Sasuke's and therefore we might _need _you."

"…Ah, ah, of course hag. I'll just add this onto my 'bill' for the night," Sai replied merrily.

"You're going to have sex with him Haruno?!" Kiba squawked, slapping both hands onto his cheeks in shock. Sakura growled and thumped the dog-lover on the back of his head with her fist. She then pulled harder on Sai's collar, slowly cutting off his air circulation.

Konohamaru saluted Shikamaru, "No problem! This is _so cool_; it's like being in a horror/comedy movie!"

**XXX**

Neji Hyuuga's nimble fingers skirted the surface of his laptop. The soft _click-clack_ noise of the keys was the only thing keeping him from falling asleep while working on his English paper. His goal for the night was to get the damn paper done and then fall into an idyllic rest. The day had been very long and more stressful that usual; it was much harder to keep up his 'perfect' facade after his little family meeting with his uncle.

The door to the room suddenly opened and the brunet looked up. It was Uchiha…dragging in a body.

"….Did you _kill_ someone?" was the first thing that spilled from the Hyuuga's lips. He watched as his roommate closed the door behind him. "Not yet," Sasuke replied nonchalantly, giving the blond squirming on the floor a hard kick to the ribs. The boy's blue eyes looked pained for a flashing moment, before rage engulfed them once more. Sasuke had that Uzumaki kid that Hinata had asked about earlier during the day

_(Hinata-sama had also asked in her soft, syrupy voice, "Did it hurt? When my father slapped you? I'm sorry…I—") _

"…Why are you doing this? And more importantly, why did you bring him here?" Neji questioned, watching as Sasuke continued kicking the blond in the same spot, occasionally giving Uzumaki a firm kick to the head or a heavy stomp to his duct-taped legs.

"Because I can. And as far as you know, Uzumaki's never been here—"

"…Don't you think this is going a bit too far…and all because of your older brother?" Neji stated quietly.

"I don't know what you're talking about Hyuuga," Sasuke replied vacuously, dragging the blond to his closet, opening it, and stuffing him in like one would with clothing.

"If you piss on any of my things dobe, I'll disfigure you. If you make any noise, I'll mutilate you in ways that will make it so people won't be able to recognize you," the Uchiha warned, closing the walk-in closet.

So that was the dark stain on the front of the blond's pants and that was why the sharp smell of urine lingered in the air.

Neji felt ill. He wanted to go to the bathroom, but Sasuke had already locked himself in. The familiar noise of the dark haired teen getting his insulin shot ready bombarded his ears, followed by an insistent pounding at the door.

The Hyuuga stood up, placed his mask on, and opened the door. The group standing in front of him was Uzumaki's friends, three children, and Sai.

_What's Sai doing with them…?_

"Can I help you all?" the Hyuuga asked wryly, his gaze settling on Sai who smiled back as if to say, _"I had nothing to do with it," _when in fact he knew that artist had _everything_ to do with it and just found pleasure in watching people squirm. Neji _really_ hatedSai.

"We know Naruto's in there. We know your roommate, Uchiha, has something to do with this whole situation. He moved Uzumaki from the first area where he had hid him. Your facial expression and body posture says it all," Shikamaru Nara stated languidly. Neji _really_ hated Shikamaru's insight.

"Yeah so, you'd better stop the fuck covering for that _pussy _and fucking get Uzumaki out right here and now," Sakura Haruno barked, and Neji was surprised that such a vulgar comment did not originate from Inuzuka's mouth.

The jig was up (and Neji was hurting, hurting for Uzumaki, just a little). So he said, "If you all leave right now, and return to Uzumaki's room, I promise you all that he will return there in five minutes. I will only do this is you all promise not to get any of the adults involved. They already have enough to worry about with all of the parents around as it is."

"And if we don't agree to this?" Shikamaru asked.

"…You won't ever see Uzumaki again," Neji replied coolly, "We have the money to make such things happen and you know this."

Sai's smile remained on his face, "We'll be waiting then. Five minutes."

Neji nodded and closed the door as he heard their footsteps taper off. He knew Sasuke had been listening inside of the bathroom the entire time.

**XXX**

Lee found Gaara sitting alone at a table in the school library, reading a novel. The young athlete took a deep breath and sighed as he made his way over to Gaara's table, taking a seat across from the indifferent red head. Lee cleared his throat before he began to speak, "Good evening Gaara! Um…I see you're reading a book by Anne Rice…I've heard a lot about her from Sakura-chan, but haven't had a chance to read anything by her myself! How is the—"

"…What do you want?" Gaara questioned, not looking up from the book and Lee winced. Sharp and to-the-point described Gaara perfectly.

"…Well...uhm…it's just that…the other day…you felt extremely light…and then it got me thinking…during my time here, I've never seen you eat a thing and I was simply wondering if you were…anorexic! There I said it! Please forgive me for asking, but I must ask because if you are, I need to advise you to get help so that you don't fall ill!" Lee found himself flushed and babbling as he explained his point.

Gaara looked up from his book, green-blue eyes staring inanely at Lee, "…And what would it matter to you? You've never said a word to me until recently. You don't know about me. You aren't my…friend."

_So he's admitting to it? Gaara-san…how long have you been…and no one else has noticed…not even your own family…? Is it because you don't let anyone get close to you?_

"…Well, I want to be your friend. And I want to help you…I really do Gaara-san—"

"Why should I believe you? I've heard that line many times before and it always turned out to be a lie," Gaara said in a monotone.

"I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU!" Lee suddenly shouted, standing up and slamming his hands down on the table. The librarian gave Lee a stern stare. Lee apologized quietly before sitting back down.

"I would never lie to you, or anyone else for that matter," Lee repeated, "…I want to be your friend. I want to help you—"

"Uzumaki said the same thing, wanting to be my friend. He said it was destined," Gaara said, and then added, "I don't _need _help. I'm fine."

Lee frowned, "No, you are _not_ fine. People with anorexia have problems, Gaara-san. You can _die _from not eating Gaara-san. Naruto-kun would same the same exact thing… please let me…"

"…Follow me to my room, Rock Lee, and I will explain everything to you. Then we will see if you still want to associate yourself with me."

Without another word, the small redhead stood up and began to lead the way. Lee found that he had no choice but to follow him.

**XXX**

The door opened and Sakura sat up from her place on the floor, checking to see who it was. She felt relieved to see that it was Naruto, returned to them as promised. The tall blond wordlessly slipped into the room and made a beeline for the bathroom, locking the door shut behind him. The sound of water rushing from the sink followed. Sakura scrambled off of the ground and knocked lightly at the door.

"…Hey Naruto…are you alright…? I mean…you were gone for a long time…what _happened _to you? What did Sasuke—" Her voice got cut off by Naruto's muffled one.

"…'M fine Sakura-chan. I'm really, really sorry I wasn't there to be your pretend boyfriend...and Kiba, I'm sorry for not being at practice today. I'm alright you guys, just really tired. I want to get a shower n' go to bed, if you don't mind. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow, alright?"

"…Are you sure?"

"…Uh-huh...I'm sure," the blond stated with finality in his tone.

"…Then see you tomorrow…at breakfast."

Kiba grumbled to himself while the others gave their chorus of goodbyes, removing themselves from Naruto and Sai's room. Sakura was the last one out the door. Before leaving she turned around and told Sai, "…If there's something seriously weird with him going on, you'd better tell me, Penis Boy."

"….And you call me rude, Ugly?" Sai retorted. His permanent smile faded into a completely void expression, "I'll be letting you know what _I_ want for having to deal with you throughout the day soon. So goodnight for now, Haruno."

He closed the door.

**XXX**

Lee observed that Gaara's room was very plain. There were no posters, no pictures, nothing that would give clue as to the redhead's likes, dislikes, or life. There was just was a single bed, a computer, and a shelf of books. Lee decided to take a seat in Gaara's computer chair. He folded his hands across his lap, "…So…Gaara-san…what did you want to show me?"

Gaara did not say anything, but rather began to remove the jacket he wore. He allowed it to drop to the floor then moved onto the hoodie underneath it, lifting it over his head and throwing it onto the floor as well. Just as Gaara moved to peel off his white long sleeved blouse, his final layer, Lee covered his eyes. His heart was racing and his skin was flushed, though whether from nerves or excitement Lee wasn't sure.

"….Ga…Gaa…Gaara-san! What are you doing…?!"

Lee heard the shirt plop onto the floor.

"…I want you to look," he heard Gaara order and Lee gulped, suddenly feeling like a lecherous old man as he slowly moved his hands away from his face. He gasped as he his eyes took in the overall thinness of Gaara's body. His skin appeared to be sinking inside of his bones, making the outline of his skeletal figure protrude morbidly against his pale flesh. Lee could have sat there and counted every bone of Gaara's rib cage if he wished. Palpable collar bone, jutting hip bones, wiry shoulder blades…all placed clearly and gruesomely on display. Lee felt his heart sinking and hurting for Gaara. His mind screamed, _Why hasn't anyone noticed? Why did I not notice sooner…?!_

"…Do you still wish to associate yourself with me?" the redhead questioned bluntly, seemingly not at all bothered by his emaciated body.

"…I…I apologize for my following action, but I feel I _must_ do this to get my point across," Lee stated seriously as he stood up and walked over to where Gaara stood. The athlete slapped Gaara across the face soundly. Gaara touched the stinging area afterward in wonder, "You're the first person who's ever done that to me."

"I apologize once again, but that is my response to your question. Of course I wish to associate myself with you and from now on, I plan to do so, whether you like it or not," Lee bowed as he said this and aquamarine eyes continued to stare at him in silent awe.

_He reminds me of Uzumaki, _Gaara thought, _why…?_

**XXX**

Naruto yawned as he crawled into bed after he finished taking a long, hot bath and putting on his night clothes. The blond grunted in annoyance when he noticed the other body occupying his sleeping space.

"…Sai…get the hell out of my bed 'fore I shove your skinny ass off."

Although Naruto was unable to see his nuisance of a roommate through the darkness of their room, he still could feel the solid body of the artist within his bed. The feel of his fingertips against smooth, hairless skin made the blond guess that his roommate was topless. Naruto quickly moved his hands away.

_Ewwww, Sai-skin...! A guy isn't supposed to have such soft, girly skin…_

"…I think it's interesting…the little drama that's going on between you, Itachi-san, and Sasuke-kun. You need to be more careful around Sasuke-kun; he's capable of a lot of things...as you've probably learned from toda—"

Sai's voice caught within his throat at the sudden heavy weight pressed against his chest—Naruto's hands kept him pressed flat against the bed. The blond sat on top of him, a tanned leg resting on either side of his pale torso.

"Don't say _his_ fucking name around me."

"Is that a serious threat _Naru-kun_?"

And then Naruto kissed him. Sai was sure that the blond meant to get at his lips, but apparently missed because he felt those wet lips latch onto his neck instead, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there fervently. Sai felt Naruto's hands slide down to his stomach, blunt nails digging into his flesh as the blond's sloppy kisses traveled up his neck, leaving a trail of saliva that stopped at his jaw. His hands wandered lower and Sai couldn't help but moan when he felt a bold hand slip into his underwear and in between his legs.

Sai smiled seductively and rolled his hips, rubbing himself against the rough palm of the blond's hand. He lifted his head up and attacked one of Naruto's ears with his teeth, making sure to tease and lick and pant heavily. Sai could tell that he was pushing all of the right buttons (he was an expert at this sort of thing after all).

Sai then whispered, "Aren't you going to even ask me if I _want_ this, Naruto-kun? Do you even _know _what you're _doing_?"

And then Naruto got off of him, as quickly as one would pull their hand away from a blazing flame, apologizing profusely. Naruto pulled at his hair and bit down on his tongue; his stomach performed gymnastics.

"…Oh my God…fuck, I'm so sorry…I wasn't really thinking…I'm really sorry…_damnit_…"

Naruto didn't see Sai's smile widen in the dark. He sat up in Naruto's bed and reached out. He found his target. His skilled fingers played with weight of Naruto's arousal.

"…But it's perfectly alright Naruto-kun, I don't mind. No one else has to kno—"

"_Don't touch me. Just shut the hell up and go to bed."_

**XXX**

**6:00 P.M.**

**Spokespane Hall, Thanksgiving Dinner**

**XXX**

Neji decided that the designers hired for the job of decorating the dining hall did extremely well; their work was a step up even from last year's feast. There were several, long wooden tables abundant with what appeared to be hot, mouth-watering food all waiting to be devoured. The finest silverware, china, wines, and tablecloths were all laid out. Butlers dressed in black moved from table to table, seating families and filling clear glasses with red and amber liquids.

Headmistress Tsunade was currently speaking with his uncle and the third headmaster, Sarutobi. She was dressed in a practical black dress that did its best to cover up the sight of her ample breasts. A sparkling diamond necklace hung off of her neck. It looked very expensive, just like everything else in this damn school. Neji also noticed the way she took a drink from her wine-filled glass every two seconds.

Neji sometimes wondered why he was born into this life of wealth. A life of poverty and traveling the world to find enlightenment, as Kakashi had once discussed in class before, sounded much more appealing.

"Neji-niisan. Are you _listening _to me?"

The voice of his younger cousin Hanabi snapped the Hyuuga out of his thoughts. He glanced down at his cousin, a devil all dolled up and in a dress.

"My apologies, Hanabi-sama. Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked softly.

"…Get me a glass of water. I'm _parched_."

"…I'll be right back," Neji replied, turning around as he went off to do what he was ordered. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, trying to block out the image of the pitiful stares being given to him by Lady Tsunade, Sir Sarutobi, and Lady Hinata.

**OOO**

"Naruto-kun! There you are! I haven't seen your adorable little face in forever! Were you trying to hide from your _fabulous _nii-chan?"

Naruto mentally cursed. He had been trying to sneak out of the dining hall without being noticed, but had failed. Itachi's eerily red eyes had picked him out of the crowd easily. The blond was powerless to resist the flamboyant elder Uchiha; he found himself being dragged though the multitude of people (that stared, amused) and over to a table.

"Fellow Akatsuki, Gallant Jiraiya, and Sir Orochimaru, this is the cute little fox boy I've been telling you about! I told you he wasn't a part of my imagination, Sasori!"

A pretty redhead with a vacant expression reminiscent of the blond's Tanuki-chan snorted and took a delicate sip of his drink in response.

Naruto just felt like burying himself somewhere deep in the ground as Itachi made his introductions. He felt that he did not belong in the dining hall, with all of the mothers and fathers and sister and brothers, because he had _nothing_. He had no right to crash such an elegant and tight-knit affair, especially not in a pair of stonewash jeans and a skater sweatshirt that was ten sizes too big. Itachi's arm around his waist made him feel even _weirder _than usual. It was the same type of weird feeling he felt when he was with Sai…

_No, Naruto, you are NOT going there. I knew I should have stayed in my room like I did the entire day…I would have been better off…_

"So you're Naruto, eh? Tsunade's told me a thing or two about you. You look like a decent enough boy," the man named Jiraiya stated, slapping the blond hard on his back. The sickly pale snake-man Orochimaru merely scowled at the blond.

Naruto really wanted to ditch the hall. Immediately. _Especially_ before Sasuke showed up—

"Sasuke," Orochimaru purred his scowl dissipating. The silver-haired young man standing behind Orochimaru adjusted his glasses and glared at Sasuke.

"Pedophile," Sasuke replied which caused Jiraiya to burst out into laughter.

"…I have to go and pee," the blond mumbled unintelligently, moving away from Itachi and company. The blond stopped, however, when he heard Sasuke's recognizable voice remarked, "Yes, we wouldn't want to have another _accident_, now would we?"

Naruto froze in his tracks. Sasuke smirked. Itachi pulled out a small mirror and began to examine his face. Pein and his lady companion, Konan, brought the edges of their glasses together in a small toast.

"…Yeah…about that," Naruto started quietly, turning to face the younger Uchiha, "It wasn't my fault. I guess I'm just not used to, you know, _psychos_. Psycho emo boys who want to FUCK their older brothers, and so, lock people in closets just because they can't handle the fact that they're SICK in the HEAD. Is your DIABETES screwing around with you or what?!"

The entire room fell into an awkward silence. Even Kakashi closed his beloved _Icha Icha_ novel and placed it in his back pocket.

Sasuke stared at the blond, left speechless for once in his life. Naruto _smirked_ back. Itachi continued looking at himself in his mirror, unperturbed by the words being exchanged right in front of him. Jiraiya cleared his throat and began to lead Naruto away from Sasuke, before a fight could break out. That was the last thing Tsunade needed.

"Hn, I can't believe what a total loser you are. You seem to love making up things in order to get attention, don't you? But the truth is that you're _nothing_ and you will always be _nothing_. So please, kindly stop begging for freebies from my older brother. "

Naruto tore himself from Jiraiya's grasp and made a beeline toward Sasuke

**OOO**

Konohamaru's eyes widened as he watched the blond go after the Uchiha, only to be held back by Jiraiya-ojisan. The blond boy kicked, screamed, and cursed as he was dragged out of the dining hall. Tsunade-obasan sucked her teeth and finished whatever liquid remained in her glass before shoving it into the hands of a butler. She excused herself from his grandfather and Hiashi Hyuuga before walking away. Tsunade's assistant, Shizune-neechan, took her place at once, loudly asking if everyone could take a seat so that they could begin with the main meal.

Konohamaru decided that he would _totally_ make that badass blond his idol.

"Tch, what an idiot! If that boy had spoken that rudely to me…" Hanabi started, taking a seat next to her older sister. The younger girl brushed a strand of dark brown hair away from her face. Hinata played with her fingers and looked down, her thoughts focused more on what happened just now and what was going to happen to Naruto. She was sure the others were curious as well, but Sakura, Kiba, and company were all under the watchful eyes of their own families. Neji sat next to his uncle in a perfect stony silence.

"Hanabi's _so _rude," Moegi whispered in Konohamaru's ear, "Do you still have that silly crush on her?"

"For the last time, I don't like that Hyuuga girl, so _shuddup_," the boy whispered back to his friend, turning his head away from her. Udon noticed the blush on his friend's face, but made no comment. Sarutobi gave his grandson and his friends a stern look that caused the trio to quiet down.

After Shizune shared a few words and blessings, both Hiashi Hyuuga and Itachi Uchiha stood up from their seats at their respective tables. The people in dining hall watched the two men as Hiashi cleared his throat, "There is an announcement we would like to share with you all at this time. I would like for it to be known among my fellow collogues and their children here at Spokespane—"

Itachi rudely interrupted the Hyuuga. He clasped his hands together and smiled, "The news _is _that my younger brother, Sasuke Uchiha, and the lovely Miss Hinata Hyuuga…or should I say, Hinata Uchiha, are going to get married! Isn't that just _fab_?"

Neji stood up, the force of his body causing his chair to fall backward loudly. Sasuke stared at Itachi; his dark eyes shining brightly with unadulterated hate. Hinata remained in her seat, unmoving and completely frozen from shock. Hanabi was sure that her sister would faint within the next two minutes after full realization struck her brain. Mrs. Haruno and Mrs. Yamanaka's jaws dropped. Sasuke's Fan club began to pull out tissues. The more serious of the fans (such as Karin) began to plot diabolical things.

…And then a chicken breast drizzled in gravy smacked Hiashi Hyuuga in the face. It slid down his face, onto his pricey clothing, and finally landed on the ground with a loud, wet noise.

All hell then broke loose.

**XXX End Act XXX **

Sasuke: …

Zana: (grins) 29 pages! When will the endless chapters stop?!

Naruto: …

Neji: …How…_could you?_

Gaara: (seethes) (anger tick)

Itachi: (paints nails)

Zana: Uzumaki Naruto, if you protect me from the wrath of the Emo, the Tanuki, and Destiny, I shall be nice to you for the rest of the story…and buy you lots of ramen.

Naruto: OKAY! (Kage Bushin'd)

Sai: (tsks) Itachi-san, purple is such a bad color for you, now I'd suggest… (prattles on)

Zana: I think someone should write a Hiashi/Itachi fic…_DISTRACTION NO JUTSU_! (runs off)

**Next Act: Voulez vou coucher avec moi, ce soir? **(I love this song!)

_With Thanksgiving coming to a close, and the holidays arriving, what ventures will our Naruto Uzumaki face next? Can he ever look Sai in the face again? What will Sasuke and Hinata do with their seemingly random engagement? Can Lee save Gaara? Should Akatsuki be kept under watch? What's this—something about a trip? Kiba's Jewish?! What are those shadows creeping in the corners of the school? Oh, say what? The Shadow Boys? What are they doing th—?! _

Until next time…

_Ja ne!_


	8. Act Eight: Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi,

**Review Replies: **

Aiwin:I never knew _I Never Promised You a Rose Garden_ was a book. Now I'm going to feel the need to read it. Confusion indeed is the name of Masquerade's game, but all of the pieces shall come together in due time, including the NaruSasuNaru-ness. I promise. Thanks for reviewing!

HoshittheHorse:You're very observant. I would say more, but then I'd have to hunt you down. No, not really. I kid. Thanks for reviewing!

**Shamless Fic Pimpage:** Check out Miss Zana's latest Naruto fic, **Final Judgment** if you'd like to read about an Evil!Naruto and a Crazy!Sasuke. Check out the **Café **fic as well, if you're looking for a good laugh. And review. Please and thank you.

_A special thanks goes out to my beta, Miss shy7cat. She's amazing and all of you wish you had a beta as bitchin' as mine. Don't cha? _

**Zana:** Thanks to the rest of the reviewers, I appreciate you all very much. Here's another wonky chapter of Masquerade! Enjoy and **REVIEW! **

**XXX**

**Masquerade Rewind**

_(Aka __**almost**__ everything you need to know, remember, and understand in Masquerade thus far) _

**XXX**

_I need to get my priorities in order, starting with my sexual preferences and ending with my anger issues…_

**Naruto Uzumaki** is our sexy, blond (bisexual super) hero with the semi-angsty past. He grew up an orphan due to the crappiness of The System, but was able to escape it by passing an exam and getting accepted into the prestigious Spokespane Academy on a scholarship (which is super rare). Our hero's journey into his new life hasn't been a smooth one, however! He's been thrown into a lake, subjected to pretty man-ladies, pushed off a tree, attacked by fan girls, rejected by a rock star, cuddled by a fabulous pseudo older brother, and temporarily kidnapped by a _certain _rival of sorts. It seems that our blond also knows this rival from an incident in his childhood, but said rival dismisses this connection and claims it all to be a lie. Despite all of his hardships, Naruto-kun still continues on; but one person can only take so much before breaking down, ne? _C'mon Naruto-kun, we have faith in you! Do your best! _

"_And if anyone tries to get in the way of my goals, I will not hesitate to annihilate them."_

**Sasuke Uchiha** is our sexy, dark haired, broody (gay as a rainbow) anti-hero with more issues than today's society; a literary foil to a _certain_ blond's character, if you will. It seems that he got kicked out of Spokespane and accepted back in on terms still unclear up to this point. He also used to be involved in a relationship with a certain bubblegum-haired lacrosse player. He lost his family at a young age and thus grew up with, and became very attached to, his older brother. His older brother doesn't pay much attention to him, however. In fact, his older brother seems to have taken an extreme interest in a certain blond dobe which does nothing but make our Uchiha Prince(ss) bitchier than usual. It's easy to see that his surly disposition isn't going to change anytime soon with his unwanted engagement to a certain Hyuuga heiress. But despite his faults, Sasu-hime will always remain a favorite, ne? He smokes, he has diabetes, and he's evil; what's there _not_ to love about Sasuke? _C'mon Uchiha, lighten up will you?! We adore you! We want to have your babies! Kyaa!!! _

"_Long hair was bothersome…and girl clothes were getting too slutty for my tastes. I've grown up and realized that you're nothing special. Others will soon say the same."_

**Sakura Haruno **is athletic, smart, attractive, and not your usual girly-girl, or at least, not anymore. Ever since her break up with a _certain_dark haired broody teenager, she's transformed herself into a major tomboy, boy clothing and all. Not only that, but she seems to harbor some sort of romantic affection for her oblivious long time best friend. She is currently dating (or at least her parents think so) a certain dark haired artist. She worries about her friends and won't hesitate to break a nose if needed. _Let's go Sakura-chan, let's go! Let's go Sakura-chan, let's go! _

"…_Do you still wish to associate yourself with me?"_

"_I like performing. Nothing else in the world can compare to the sweat rolling off of your body, the screaming fans, reverberating bass, the pressing of your body and lips against a metal microphone."_

_Screw Temari and her stardom and Gaara with his angst, no offense, but my idol, Sasori of the Akatsuki, just told me that someday I could surpass him in puppetry! I can officially die happy now…_

**Gaara** is not a cuddly, fuzzy dog-raccoon, but is in fact, an anorexic, insomniac anti-social young man. But he's making some friends (a certain blond) and is getting help (from a certain fuzzy-browed track star). Will that be enough for our beloved redhead? Hopefully. His older sister **Temari** has a few skeletons in her closet as well. She's escaped her glamorous life as a rock star to chill at Spokespane for a bit while the still murky rumors of her still unknown late boyfriend cool down. In the end, she only wants what's best for her youngest brother, but does she even know what's good for him? The middle child and younger twin brother of a certain rock star, **Kankuro**, is in fact, one step ahead of Temari, younger-brother-wise. _Yay for the Suna sibs!_

"…_I'll change my whole identity for you, just don't reject me…please don't…"_

There isn't a person alive who hasn't been tricked by **Haku's** feminine ways. He's on the cheerleading team for goodness sakes! But Haku does all of this for one person and one person only…and the idea of this person not wanting him breaks his heart…_oh why __**Zabuza,**__ why? _

"_The answer is no Uchiha; I won't let things be like they were last year. I'm not going to let you take me down with you. You can't control me." _

"_Please…please otou-san…don't….don't…make Neji-niisan so worried over…over me…"_

And yet, **Neji Hyuuga** is being controlled in every way possible. Despite this, NejNej is still desperately fighting; fighting against his destiny, like a bird with clipped wings still longing to fly. His cousin, the timid **Hinata Hyuuga, **is now a possible blushing bride to a certain man she's currently engaged to. Her heart must be breaking as well—what about her crush on that new blond kid? _Hyuuga family drama, ahoy!_

"_Thank you very much for saving my little brother, you adorable little blond! I will forever be in your debt, starting with the issue of your punishment! Lady Hokage, you will not get rid of this boy! I want to take him shopping!"_

**Itachi Uchiha's** someone not to take in large doses. He's the older brother of a _certain_ broody teen and is a member of the business group **Akatsuki**. He loves to shop, paint his nails, and currently, hug his adopted, adorable, blond little "brother." But what about his existing, real, little brother? The one that he likes to tease? _We love you Weasel-sama! Let's go buy shoes! _

"_Hey, Dickless Wonder; stop moping about having absolutely nothing in between your legs and get to the common room; we have a meeting!"_

And then there's **Sai. **He draws, insults (Naruto's penis), and apparently likes to do things roughly with a certain younger Uchiha. He also occasionally paints the letters **R.O.D.** on random walls of the school. What does all of this mean? Will anyone ever find out? Is there something more to this fake-smiling painter than meets the eye? What about the so-called specters supposedly lurking in the forest? Never has more history and drama occurred at Spokespane, one can only guess what will happen next!

_(A theater suddenly appears, the stage covered by a curtain and a light flicks on. Two shadow figures emerge.)_

**Ge-Kun**: How dare you? How dare you? How dare you forget about the two of us! We're the real stars of the show! How dare you, how dare you? I'm, I'm I'm…

**Ka-Kun**: Outraged?

**Ge-Kun**: No

**Ka-Kun**: Pissed off?

**Ge-Kun**: No.

**Ka-Kun**: Offended?

**Ge-Kun**: NO! Try harder!

**Ka-Kun**: Hard?

**Ge-Kun**: YES! (claps hands)

**Ka-Kun**: _What? _(claps hands) Why are we clapping?

**Ge-Kun**: (pulls out a bowling ball from behind his back) Hard!

**Ka-Kun**: Now I see! (tosses a firework into the air)

_(An explosion demolishing the stage follows) _

**Ge-Kun**: (clapping hands) Yeah! Luckily, all of this smoke prevents anyone from seeing our true faces!

**Ka-Kun**: (clapping hands) Encore!

Just who are these two, inane, zany shadows? What is their purpose?

**Naruto:** (points) C'mon guys! Here's our chance to catch those crazy bastards! After them!

**Naruto Cast **(except the _cool_ people): Argh! After them!!!

**XXX**_**Hyu**_

_We are more often treacherous through weakness than through calculation. _

_-Francois De La Rochefoucauld_

**XXX**

**Masquerade**

**Act Eight: ****Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir?**

_A very polite way of asking in French…_

_(Would you like to sleep/come to bed with me tonight?)_

_**OOO**_

Right after the Thanksgiving Incident(s)…

_**OOO**_

"Oh my God, that was the best fucking Thanksgiving EVER!"

"…And Kiba's going to be _forever_ depressed! His mother took away that dog of his before she left for throwing that chicken breast at Hiashi Hyuuga…I heard Hiashi wants to sue the Inuzukas!"

"Oooh, sucks to be them…!"

"Why? How? Sasuke can't possibly marry that Hyuuga girl! I mean, have you _seen_ her? She's fucking _fat, _way worse than Sakura Haruno was…!"

"I didn't know Uchiha had diabetes…I mean…can you do drugs and have a terminal disease?"

"…Sasuke totally did not get kicked out of school for drugs for the _last_ time!"

"_Shhh, not so loudly…!"_

"D'you think it's true? What Uzumaki said about….you know…Sasuke liking Itachi in _that _way?"

"I can't really tell…isn't Itachi like…_gay_ with that shark-guy that's always around him?"

"Well, I think that Uzumaki's trying to make Itachi hate Sasuke so that Itachi will buy him more things…it's _so _obvious."

"…Hey guys, do you know that art vandal? He totally trashed the art rooms with more graffiti…that R.O.D. thing again…"

"Dude, haven't you notice how many weird things have been happening around here since Uzumaki arrived?"

"Yeah…what could it mean?"

"Hey, hey, I saw Rock Lee with that Gaara kid in the library and they were having a lover's spat. Seriously! Then they made up and left the library holding hands…"

"…_.Wait…WHAT?!" _

"Why in the hell is everyone gay?! It's not fair, it's not fair…!"

"I'm kind of…_scared_."

"Tch, don't be such a pussy!"

**XXX**

**Around 9:45 PM**

**XXX**

Sasuke Uchiha wanted nothing more than to light up a cigarette and blow the second-hand smoke into Hiashi Hyuuga's face. Make the old bastard get cancer or something from drowning in the deadly fumes. Maybe burn his brother with it as well, but not so much as to leave permanent damage on Itachi's skin. _That_ would be unforgivable. His fingers twitched.

The corner of Sasuke's eye caught a sudden movement as that bumbling, inhibited girl got up from her position next to him. The shrilly whistling kettle in Hiashi's kitchen (Sasuke wished his room had a kitchen) beckoned the girl forth to prepare tea.

Sasuke had no interest in marrying Hinata, or anyone else for that matter. The Hyuuga heiress wasn't even his kind of woman (not that he paid much attention to women). Hinata was too soft, too timid, and too docile which made her both unexciting and annoying. Hinata was probably raised to be your stereotypical Japanese housewife. Sasuke would have preferred the _new_ Sakura over Hinata, if he was forced to choose someone.

No one could beat Itachi, however. No one.

…But why was _his_ older brother so interested in that idiot Uzumaki? What did that loser have that he didn't, besides Uzumaki's blond hair and blue eyes and overall stupidity…?

…and then Sasuke realized. The two of them would fit together. Someone like Naruto would complement Itachi's ostentatious personality. Was that the reason why his brother was so drawn to Naruto?

"Are you listening Sasuke?"

Itachi's voice disrupted the flow of Sasuke's erratic thoughts. The younger Uchiha figured that his usually logical thinking was being affected from the lack of nicotine. He really needed a smoke.

Sasuke looked directly into Itachi's scarlet eyes. "Yes, I am, _nii-san_," Sasuke drawled, slowly shifting his gaze to focus on light grey eyes, "And it is an honor to be engaged to your lovely daughter, Hyuuga-san. Both of our companies will surely flourish with such powerful families combining into one. We'd rule the business worlds of both America and Japan, so to speak."

"Which is why by next year, I'd like for both you and Hinata to attend a few high school years in Japan before returning to the states for college," Hiashi stated, "Maybe the transitions will help that girl toughen up. Sometimes I wish she wasn't so much like her late mother. That woman couldn't even bless me with a boy like Neji."

Hinata returned to the main room, just as her father had spoken those words. The rather blank expression on her face did not change as she gingerly poured the steaming hot tea into their cups.

"Maybe she's stronger than you give her credit for, Hyuuga-san," Itachi said, taking a sip from his cup. A handsome smile appeared on his face, "Ah, Hina-chan, this tea's delicious! Thank you!"

"Your w-we-welcome, Uchiha-san. Sasuke-kun…I think…y—you should drink your tea…before it gets cold," Hinata ended in a squeak. She sat back in her seat and played anxiously with her fingers.

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest, "I don't like tea. I prefer coffee."

"My a-apo-apologies, Sasuke-kun, I should have asked-I'll prepare you some right now—"

Itachi shook his head, "There's no need Hina-chan, my otouto is just being foolish, as usual."

Sasuke made sure to keep himself in check, to keep his entire demeanor in a state of apathy, "He's right."

A small frown marred Hinata's face, "Yes…I…I apologize still. It will never happen again."

Sasuke closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

**OOO**

_Look at them, treating Hinata-sama as if she isn't a person, as if…_

"Neji-niisan, what are you doing pressing your ear against my father's door like that?"

Neji Hyuuga nearly jumped out of his clothes at the voice of his younger cousin, Hanabi. Slowly, the older Hyuuga stood up and wiped off the dust that settled onto his clothing. An evil smile stretched across Hanabi's face.

"I wasn't…"

"Spying? Eavesdropping? Tch, you're normally a better liar that that, Neji-niisan. But don't worry. I'll be nice and not tell him. I feel so sorry for my onee-chan. She should just tell father that she doesn't want anything to do with our family. You should tell him that too. I know you hate _us_."

_By 'us' she means the Main House…and she's right. I should run away with Hinata-sama…no…that would be foolish…_

Hanabi had begun to skip around in a circle with Neji standing in the middle of it. Neji cleared his throat, "I—you know that isn't possible, Hanabi-sama."

"Whoops. I forgot. Silly me."

She giggled and Neji's hand twitched.

**OOO**

Iruka Umino paced back and forth in front of the blond sitting before him. Tsunade spoke in hushed tones to Jiraiya back at her desk. Orochimaru sat back and seemed to be listening in on Tsunade and Jiraiya's conservation with the content smile of a well-fed cat. Kabuto stood off to the side in submissive silence. Naruto found himself gazing into the distance, outside the window his principal sat at. The night sky was nebulous.

"Why do you always get into these…these fights with Sasuke, Naruto? I mean, I know Sasuke's a little rough around the edges, but I'm sure you can ignore him enough in order to get on with your day," Iruka stated, trying to play in with Naruto's rationality.

"I don't see why I'm the only person in here, Sasuke's the one who starts _shit_—"

"Ah, ah, watch your language!"

"…with me. He's crazy," Naruto finished, deciding to keep Sasuke's recent kidnapping a secret. He wasn't a snitch about things.

"That may be so, but that doesn't mean you start stuff with him. You're very lucky Itachi's taking some sort of strange liking to you brat, or you'd be out of here by now," Tsunade interrupted, ending her sentence with a deep sigh.

"…Who knows what he sees in you, however. It's rather odd that Itachi's taken such an interest in such filth like this boy. He's useless, and rather troublesome," Orochimaru remarked as if Naruto was not in the room.

"Why don't you shut the _fuck_—"

"Language Naruto!" Iruka warned.

"…up you pedophile! That's what Sasuke called you, right? I wouldn't be surprised!"

_Useless…troublesome…filth…they're familiar words. Ha. Ha. Ha._

Jiraiya chuckled in response to Orochimaru's scowl, Kabuto wearing a countenance similar to that of his master's.

"Since we promote peace and friendship here at Spokespane, it looks like I'll have to send you and Sasuke to Mediation Training with…"

_Please don't say Anko-sensei, please don't say Anko-sensei or that other guy Kiba told me about, Ibiki…please, please please…_

"Kakashi," Tsunade ended with a beatific smile the sent a shiver down Naruto's spine.

"Your first session shall start Monday, right after your last class, before your sports. You and Sasuke will continue to see him until Kakashi reports to me that he's seen improvement. Understood?"

"Yes, Tsunade-baachan," Naruto replied, without really thinking. The entire room grew silent. Jiraiya made hand-motions toward the blond that meant 'sudden death.' Orochimaru murmured, "Stupid boy." Iruka gulped.

Tsunade continued smiling. She folded her hands underneath her chin. "Did you just call me old, brat? Do I _look _old to you, brat? Do you, perhaps, see any grey hairs or wrinkles or sagging flesh, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head and swallowed thickly, "N-No…but someone told me that you were over fifty before, and I was just thinking that—"

Tsunade chuckled softly, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen across her forehead, "Ah. Over fifty you say. I see. Well, it is getting late. Iruka, escort the boy back to his room if you would?"

Iruka nodded, "Of course, m'am. Come on Naruto, let's go. Quickly."

Once Iruka closed the door behind him, the sound of things breaking followed by the usage of colorful language caused Naruto to pick up his pace in fear that Tsunade would open the door and maul him with a chair, or worse, bottles of alcoholic beverages.

_Stupid boy. That's familiar too. Ha. Ha. Ha_

**XXX**

"Hey, Forehead! Guess what we're going to do tonight?"

Sakura continued to chew on the butt of her pencil, green eyes glaring down at the one math problem she couldn't figure out. Ino made an indignant huff, closing the door to their room behind her. She did not wait for Sakura to reply.

"We're going to a party tonight in our common room. Only the best of the best of boys are coming over! It was that senior's idea, Suigetsu. He's really hot."

Sakura spat out the bits of eraser that lingered on her tongue and regarded Ino with a raised eyebrow, "How are we supposed to do that when Anko Mitarashi's the RA to this building?"

Ino had wandered over to her vanity mirror at this point. She took her hair out of its usual ponytail and shook her voluminous tresses vigorously.

Sakura remembered when her hair was just as long…

"_Sasuke…I…I love you. I've loved you for the longest time…if you let me be your girlfriend…if you say yes, I promise to be the best girlfriend ever. I'll do whatever you want...I'll be whoever you want, just please say you'll date me…please…" _

_Sasuke Uchiha stared down at her, his pretty lips curved into an expression of distaste. _

"_You're so annoying. You're pathetic, even. Do you really 'love' me that much? Are you aware you'll be giving up a lot of things if word gets out that we're dating?" _

_Sakura felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. She blinked back her tears and took a bold step closer, "Yes…and…I don't care…I just want to be with you. I love you." _

_Sasuke Uchiha was gorgeous, and sure, his personality wasn't as lovely as his looks, but Sakura was sure that Sasuke was just being a guy, and that a good girlfriend would be able to melt the ice that covered of his entire being. _

"…_I accept then. I'll date you," Sasuke replied, and Sakura beamed with happiness as she wrapped her arms around him and inhaled his addicting scent. _

_Sasuke remained as still as a statue made of marble. _

"…So? Anko's not going to be in her room tonight, which means we literally have no supervision, since most of the adults in the building are going to be busy with the 'rents. We'll have an emergency escape route for the boys, just in case. So, are you in Forehead?"

"…I don't know. I have homework to do, and I'm tired. Plus if that idiot Suigetsu's going to be there, then that means everyone's going to be drunk and you know how I feel about drinking," Sakura replied with an edge of resentment in her tone.

Ino turned away from her mirror and pouted, "That's why I want you to come, to make sure I don't do anything stupid at the party! I don't want to give my precious maidenhood away to some gross guy after all."

Sakura closed her math book and sighed, "Here's an original idea! How about _not_ drinking? It makes people stupid after all, killing their brain cells and whatnot…"

"…_You stole Sasuke-kun away from me! It's not fair…! I…I…don't ever want to be your friend again, __**slut**__. You self-centered __**bitch**__!"_

"_Fine by me Ino, see if I care! You're dead to me!"_

_Ino then smiled a wicked smile, "Ha, you're so stupid Forehead. You'll never be enough for someone like Sasuke-kun. Why do you think he never holds your hand or kisses you? He didn't even get you anything on Valentine's Day." _

_Sakura pushed back the doubt that began to seep into her mind. "Shut the hell up! You don't know anything about me and Sasuke's relationship! You're just jealous that he doesn't like whores like you!" _

"You are coming with me whether you like it or not! If the party's stupid, we'll leave. I promise. Hey, hey, I'm thinking about dying my hair. I think people don't take me seriously because I'm a blonde."

Sakura rolled her eyes and snorted, "People don't take you seriously because you're _Ino_."

"…Hey! What the hell does that mean Forehead?"

Sakura laughed, "Exactly what you _think_ it means, Miss Piggy."

**XXX**

"Welcome back, Dickless."

Naruto turned around to find Sai sitting on _his_ bed, once again wearing _his_ clothes.

_I kissed him. And touched him. And almost man-raped him. It was a moment of lunacy, of crazy, gay-induced lunacy. A big mistake. That's exactly what it was._

_Ha. Ha. Ha._

"Sai…what the hell are you doing with my shit on? And why are you on my bed?"

Sai lips twisted up into a rather phony smile, "I figured that it was only customary, since you so obviously _want_ me."

Before Sai knew it, a shocking amount of pain took over the right side of his face. The impact of Naruto's fist caused him to tumble onto the floor. Naruto snarled as he grabbed a bag and began to shove clean pairs of underwear inside of it. Sai slowly sat up, pale fingers gingerly touching his face which had begun to swell.

_Ka-Kun gasped, "He didn't! But he obviously did! Shame on you Naruto-kun! _

_Ge-Kun slightly slapped Ka-Kun on the back, "Shh! Shh! Shh!" _

"Where are you going, Naruto-kun?" Sai asked.

Naruto growled, "Where the fuck do you think I'm going? Away. From here. I'm going to Kakashi and requesting a room change because I just can't be in the same room with you anymore. I might end up murdering you."

Sai's smile was replaced with a vacuous visage, "…You can't change rooms. There's nowhere else for you to go."

"_Here it comes," Ge-Kun sang, "the fox's wrath!" _

"Tch, then I'll sleep in the damn hallway or a box if I have to! Anything to get away from you! I _hate_ you!" Naruto spat out, stuffing more junk into his bag in rage. A voice in Naruto's head to him to stop then and there, but his mouth kept on going, spewing nasty, ugly words. The blond found himself taking out all of the frustration he had at the moment on Sai.

"…You're creepy, and weird, and the biggest faggot I've ever met. I'm not fucking gay like you, you disgust me, and I can't stand being around you, I HATE you! That's how I feel about you, Sai-whatever-the-hell-your-last-name-is! You can go and choke on that bastard's Sasuke's cock for all I care! You asshole! Fucktwat! Loser! Retard! Dumbass! Shitface!"

Sai stood up and smiled. He looked rather strange with one of his face blowing up into a purple-blue lump.

"Ah. You've made yourself perfectly clear. I understand."

Naruto picked up his bag, "No, I don't think you fucking don't, nor will you ever _understand_, bastard."

"_How cruel, how cruel, how cruel!" Ka-Kun said, "Cruel!" _

Naruto left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.

"_That was a marvelous performance!" Ge-Kun commented, clapping his hands in joy, "There's nothing I love better than a good show!" _

**XXX**

_Ino's smile grew dangerous, wider, "Well then, why don't you go and find where Sasuke-kun is right…now."_

_Sakura's pupils shrunk as she felt her heartbeat stop, "What…what do…you mean?"_

"_Why don't you go and see? Find out the truth for yourself, little, stupid Sakura."_

**XXX**

_Ha. Ha. Ha. _

**XXX**

**Around 11:00 PM**

**XX**

"This is going to be so—"

"Akamaru…my…my poor baby…he's...I'm—oh God it hurts! The separation! And my precious Hinata…sold to that son of a bitch Uchiha…! It isn't fair!"

Shino sighed, "Hush Kiba, this party is supposed to make you better, not depress you further."

"…troublesome," Shikamaru finished, giving the last of his M&Ms to Chouji.

Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Shino paused in front of the common room where muffled voices could be heard talking and low music could be heard playing. Chouji administered the Universal Secret Knock of Spokespane and the door opened seconds later by none other than Sakura

"Hey. What are you guys doing her—Kiba…have you been crying?"

Kiba sniffed and wiped his nose, "No. Maybe. YES! Let me in! I need some goddamn booze! I fucking hate my parents, I'm going to piss them off and become Jewish! Damn STRAIGH—!"

Sakura punched Kiba in the gut, "Do you want us to get caught? I don't think you need to get in any more trouble than you are in now. In fact, I think you should go back to your room and—"

Kiba shook his head and walked past Sakura, picking up the first opened bottle he laid his eyes on once inside. Suigetsu Houzuki appeared from the crowd of closely knit bodies and placed a hand on Kiba's shoulder. "Yo! Inuzuka, glad you could make it! Nice shot at old man Hyuuga. Sucks about your dog though," he said, faux sympathetically.

Kiba wailed, "Akamaruuuuuu!"

Both Suigetsu and Shino covered Kiba's mouth. Someone knocked on the door again. Ino, who was already drunk, flounced over and opened it. She found herself dropping her drink in shock as Sasuke Uchiha walked past her in all of his unbridled, handsome glory. Suigetsu greeted the dark haired newcomer and offered him a bottle which Sasuke rejected. He and Suigetsu went off to a corner and began to converse with each other, Temari, who was also attending the party, joined the crew minutes later. Sasuke pulled out a cigarette and Suigetsu drew himself closer to the other boy in order to light up Sasuke's cigarette.

If anyone had cared, or looked closely, one might have been able to notice the subtle bags of black underneath the Uchiha's eyes and the distinct glimmer of a scheme forming behind dark, dark, opaque eyes.

But of course, this all went unnoticed to the gathering of students who all drank and danced and talked and touched together.

"I'm not good enough for him. That must be it. That _must_ be it! Therefore, I'm giving up on Sasuke forever! In fact, I'm giving up on men forever!" Ino declared taking a sip from the new cup she had pilfered from a nearby table. Sakura rolled her eyes and gently took the cup away from her friend, "Now I know you've had enough. I think we should go back now—"

Ino suddenly wrapped her arms around Sakura's neck and pressed the tip of her nose against the pinkette's. Sakura noted that Ino smelled like an assortment of flowers, courtesy of the blonde's newest perfume straight from France. Sakura noted that Ino was very pretty with her bright blue eyes and shimmery pink lips.

_Didn't she say her lip-gloss was cotton candy flavored…?_

"I'm not kidding Sakura," Ino whispered soberly and then took a step back as she giggled. The blonde's arms slid down Sakura's neck and went in for a few quick squeezes of her chest. A few rowdy male voices cheered.

"Why don't you give her a kiss Haruno?" Suigetsu teased from his 'cool' corner, "Maybe if you give her a good one, Sasuke here will turn straight for you again!"

"Sakura," Ino purred, now nuzzling Sakura's neck. Before she could come up with a clever retort to Suigetsu's idiocy, Chouji came to her rescue. He simply pulled her blonde temptress away and shook his head.

Suigetsu snarled, "Akimichi, you fat fuck, who invited _you_ here in the first place?"

Before either Chouji or Sakura could reply, Shikamaru came to their defense. The music playing was turned down and everyone within the room stopped what they were doing to watch the drama unfold. Shikamaru walked slowly but steadily until he reached where Suigetsu sat and said, "I know you're a senior and all, but that doesn't give you the right to be a dumbass. Don't you think? Maybe it's all of the alcohol—by the way, you reek of it—you've been drinking. But whatever. Just don't talk shit about my friends. It's one of the few things in life that truly pisses me off."

Temari smiled and glanced at Suigetsu, "You're just going to let this punk call you out like that?"

_Although I will say the kid has some guts. And he isn't stupid about it_, the star thought to herself.

Suigetsu stood up, and the crowd of students leaned forward and held their breaths in anticipation of a fight when the doors to the common room swung open, the knobs of the door slamming against the walls loudly. Everyone stopped and turned to see the cause to the sudden distraction. Even Sasuke held his cigarette away from his lips.

Standing at the entrance to the common room where two people dressed in black and wearing white gloves. They held books to their faces, completely hiding their identities.

"I am Ge-Kun!" The person standing on the right announced

"And I am Ka-Kun!" The person standing on the left announced.

"And together," both strangers said, "we are the Shadow Boys!"

Not one word was said among the party goers. Ka-Kun sighed, "It looks like we have a tough crowd to deal with."

Ge-Kun jumped up and down with childish delight, "They're my favorite kind of crowd! Shall we? Shall we? Shall we?"

"We shall, we shall. Give me your hand," Ka-Kun replied.

Ge-Kun did, and Ka-Kun began to spin Ge-Kun around and around, faster and faster until Ge-Kun was just a whirling black blur.

"Once upon a time," Ka-Kun started.

"There was a rose in a garden; a beautiful garden to end all gardens!" Ge-Kun continued.

"A wicked old witch who lived in a wicked little house was the owner of the garden. That rose was the star of her garden, more special than all the other worthless little plants," Ka-Kun continued.

"But then, one day," Ge-Kun said, "a crafty old crow landed in the wicked old witch's garden, and planted a seed next to the witch's star rose. The next morning, a more beautiful golden rose had sprouted and outshined the red rose. From then on, the wicked old witch ignored her old red rose and lavished all of her wicked, wicked attention on the pretty, pretty golden rose!"

"The red rose," Ka-Kun said softly, "grew bitter. 'How dare that golden rose? How dare that crow? 'I will not stand for it,' the rose declared. It used one of the wicked witch's old spells on itself to make its roots to grow faster. The red roses roots grew so thick and long that it—"

"Entwined itself with the golden rose and sucked all of the life out of that rose. The golden rose died, but the red rose's spell had an aftereffect that caused the red rose to shrivel up and die as well. The wicked old witch then cried herself to death from the lost of her two most prized plants, despite the fact that she had other worthy plants growing in her garden," Ge-Kun finished solemnly. Ka-Kun had stopped spinning him and both Shadow Boys bowed deeply.

"If you enjoyed that story then come see our play! Our play!" Ka-Kun offered.

"It will change your life, I promise you," Ge-Kun sang, "and now we will bid you adieu, adieu Testosterone Boys and Harlequin Girls! Ja, ja, ja, ja!"

Both of the Shadow Boys then left as quickly as they had came, the doors closing shut with their departure.

Kiba cursed, "Well shit…someone must've put something in our drinks. And in the air. And shit."

The others in the room quietly agreed. Sakura touched her forehead and groaned softly, "Am I the only one here…who feels like…something important was happening beforehand…?"

**XOXOXO**

Ge-Kun giggled. It was high pitched and imp-ish and crazed.

"Ka-Kun look! Look at me, look at me!"

The two walked past each other on their stage twice.

"I'm looking. What is it you want to show me?"

They two walked past each other on their stage four times. They finally stopped when the two of them stood together on the middle of the stage.

"Ka-Kun! Look at me! Look at me!"

Ka-Kun rubbed his chin, "This feels like déjà-vu…hmm…"

"I met a very hungry monster," Ge-Kun whispered. His head then fell off and its shadow appeared to be rolling away in the audience's eyes.

Ka-Kun pointed at the headless Ge-Kun accusingly, "And you fell into the monster's trap!"

Ge-Kun rolling head replied, "Did I?"

"I know the name of that rocker chick's boyfriend. The one that died," Ka-Kun said.

"His name was _Kimimaro Kaguya_."

**XOXOXO **

"Lee, what are you doing with a stack of food and standing in front of Gaara's room so late in the evening?"

Lee froze and slowly turned around to meet the curious eyes of Haku. Lee laughed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head with one hand.

"Well you see, Gaara is going to help me with some homework and I was feeling hungry so I'd figure I should bring a snack along to eat!"

Haku tilted his head, shiny dark brown locks covering half of his appealing face, "That seems to be a bit more than a snack, wouldn't you say? And you seem awfully suspicious about it."

"I must seem awfully suspicious from the lack of food! Hahaha! See? It all adds up! Well, you should be on your way now; I would not want to hold you up any longer!"

Haku made a noiseless laugh, color rising to his cheeks from it. He glanced around the hallway before moving closer to Lee and whispered, "I'm glad it was you. I think you'll be good for him."

Haku then stepped back and wished Lee a good night before walking around the nearest corner. Lee let out a soft sigh and knocked softly on Gaara's door, hoping that the redhead wasn't asleep yet.

Gaara's door opened and Lee gave his shiniest smile, "Hello! I hope I am not disturbing you!"

Gaara gave Lee a stony stare, and simply said, "Your slippers."

Lee blinked and looked down at his fuzzy red Elmo slippers.

"Ah yes! Gai-sensei gave them to me as a gift! Their softness help soothe my feet after an intense day of running! Plus, they are very stylish! Do you like them?"

"_No_. And you're being loud," Gaara replied slowly.

Lee lowered his voice, "Oh…I am sorry. I…I brought you some stuff. I noticed that you did not have anything except for water at tonight's dinner. May I come in?"

"Yes," Gaara said after minutes of silence. Lee let out a sigh of relief and stepped inside.

It was a good start.

**XXX**

Naruto sighed. He was trapped. But at least he had somewhere to sleep for the night.

_Ha. Ha. Ha. _

"I'm so glad I found you Naru-chan! You were wandering the halls like a lost little puppy! Do tell your Big Brother what's the matter! You look so livid! Was it my foolish little brother again?" Itachi chirped as he placed a large slice of chocolate cake and a glass of warm milk in front of the blond before taking a seat next to him.

"…I kind of…got into a fight with my roommate. And…and I was going to you know, see Kakashi about getting my room changed, but he wasn't in his room. And none of my friends were in their rooms either," Naruto explained, fiddling with his fingers in a Hinata-like manner. Naruto was perfectly aware to the fact that Itachi had just gotten out of the shower. The older Uchiha's hair was freed from its usual ponytail and wet. He also wore a silky black bath robe that Naruto was sure must have been expensive.

"Ah. What did the two of you get in a fight about?" Itachi asked.

Naruto gulped, "I don't want to talk about it. It was a messed up fight. A bad fight."

At this point, the blond picked up the cake and took a few bites, hoping that his chewing would distract Itachi from asking anymore questions.

Itachi nodded, "I understand. But remember Naruto, you can talk to me about anything. I'll do my best to help you, alright? That's what your nii-chan does best; using his power to take down bitches! _Ohohohohoho_!" The older Uchiha began to laugh in a rather pompous manner.

Naruto took a sip of his milk. Itachi eventually stopped his laughter and began to speak again, "I was wondering, Naru-chan, if you would like to come with me to a ski resort over holiday break."

"I don't know how to ski," Naruto admitted.

"_Oho_! Silly Naru-chan, no one _skis_ at a ski resort! Someone could break a nail or lose a ring! There are plenty of other things to do! Accept my invitation; I'm sure you'd have much more fun with me than staying at this old school!"

"What about Sasuke? I know he wouldn't want me to come, and I don't want to a nuisance to either of you…"

Naruto's right leg touched Itachi's left leg. Their arms were constantly brushing against one another. Naruto took a few more bites of cake.

Itachi airily waved his hand, as if dismissing a servant, "My little brother hates the cold and ski resort. He spends all of his time in his room smoking and brooding and making out with random strangers and eating chocolate when his blood sugar drops! So say yes! Please? You'll make me cry if you don't say yes!"

Itachi's face was now inches from his and the older Uchiha was effectively quivering his bottom lip. Naruto felt his face heat up faster than an oven.

"Uhm…okay…I'll go with you then. Don't…cry?"

Itachi smiled and Naruto observed that Itachi had very…nice…

_Ha. Ha. Ha._

"I'm so glad you're coming, Naru-chan! I'll buy you whatever you want there, got it? Don't even hesitate to ask your nii-chan! I'm going to spoil you rotten!"

Naruto squirmed where he sat. He felt the fluttering wings of butterflies tickle his stomach.

"Itachi…why…do you…ignore Sasuke? I mean…he's your real brother…not me. Why are you so nice to _me_…? I'm nothing."

Naruto felt Itachi's long, elegant fingers grab a hold of his chin. Naruto's eyes widened as they looked into radiating crimson ones.

"It's because I like you, Naruto Uzumaki. It's as simple as that."

_Ha. Ha. Ha._

The next thing Naruto knew, his back was pressed against the softness that was Itachi's couch, and Itachi's weight was pressed pleasantly against his body. The butterflies in his stomach were crawling up his throat and begging for a way out through his mouth along with his heart, lungs, and intestines.

"_Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir_?" Itachi purred into his ear before nipping it, sending shockwaves throughout his entire being. Itachi then kissed him and it was amazing the way Itachi's tongue made his mouth feel like dripping melted chocolate.

_Oh my fucking God, what is he doing? Dipshit, you know what he's trying to do! This is wrong, this is SO wrong; he's how many years older than me? If people found out…and after what I said to Sai…? I can't…_

"Itachi," Naruto murmured once he was free of Itachi's lips.

The sound of a zipper being pulled down.

"Itachi…I can't. I can—_ahhhhhh_!"

A low chuckle.

"…But another part of you desperately wants to, _Naru-chan_…relax and let me make you feel good."

The lights in the room dimmed before going off completely.

**XXX**

_Sakura's eyes grew as wide as saucer plates as they took in the scene in front of her. Of the way her supposed boyfriend was groping and tonguing that Hyuuga boy with more passion that she had ever seen from him in her entire time of knowing Sasuke Uchiha. _

_Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't look away. She couldn't look away. _

_And then Sasuke's eyes met hers. And he smiled a truly vindictive and wicked smile. And all Sakura could think was, 'Why…Sasuke…why would you want to hurt me like this?'_

'_I gave up everything for you. I wanted you so much.'_

'_I loved you.'_

**XXX End Act XXX**

**Bonus Act Six: Drunk**

Uchiha Itachi sighed as he tried to open his car door as well as balance a drunken Sasuke in his arms. A very difficult feat with the bridal-style way he was holding him.

Sasuke was not making things any easier.

The younger Uchiha wrapped his arms around his older brother's neck and nuzzled Itachi's face.

"Aniki," he (attempted) to purr, but came out as a slurred remark, "take me. I know you want me. I see the way you look at me when I'm not wearing a shirt."

Itachi rolled his eyes, "Foolish little brother. That isn't a stare full of lust; it's a stare full of shock. I'm amazed by how pale and scrawny are. And drop that bottle Sasuke. I believe you had enough to drink for the night."

Sasuke growled and bit his brother's nose, "Dumbass. I hate you. I'm going to kill you. I am going to slit your throat when you're sleeping and…and then we'll see who's scrawny. At least Naruto wants me…damn idiot leaving me like this to 'bond' with his family…"

Sasuke paused for a moment and realized that he still had his sake bottle in his hand. He shook it gingerly before bring the opening to his lips and gulped down some of whatever was left in the bottle.

"I'm not getting rid of my baby. The child isn't yours aniki, it's mine. Fucking _mine_, got it?"

Itachi chuckled, "Right."

The older Uchiha easily plucked Sasuke's 'baby' away from him and dropped it onto the side of the road. Sasuke made an undignified squawk and began to pound his fists on Itachi's chest, kicking his legs while yelling every single curse word he had ever learned.

When Sasuke began shouting _incestuous pedophile_, however, Itachi decided that enough was enough.

He managed to get his car door opened and placed Sasuke in the passenger seat. While buckling his brother's seatbelt, Sasuke's head dropped and he began to cry.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. A drunken Sasuke was full of surprises.

"That dobe's probably cheating on me with some girl. A girl with huge breasts who's funny and smart and nice to him. Unlike me. I want breasts," Sasuke wailed, squeezing his own hard and flat male chest.

Itachi shook his head, "Naruto-kun's not cheating on you. Even if you're drunk off your ass, I think you should know better."

Sasuke raised his head and smirked. Itachi though, for a moment, that his brother had magically turned sober.

"Tch. Who can resist me after all? I'm an UCHIHA, a GODDAMNED UCHIHA! Aniki, where's my baby? I'm thirsty. And hot…"

"…It's time to go home now, _bipolar_ little brother."

"…Thank you," Sasuke murmured before drifting off to sleep.

And Itachi smirked. It could have been mistaken for a smile.

**OOO**

Uchiha Sasuke woke up in his own bed, dressed in his pajamas the next morning. On his nightstand was a cup of tomato juice, pills for his hangover, and hand-made onigiri on a plate.

Sasuke made a face and studied the objects on his table before picking up the glass of tomato juice.

It was freshly squeezed, just how he liked it.

**XXX**

**Next Act Crack Attack**:

**Sasuke:** (opens door with an axe) You DID NOT fucking SLEEP with my BROTHER YOU SLUT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!! (rabid foaming at the mouth)

**Sai: **(comes in) And you call me gay? You're EVIL and you're going to HELL! (bursts in tears)

**Naruto:** But, but…Itachi made me do it! He did! He did! (bursts into tears)

**Itachi:** (laying on the couch smoking with a sated smile) Ahhh, you were a good fuck Naru-chan, much better than my brother would have been.

**Orochimaru:** (comes in) Damnit! How come I miss out on the under aged action?!

**Kiba:** (stumbles in with a hangover) Akamarruuuuuuuuuu!!! (sings random Hebrew song)

And this is why Miss Zana is insane.

**Next Act (for real): Rendezvous **

_Is it still me that makes you sweat?  
Am I who you think about in bed?_

_Then think of what you did  
And how I hope to God he was worth it.  
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.  
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck,  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me…_

_Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part,  
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.  
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention._

_You know it will always just be me…_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster,  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster,  
Let's get these teen hearts beating faster…_

**-Panic at the Disco **

That's right, the summary for the next act is a song. Use the song and title to come up with a magical guess of your own. For the next act shall be very magical indeed.

Until the next thrilling chapter of Masquerade…

_Ja ne! _


End file.
